A man walked into a bar and immediately called out, "Who is the owner of that Saint Bernard tied up outside?" A man replied, "It's mine. Why do you ask?"

The first man walked up to him and said, "I'm sorry, but my dog just killed your dog."

The owner of the Saint Bernard was shocked, "Are you kidding me?! That dog is huge! He's bigger than my car!"

The first guy explained, "Well, he choked on my Chihuahua"




A lady wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in her tree. She looks in the phone book and finds a gorilla removal service.

When she asks if they can remove the gorilla, the service guy asks, "is it a male or female?''

"male" she replies

"oh yeah, we can do it. I'll be right there." he states.

An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs.

He then gives the woman some instructions. "I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls out of the tree. When he does, the trained chihuahua will go to bite the gorillas testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself, allowing you to handcuff him."

The woman asks, "what do i do with the shotgun?"

The service guy replies," If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla does, shoot the chihuahua."


And now, the 'toon of the week...