December 1 - December 24, 1998

CHAPTER XX

THE EYES HAVE IT

The wind had come up again and was blowing icily as Julia searched the plaza. At first she couldn't find the brown puppy. She had to hold the plate of scraps Dewey gave her almost over her head to prevent the aggressive and healthy dogs in the pack from claiming it.

She finally located the brown puppy in a crevice in the rocks, out of the wind, behind Ponsi Hall. He was curled in a tight ball and so deeply asleep that he wasn't aware of her arrival. She sat down on the ledge in the crevice next to him, then ran a tentative hand over his coat, which was coarse and spiky with dust. He smelled like the inside of a garbage can. She stroked his sculpted head and felt the deep depression between his eyes. She also knew that only animals who were very ill slept this deeply. But her touch and the smell of the food finally brought him around.

She had to break the already small bits of turkey and pieces of yam into even smaller pieces and then coax him to take any of it.

"Storm coming," Dewey said.

Julia looked up and saw him gazing toward the San Francisco peaks in the distance.

"Snow . . . Sometime tomorrow," he finished.

He was resting against the back cinderblock wall of Ponsi Hall. She wondered how long he had been there. Dewey looked at her for a long moment, then turned and moved around the corner of the building and disappeared from view.

She was still so torn. Even if the young dog survived the trip back to Los Angeles, dogs were such an enormous undertaking. Was she really up to it? She didn't know anything about caring for dogs. What about the cats? It was unlikely this was an addition to the family they would be likely to welcome.

Despite Juanita's jacket, Julia shivered. She stroked one of the puppy's long ears. She could feel him shuddering with cold, too. He swiveled his head and looked at her. His eyes penetrated hers.

She was jolted by what she saw within their depths.

***

"This is completely nuts!" Jay said when he found Julia out behind Ponsi Hall. She was in the process of fashioning a collar and leash for the brown puppy out of two stray dress belts she had retrieved from what remained of the donated clothing in the bags out in front of Ponsi Hall.

"How are you going to get him home?" Jay said. "He doesn't have shots. He looks pretty sick. There aren't any airlines that will let you fly him without a health certificate."

"Then please, Jay, please drive us back yourself."

"It's about six hundred miles. There's no way I'm doing that."

"Loan me the rental car. Once I'm home, I'll turn it in at one of the local offices."

"He'll probably destroy the back seat. I'll be responsible . . . Besides," he snorted, "you're afraid to drive."

"I'll guess I'll have to get over that."

"I've been pretty damn patient with you today," Jay said. "While you were having your powwow with her dad, and God only knows what the two of you found to say to each other all that time, Rose dragged me from one end of the mesa to the other, in and out of every house where the people were selling their crafts. I am now the proud owner of a lifetime supply of pots with black squiggles on them, weird-looking Katsina dolls, and unbelievably expensive baskets! None of it even goes with my decor! Now let's get out of here. I do not want to try and find my way down off these mesas in the damn dark."

"Just take us to Cameron or Tuba City, where I can rent a car on my own," Julia pleaded as though she hadn't heard any of Jay's diatribe.

"Why this dog, anyway? If you're dying to get a dog, there are perfectly good dogs back in Los Angeles!"

Julia didn’t want to risk answering.

"Well, what was it, a sign from above or something?" he asked.

"Kind of."

"No one's going to rent you a car without a drivers license," Jay pointed out, shaking his head. "That you managed to lose your license prior to the trip oughta be all the sign from above you need."

"What I need is to take this dog home."

"It's not going to happen," Jay said with finality.

"I was nervous, Jay," Julia said acidly, "up until some point last winter when I could still think of other people besides myself, that is, nervous about what would happen to you after Paco died."

Jay didn't seem to understand.

"Paco was your good side," she continued. "You don't have one of your own."

Jay seemed stung.

Julia continued. "I hate the way you're always hijacking me for lunches I don't want to eat, movies I can't concentrate on long enough to sit through. I've had it with you, and your . . . tactics. You've been bullying me for months: the whole Dr. Inkster thing, that intermittent three-day lecture series you delivered when I went on leave from the studio. I'm sick of your very patience with me! What is it with you? Am I just part of Paco's accouterments? And you're just taking me over the same way you took over his job and his office?"

Jay eyed her for a long moment. "Jules, I let Paco down a lot when he was alive. I know that. I didn't mean to. It's just that most of time, I can't get out of my own way. I loved him more than I ever loved anyone. I know there's no love lost between the two of us--"

"What's your point?"

"Before Paco died, he had a last request for me, too. He made me promise to look after you. On this one, I have no intention of letting him down. I have no intention of him thinking me sans serif through eternity."

Julia sat back down on the ledge next to the puppy and placed her hand on his head. She glanced over at Jay who was looking anxiously back at her.

"Watch out, Jay," she said, "you're in danger of becoming a real friend here. I was just getting used to the situation as it is."

Jay seemed relieved. "Okay, so we're in agreement? You're going to forget this dog idea. You can barely take responsibility for yourself and your cats. You just can't take on a dog at this point."

Julia didn't answer.

Jay watched as Julia removed Juanita's jacket and tucked it around the puppy. She lifted one of the puppy's velvet flopparino ears and whispered something to the animal.

***

On the drive back to Grand Canyon Village, they barely spoke. Julia, it seemed to Jay, was reconciled to the idea she wasn't going home with the brown puppy.

The next morning, Christmas Eve, Jay and the others waited for Julia in the El Tovar dining room. She didn't show. When they compared notes, Jay learned that Julia had approached each of them, separately, late the night before and appealed to each to rent her a car. It was something none of them felt they could agree to.

Moments later, arriving in the corridor outside Julia's room straight from the dining room with his napkin still in hand, Jay saw the maid's cart and that the door was open. From the doorway, he surveyed the room.

Julia's things were gone.

At the desk in the lobby the clerk confirmed what Jay suspected. Julia had checked out at about nine P.M. last night, but not before she had asked the clerk to change her airplane reservation so she could catch the last flight back to Los Angeles.

(to be continued)

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