QUESTION: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

ANSWER: 462:

12 to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb

23 to deregulate the light bulb industry

16 to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D

34 to cut the tax rate on light bulbs

53 to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb

41 to talk with defense contractors about night-vision gear instead

283 to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs on the Internet.

Author unknown, Spring 1996