It’s Up to You 

When the sun came up, Upton woke up and sat up and got a feeling that something was up. He decided to get up and get dressed up and call up his girlfriend, Penelope, and see what she was up to. She told him she was all dolled up and was just finishing putting on her makeup. “I have to hurry up,” she said, “I’ve got an audition for a really upscale part and now there’s been some foul up with my car, but I’ve got to show up on time.” “Keep you chin up,” said Upton “I’ll drive up and pick you up.”

Traffic was snarled up because of a pile up involving a pickup, and they were held up for about ten minutes waiting for the clean up. After that, traffic sped up and they were able to make up the time and show up just when her time was up. When they got there he pulled up at the curb, and they got out and went up the stairs to the audition room. Penelope went up to the casting assistant and asked her to look up her  name on the list.
 

She was giving the scene a read through and had just finished up when the casting director came up and said, “You’re up.” Penelope got up and went up to read for the part. When she came back, she said the reading was messed up because of the upstart she had to read with, who kept trying to upstage her. But she asked Upton could he wait up because she wanted to see if she’d be called up for a second reading.

The upstaging upstart came up and started talking himself up. He even went so far as to say he’d be up for an Oscar in a year or two. He kept up a running monologue and Upton was starting to want to upchuck. He was wondering if the upstart would ever come up for air, when Penelope finally got fed up and just upped and told him to shut up. Then Penelope was called up for a second reading, and it turned out the upstaging upstart wasn’t. He got so upset about it that he tore up his script pages.

It ended up that Penelope got the part, and they decided to go uptown to celebrate. “Things are really looking up,” she said. She was sokeyed up, she couldn’t make up her mind where to go.
“I think either the Uprising or the Upper Crust,” said Upton, “but it’s up to you.”

© 2001 Mari Werner

Elephants’ Trunks 

But back to the subject at hand, an elephant’s trunk doesn’t have any bones in it. It’s more like a combination nose and upper lip. If you’ve ever wished you could combine your nose and upper lip into a single physical structure, don’t be alarmed. You were only wishing you were an elephant. People sometimes disparagingly refer to themselves or one another as elephants, but in fact, the elephant is a noble intelligent creature. You could do worse.

But back to trunks, the elephant uses its trunk to put food in its mouth, spray water or dust on itself, pull down trees, examine small objects, detect the scent of predators or friends, and make threatening gestures. Useful activities that, when you think of it, you probably can’t remember ever doing with either your nose or your upper lip. (Except maybe the threatening gestures.)

© 2001 Mari Werner