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ANITA SANDS' FREE WEB TECH SCHOOL FOR HIGH IQ NEWBIES
Before you click on that LIVE LINK, above, Let me say I was the classic Web Newbie Dummie. I signed up for a 15$ semester at ADULT HIGH SCHOOL and learned to use MICROSOFT WORD which lets me do
web-ready, formatted text, called HTML. I found graphics I liked at google. When you go there, hit IMAGES. THen put in the word. Say you wanted JOHNNY APPLESEED. Just write that in there and you get hundreds
of old paintings and gravures of him. These graphic sites didn't require one asking, they simply allowed me to use stuff that's out there. Some of the prettiest design I found were at textile designer/ vendors. I COULD have created my own on paper, and used a scanner, but I can't figure out how to use a scanner. Nor do I own one that ever worked. I never went to a scanner class. It doesn't take MUCH to teach me but it takes SOMETHING, or SOMEONE. And when Sam the Man came to teach me scanner, HE COULDN'T DO IT, so I put the thing in a box and left it alone.
I obtained a free FILE TRANSFER PROTOCOL software on line. JUST write in "DOWNLOAD FREE" in google's box, " ftp software" and get Ipwitch or Filezilla for your particular version of WINDOWS, I'm 98 so that's hard to find, that's old software. I used FTP and got very very familiar with the inner workings of website making.
I didn't install a counter on the website, as it slows down the
visitor! Don't want that. SOME PEOPLE for gad knows what reason, have a
fake counter (it registers different bogus numbers every time the
website is accessed...38138 29442 138993 etc in a realistic "counter
box"...just for laughs). Don't get it. I want laffs I turn on Will and
Grace or BECKER, (Highly underrated series, sharp as a tack!)
Earthlink actually provides quite a bit of data about the traffic on any
of its websites, using a program called Urchin. (Seach the Earthlink
site only for Urchin....). Because free webspace is non-commercial, we
don't get the bells-and-whistles worth of info you'd get for a domain
site, but it's pretty decent, and yes, there's a breakdown by page.
There you can see if there s a viewer spike on a certain date, due to an
email you send to your lists (mine number a thousand people, earned in 7
yrs online, being friendly,) I maybe send a link out about "the ruthless
rules of reality," how you have to read this file!. BINGO I get visitors
When I began to design my own websites, I spent a whole evening changing
the resolution on my computer so that I could be sure the design would
"fit" most computers. For many of the design decisions, I had erred on
the conservative side (fonts, colors....) on purpose, not because they
were "owners of old PCs" or because I'm naturally conservative, but so
that people with antique computers would have a chance to see them as
intended....hence, Georgia font and standard (256) colors. I created the
website inside a table format that is both neat - and infinitely
programs to compress graphics, etc The BEST resource is
www.cheapwebtricks.com - GREAT site, has everything from graphics to
editors to some fancy java stuff...all for free. There are free editors
that work w/Windows 95, if you look. Microsoft Word is frustratingly bad
for designing web pages, sort of like eating soup with a fork, yeah, you
CAN do it, eventually, but why would you want to, when there are
spoons??? I run Windows 98, came with FrontPageExpress, which is
suitable for my purposes right now.
There are 2 rules for writing for the internet, in lock step with the 2
reasons people GO to the internet... to find info quickly and for
entertainment. Whatever else they may be, websites need to be (1)
organized as well as (2) witty. If I have to fight to find the thread of
coherence in a website, I skip it. My time's too valuable and there are
too many websites out there for me to waste a minute trying to figure
out what kind of convoluted mental gyrations produced THAT unorganized
page. If I am looking for information, I also don't waste my time on
pages that looked like they were knocked out by my neighbor's
fourth-grader -- the quality of the design needs to be reflective,
somewhat, of the prose (flexibility counts: I may re-visit a badly
designed site that has something worthwhile to say, but I triage out
pretty quickly cutesy sites that don't say a thing). And I don't think
my threshold of patience is any lower or higher than the average.
My second site http://home.earthlink.net/~anitaastrologer/ rambled....repeated itself....lacked focus....slapped things
up there one after another. What I was attempting to do was create an
organized site out of articles that spanned an arc from food to
humor to health to politics, not an easy task.
There are actually two sites 1. http://home.earthlink.net/~astrology/
then the LEGACY OF THE FUTURE site where I have my original design of a
little baby kid getting ready to cork Hilary 2..
I did these with microsoft word version 2000 nothing very fawncy. It
would not be a big deal to copy original page, slap it into FrontPage
Express, I think one of my PC's has FRONT PAGE ON IT, twiddle with it,
save it to my hard drive and reload or FTP to Earthlink. Once saved on
my hard drive, all I need to do is update, save & reload again...
TWO PALS RUNNING A WEBSITE.
TWO PEOPLE can design a site from separate houses/ PC's. THey first have
to pull the PAGE that sits out there IN CYBERSPACE into their own
machine. WHY THAT IS is cuz who knows what the latest version is. THE
LATEST version is obviously the one that's up there. WHEN TWO PEOPLE
LOAD, you can get differing versions in their two pcs right? SO I INHALE
the cyberversion As my partner if he/she wanted to work on it also would
have to. YOU ALSO would have to then be able to see it on your software.
YOUR SOFTWARE is waymore advanced so you can see my design. THE QUESTION
is, can I SEE YOURS? I don't have your software. I am using MICROSOFT
WORD and NETSCAPE COMMUNICATOR to do my work. like adding FOR AN ARTICLE
ON HOW TO HEAL THE MUMPS WITH GRAPES CLICK ON http://www.mumpgrape.com
that URL loading. I never put the http visible.
It's always HIDDEN as a hidden link in a word
That becomes an url to visit as it has a link sewn into it. I DO THAT in
the most primordial software around. Circa 1995 when my pc was made.
SO if you design, and do does pal, you have to incorporate the latest
version up in cyberspace OR YOU WILL ELIMINATE THE LATEST ADDITIONS IN
THE LATEST EDITION!
In other words, the redesign you sent me is already outmoded and not
useable as there are new links up there in cyberspace.
THEN THERE IS the question of tone.
TONE is a big deal. There is serious tone, WASHINGTON POST THere is
ultra serious, NEW YORK TIMES There is hilarious TONE, JIM HIGHTOWER AND
MOLLY IVINS the Texas based columnists....VERY SHARP
I dont aim to be the New York Times, the Washington Post or anything
approaching that. I'm not even www.whatreallyhappened.com or
Information Clearinghouse --- both excellent sites that sizzle by the
shear strength of the truth and their unbridled indignation. We can
admire all the sizzling humorists we want...but face it, our articles are
not primarily humor, not the Bush family stuff nor 21 ways to create
peace or holistic healing. What we do offer is niche material, but a
niche that can keep a reliable group coming back for more -- and most
importantly, a site that provides info that other BIGGER sites would
like to link to...and THAT is the important part of traffic.
This fits back with the whole thing under organization.... If the site is
sloppy and random looking, larger sites aren't going to want to link to
it, even if they find a nugget there that they like. The goal rather
than sizzle might better be to present good solid stuff...interesting
stuff, well written...that can, in turn, be linked to other sites and that
links to others sites. That's the one main benefit the Internet has over
all other media sources... in a click, you can go from articles on
holistic healing to cancer research to nutrion based therapies to
genetically modified foods to the history of the potato. Never could do
that with books. And since one of the ancillary goals is to get our
information out there...traffic counts.
HIGH TOWER AND IVINS are my heroes. Along with the foodie what is his
name, foodie elegant guy, about 60, writes many books on food. CALVIN
TRILLIN. AL FRANKEN MICHAEL MOORE, WICKED WIT. Absolutely sensational
BILL MAHER and JON STEWART The hallowed guys. See, there's where I want
this newspaper to sit. IN THE ZONE of the great wits. IF two people run
a site, one writes, hopefully the other designs. BOth ARE PUBLISHER and
city editor. BUT WRITING LIGHT, fast, breezy and funnny even i\f it's
about the war in Iraq is important. GIVE THEM HUMOR and you'll get 99
hits a day cuz nobody has seen anything like it.
FOR ME, putting a baby punching HILLARY is a sell the angle piece. It
says THIS RIDE IS GOING TO BE HILARIOUS.
I don't go for the New Hampshire style front page all ho hum, which sez
ordinary banal, neat and very new england.
TONE is everything. I WANT PEOPLE to buckle into their seats meaning
STAY A WHLE and read a lot of stuff as it's ticklng their fun button. I
want them to KNOW a priori that they are going to go for the roller
coaster ride of all time. POLITICAL yes. DHARMIC sure. BUT ABOVE all a
roll in the hay with laffs and giggles . COMEDY. SATIRE.
They get the tone when they see that front page. MERRY. Zesty, salacious
at times, witty, THE HILLARY SELLS IT!
They can feel the bubbles under the cork. They know what fizz is going
to explode out and none of these articles disappoints. THey see the fizz
in the article and go, yeah, just like the front page promised.
If the front page looks like the NEW HAMPSHIRE CLARION the fizz in the
articles is mystifying. Like ....how could this paper publish THIS
It's fizz all the way. CONSISTENT TONE. The front page promises a tone,
the articles deliver. After a while they also see that there are no
additives, synthetic materials, no toxins, that it's all BUDDHA DHARMIC
and TRUTHFUL SCIENCE and sincere warnings. "STAY AWAY FROM ASPARTAME
here's why!" (OH just came to mind, colatterally and parenthetically) I
have a friend's husband melting away right now, Lou Gehrig's disease,
lost two more of it. My PC teacher/fixer and my most wonderful boyfriend
the comedy writer. Not the two oscar guy. He died of a rare cancer,
cancer of the blood. I had another guy in there, freelance article
writer, but comedy only. He wrote for all the mags, worked for larry
hustler at the end.flynt. I really loved him. The gal pal whose hubby is
dying of it, I said, get LORENZO's OIL and read the book version.
BACK TO SUBJECT. We give them holism, utterly prohibited at any mag even
the new age mags who cannot say LORENZO"s OIL will cure this disease. Or
promise that grape seeds will cure cancer, or whatever. We go where n
man legally can. WE pillage the frontier and bring back 22nd century
info. And the political criticism. Ours is leavened with bubbles and
when folks suspect bubbles are in eveyr single article, they will click
on every url click read click read. ERGO high page readings/visit
statistics. Tell me, your counter work on the articles too?
YOU ARE A GENIUS, you installed a counter? MAN that is so beyond me! Or
are you using ELN's default counter, And is the counter visible when I visit the site?
If you read this far you're a genius, IQ high. Either you get the
bubbles quotient and leave some of it there as it's no use doing a wild
artistic experiment unless the art is left as the artist created
it.......a LABEL that promises CHAMPAGNE, BUBBLES HILARITY, LAUGHING
GAS..... and delivers.
See, my concept is, if it werne't for orgasm, NOBODY would stick their
sex organ in another person's private area! YUK FACTOR way too high.
THAT would be so over with. THE FIRST time an experimental gorilla tried
it, he'd have done it enuf.too wierd. And thelady would have left him
for doing it. PUT THE BUBBLES THERE EVERYBODY COMES BACK!
From a lady who deeply prefers red burgundies to bubbly champagne but
knows what kids want. And I suspect the country is peopled with kids.
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