Dear Jarren,
I sit here with so many thoughts of you, so many questions. You, my sweet baby girl, will forever be on my mind. I'm so thankful for the time we had together. I only wish that it could have been forever. I must admit, my darling, I'm not quite as strong without you, but you have left me strong enough to continue our battle to change an injustice that still continues to cost so much in wasted lives. As I sit here and reflect over the past, I realize that your life was not wasted. I am amazed at how much you've shown to so many people, and how much I've learned thanks to you. I also realize how tough our journey together has been, and I will not forget as I continue our battle how tough our quest will continue to be. I can carry on now without you because you helped me find the strength inside me I never knew I had. It is because of you that I will fight that much harder. It is because of you that I can stand a little taller, and it is because of you that I now know what it means to feel powerful in what seems to be a powerless situation.

They told me that you were neither perfect nor complete, but to me you will always be both. Now I know that it is only this world that God kept you from that is neither perfect nor complete. So many looked at you as only another tragedy. You were just a terrible mistake to them, something that could be corrected by simply trying again. But it is really the world that has suffered a tragedy. It is the world that must try again. I will always know that the world is emptier and more flawed without you in your place in my arms. It is a world that desperately needs people like you who can contribute to the changes that will bring us all closer to harmony and perfection.

You've done so much in so little time, my little angel. In just four short months you made people listen and hear and take notice - and you did it all by just being here, without making speeches, without making protests, without doing any more than showing to me and the world those beautiful fingers of yours, your ten perfect fingers. I was told not to interfere with your rights, to let you die with dignity. Please believe me, my beloved daughter, that I cherish nothing more than your rights. Nothing meant more to me than for your life to end with dignity. That's why I wouldn't settle for comfort care for you - nothing seemed more undignified and cruel to me. I knew you would be afraid and would suffer terribly. I hope you understand why I could not let that happen. I hope you understand that I wanted more for you than just a fancy new protocol for the doctors to publish, more than just a ventilator and a blanket to keep you warm.

Thank you, my wonderful baby girl, for adding such meaning to my life. I know that you have made me a better human being. Thank you for exposing a terrible and foolish injustice to me, instead of letting me go on like so many others unable to see or feel the tragedies around me and forget the difference we can make if we only try. I see now how much I've taken for granted, like the feelings of your life growing within me and the fearlessness my connection to you gave to me. I wish I could have you back again, but for whatever reason God chose to keep you from me. I have to understand and accept it as I hope you will. Sometimes I feel weak and I complain about the fate that has been dealt to me, but being your mother has taught me to be strong and control my emotions. Being your mother gave me the faith to conquer my fear.

I always wanted my children to respect others and to be respectable themselves, to never be an embarrassment. I also wanted them to be helpful and hopeful. You certainly have lived up to my greatest expectations, for not only have you gained the admiration and the respect of the entire world, but you have helped the world find a new glimmer of hope, hope that some day many more will receive the precious gift of life that was taken from you so prematurely. I am proud of you, and I hope you will be proud of your Daddy and me. He and I both love you very much, and we miss you more than we can ever tell you.

So, my sweetest child of love, I pray that we will someday have the chance to meet again. We must remember to give thanks to God for bringing us together, even though it was only for a short time. I feel greatly honored to have you come into this life of mine, and to see so much of the way things truly are. Please know that you were worth every minute we had together, and if I had it to do all over again, I'd fight for you exactly the same way. I love you baby girl, and I'll always love you forever and forever.

Love,
Mommy

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