Cathi

Cathi's Back Page 3

Originally posted October 12, 2002

Solitude

The more time that I spend on this planet, the more I appreciate solitude. I need time to sort through the events in my life by myself and in my own way. I guess that you could consider this a form of meditation. I no longer feel any need to share every single one of my private thoughts with others, although this is a trait that I find intriguing in young children. Not too long ago I was accused of never having an opinion. The truth is that I have a great many opinions. I tend to keep them to myself, except when I'm in the company of my closest friends. We don't always agree on things, but we are close enough to respect each other as valid individuals. Looking at the trees in our backyard is the perfect place for me to think, to plan, to dream and to appreciate. I don't just look at the trees. I watch the clouds, the birds, the insects , the shadows and the light. It's peaceful. It's tranquil and it refreshes my spirit. Our Back Yard Bird life list has now reached 53 species. The latest additions are a Carolina Wren, Peregrine Falcon, Broad-Winged Hawk and Yellow-bellied Sapsucker. For the details, you can go to Back Yard Bird List.

Shape

This page is my third corner. I was considering a different name, but then I don't know what shape this thing is going to have. So far, it is a triangle. Triangles are good. That whole Trinity thing. Triangles do actually play a part in my life. Our flower bed in the front yard is one, so is the formation of clothes poles in our backyard, and the decorative wicker butterflies hanging in our hallway. . . .

Texture

I have always appreciated textures, in anything; from the corduroy appearance of crops growing in rows, to the well placed addition of a violin part, the mixture of heavy dark and lightweight white clouds in the sky. Some how this does fit into my renewed interest in Taoism. If things are the way they are supposed to be, I should learn to work with them and not complain or let them upset me. New Sky I'm still unsure how to fit this in with my upbringing where we always seemed to be praying for change in one way or another. Even as I child I wondered how god could possibly care about the weather on a given day, the outcome of my spelling test or any number of other minutia . I found it simpler to just take an umbrella, study and do my best.

Hobbies

I have been trying to figure out some way to have a creative outlet. Digital photography may actually be a good way for me to express myself with the complications of overusing my hands. I have been doing all sorts of handcrafts since I was a young child and now my hands simply do not cooperate. Watching myself be Mrs. Fumble-fingers is not a pleasant experience. Michael has been patiently teaching me some basic photography with the film camera. I have managed to take some very interesting photographs. I need a hobby with more immediate gratification. The digital camera is also lighter for me to carry. I can take a digital photograph and adjust into a work of art or simply delete the image. But more important is the aspect of having a creative project to think about. I need a creative outlet. I can only compose so many poems and short stories in my head before not being able to write it down legibly upsets me. (And to think that I used to do calligraphy and make spare change addressing wedding invitations.) Michael is truly a gifted photographer and his images are picture perfect. My film photography is adequate and occasionally interesting, but in a certain sense I feel that is a duplication of effort and I should have my very own thing. Having an image saved and working on it for just a bit of time now and then will hopefully become my new arts and crafts. Maybe I'll be able to appreciate the unseen qualities in an image in the same way that I used to conceptualize things made with fabric, yarn and thread. That other half of my brain needs to be utilized and maybe this is the way. At least it is something fun to think about and that is most of the purpose. I have included a sample of some of my efforts on this page. I am enjoying the creative process (again!). Also, I have continued my trip down Memory Lane with a new section of the Ten-Oh-Two saga, Day One. . . - The Fireworks.

Elsewise

The task of rearranging continues here at 1002. I have a vision of a tidy, organized space. The idea of having decor is long gone.; We are now simply concentrating on storage and a more functional use of our limited space. Creating an improv area in the basement for Michael's music studio has been wonderful. We have several areas where he can sit and read words or music and actually leave it open to the page that he's on without me needing to move things off to the side to have a flat surface to do the truly pedestrian tasks of dealing with the household finances and such. Don't get me wrong, I am welcome to use anything in the studio at any time. I do use the computer, or at least try to. When it comes to music, I have no abilities whatsoever. I am the only person that I know of who was told about the importance of being a member of the audience when they auditioned for Glee Club. It was the teacher's somewhat polite way of telling me to not sing, but I still sing anyway (especially when I don't know the actual lyrics and make up my own!).

Digital art(?)

Storm at the Lake