Famous First Drafts
COSTELLO: Hey, Abbott, tell me about this new ball club in town. I hear they're really good.
ABBOTT: They are, Costello.
COSTELLO: Well, who's on the team? What are their names?
ABBOTT: I'll tell you, the players these days, they sure have some funny names, goofy names...
COSTELLO: Well, for example, who's on first?
COSTELLO: That's what I want to know. Who's on first?
COSTELLO: Who is the first baseman?
ABBOTT: That's his name, Who.
COSTELLO: Who is his name?
ABBOTT: Right. His name is Who.
COSTELLO: So, someone named Who is playing first base?
COSTELLO: I see. What's the name of the guy on second base?
ABBOTT: You're right. What is the name of the guy on second base.
COSTELLO: What is his name?
ABBOTT: What is his name. His name is What.
COSTELLO: And third base?
ABBOTT: I don't know.
COSTELLO: You don't know his name, or his name is I don't know?
ABBOTT: His name is I don't know.
COSTELLO: Fascinating. So, in essence, all the players on this team have names that are responses to questions, or are pronouns that can be easily construed as responses to questions. Do you have a pitcher?
COSTELLO: And a catcher?
COSTELLO: It must be confusing as hell.
ABBOTT: You're not kidding.
COSTELLO: Well, thanks for telling me their names, Bud.
ABBOTT: You're welcome, Lou.