I got a book today about insects and Mom read it to me. It's really good. I can read some of the words myself and I watched while she was reading and learned some new words. It has all about centipedes. Centipede means it has a hundred feet, but actually centipedes don't usually have exactly a hundred feet, they just named them that because they have so many legs, they look like they have a hundred. We don't have big stinging centipedes around here and it's a good thing because I don't want to get stung, but we do have these little orange ones that I've seen out in the garden. I get to go to school tomorrow for the first time. Mom says it will be fun and I’ll get to meet lots of other kids.
School was fun. The teacher is named Mrs. Trent. I told her all about centipedes and she thought it was great. She let me draw one on the chalkboard. I told her I have a computer at home. She was really surprised. She said it was too bad we don't have one in the classroom. Then we had to talk about ABCs and play these games with ABC blocks. I asked Mrs. Trent how to spell centipede, so I could write it with the ABC blocks but she said we were just going to do letter sounds because the other kids weren't ready to spell centipede. I tried to make up how to spell centipede but I didn't get it right. Only now I know how to spell it because I looked in my insect book when I got home. It's a funny word because it sounds like it starts with an S but it really starts with a C. Dad says that's called a soft C.
At school today I spelled centipede with the ABC blocks because I remembered it from my book. Mrs. Trent said it was nice, but then we had to go back to talking about the letter sounds. Today I told Mrs. Trent all about tarantulas. I told her how they're big and fuzzy and people are afraid of them, but they usually don't really hurt people and some people have them for pets. I asked Mrs. Trent if we could have a pet tarantula in the classroom. She said she didn't think so, but one time on a science show on TV I saw a guy who had a tarantula for a pet. He let it crawl on him and everything. I told Mrs. Trent all about it and she said it was nice but she still didn't think it would be a good idea to have one in the classroom. I would've spelled tarantula with the ABC blocks but they only had two A’s.
***
Mrs. Trent told Mom I talk too much. Or something like that. After they talked then Mom said I have to learn to be quiet and listen when I go to school. Mom and I got to go to the book store today. I found some really neat books. I found a much bigger better book about insects. It had all sorts of pictures and it had much more words than the one I have now. The words were smaller and harder to read but I could read some of them, and it had a lot more about tarantulas. It had a bunch of different kinds of tarantulas and there was a picture of one that had red legs. Well, not red like a fire truck, but sort of a dark red. It was really cool looking. I asked Mom if we could get it but she says I'm not ready for it yet. I told her I’d be really careful with it and we could keep it in the living room instead of in my room so she would be sure it wouldn't get wrecked, but all she said was, “we'll see.”
Today I tried to tell Mrs. Trent about the book we saw at the book store, but she said we didn't have time to talk about it. We had to talk about adding blocks together and how one block and one block makes two blocks. I told her what my dad told me about how computers don't even use twos, they figure everything out with just zeroes and ones. Then I tried to be quiet and listen because I remembered that's what Mom and Mrs. Trent want me to do. It was really hard. Then we had to go out and play this game with a ball where you bounce it in squares. I didn't like it very much.
I think Mom's mad at me. Mrs. Trent told her I still talk too much. I don't think Mrs. Trent likes me very much anymore. I used to think she did.
Today I didn't go to school. I just got to stay home and watch TV and read and do stuff on my computer. I found a show on TV about tigers. It was really cool, except the tigers kill these other animals that look like deer. I forget what they're called. And they eat them. It was kind of gross, but it was neat too. The guy doing the talking said they have to do that to survive. The mother tiger killed this deer thing and dragged it over where her cubs could eat it. The cubs were really cute. They looked like kittens only bigger.
Tomorrow Mom says I'm going to go to a different school. I guess I was right that Mrs. Trent didn't like me. Mom says the new school will be just as good, but I really have to remember to be quiet and listen. I guess that must be why they don't want me at Mrs. Trent’s school anymore, because I won't be quiet and listen enough. Mom says I should try to make friends with the other kids. I mainly made friends with Mrs. Trent when I went to school. I guess you're not supposed to do that. Maybe that's why Mrs. Trent didn't like me. At the new school I'll try to do the right things.
I went to the new school today. We had to drive longer to get there. The teacher's name is Jane. We don't have to call her Mrs. or anything, just Jane. I tried to make friends with this boy that sat next to me by telling him about tarantulas. He didn't say much. Then Jane said I wasn't supposed to be talking. We did a different game with a ball where you all stand in a circle. It wasn't very much fun.
***
Every day I have to go to school and every day it's never any fun. We have to do the same dumb stuff over and over again and Jane is always telling me to pay attention.
I told Mom I don't like school. I don't see why I can't just stay home and read and watch TV and play on my computer. Mom says everyone has to go to school.
***
Today I had to go see a really important man. He smiled a lot but I don't think he liked me. He asked me a lot of questions about things I'm not good at like playing ball and making friends. I tried to tell him about centipedes and he kept smiling, but I don't think he was interested at all. Mom says he's some kind of a doctor. I told her I didn't feel sick, but she said I had to go to him anyway. I don't see why I can't just go to Dr. Allen like I do when I'm sick, but Mom says this is a different kind of a doctor. He has a really long last name that Mom can say. He told me I should just call him Edward. I don't want to call him anything.
Mom says I have to take medicine even though I'm not sick. She says it will help me pay attention in school. I'm going to take it in the morning. You just drink it like Pepto Bismol.
I don't feel good today. I told Mom I don't want to go to school. She says I have to go anyway. I told her I feel like I might throw up. I don't think she believed me, but she said she'd ask the new doctor if it might be from the medicine. I sat on the floor and told her I wasn't going. She picked me up and made me go anyway. Sometimes I hate her.
The teacher called Mom and made her come and pick me up. Now Mom says we have to go back to Dr. Edward.
Dr. Edward says I have to take more medicine. He says I'll stop feeling like throwing up and my stomach aches will go away. He says I need more medicine so my mom won't have to pick me up and make me go to school. I also have to go talk to him twice a week. I asked Mom to stay with me because I was scared, but she said she was sure he wouldn't hurt me and I had to just behave and go talk to him. I cried but I went and sat with him because I didn't want her to pick me up and make me do it. He asked me a lot of questions about things like how people's faces look when they talk and what other kids say in class. I tried to talk to him because I didn't want Mom to be mad at me, but I didn't know what to say.
I went to school today and I didn't talk too much. My stomach still hurts a little but I don't care. Jane says I'm doing a lot better. I caught the ball today when we were playing that circle game. Jane said that was good.
***
I'm going to graduate from first grade and then I'll be in second grade. I guess that's important. Some kids are going to have the whole summer off school, but Mom says Dr. Edward says I have to go to summer school. He says I need a lot of school so I can learn things like making friends and playing ball. I still have to talk to him every week. He asks me all sorts of questions about whether things make me mad or sad. If I say no, he always asks the same question again, so usually I say maybe or I guess so or sometimes. Nobody gets mad at me if I do that.
Dr. Edward says I'm different than other kids. He says there's something the matter with my brain and that's why I talk too much and don't make friends with other kids. He says I can't ever really get better, I just have to always take medicine to make me act better.
Today I saw this bug in the garden. It had a lot of legs. I forget what it's called. I squashed it with a rock.
The End
© 2001 Mari Werner
This
story is based on a true story of a real child labeled with "Asperger's
Syndrome". I don't like the way it ends, but for millions of children this
is how the story is ending. And it will end this way for millions more
unless something changes. I would like to write a different ending,
not for this story, but for the real children of the real world.
If this story touches
someone somewhere in your life, if you would like a different ending ---
you'll find information, help and resources in the links below.
Safe
Harbor
A resource for alternative mental health, including articles, testimonials,
and practitioner referrals for children labeled with ADHD or other "mental
illnesses"
Dr. Fred
A Baughman's site
Essays, articles, and information pertaining to the fraud
of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Dr. Fred Baughman is a board
certified neurologist and a fellow of the American Academy of Neurology.
Dr.
Thomas Szasz's site
Studies and articles by Dr. Szasz on the real scientific data
(and the lack of it) regarding ADHD and mental illness. Dr. Thomas Szasz
is Professor of Psychiatry Emeritus at New York State University at Syracuse,
and is the author of 23 books including "The Myth of Mental Illness"
Dr. Peter
Breggin's site
Data on the impact of mental health theory and practices upon individual
well-being, personal freedom, and family and community values. Dr. Peter
Breggin is the founder of The International Center for the Study of
Psychiatry and Psychology and author/co-author of "The War Against Children,"
"Toxic Psychiatry" and "Talking Back to Prozac."
Citizen's
Commission on Human Rights
Articles and information exposing Psychiatric fraud and abuse of
all kinds. CCHR was established in 1969 by the Church of Scientology as
an independent body to investigate and expose psychiatric violations of
human rights and to clean up the field of mental healing.
Home Page
Email: mariw@earthlink.net