by anita sands hernandez

Ever thought of quitting your boring, YUKKIE but quite necessary JOB? I’ll bet that you earn a 'barely can make it' two thousand a month only it eats up 160 hours OF YOUR LIFE! You could almost spit off bridges all day and earn that much! Why not commit to a path that will introduce you to the blue blood socialite women of your city (who in turn will introduce you to a very rich man!) or in the case of a young man, introduce you to her husband’s aching back and then he’d get you into the Big Corporation.

If that appeals to you,  START a career as a holistic healer doing massage? And maybe retail the NATURE’s SUNSHINE line (clickable URL!) of rejuvenating herbs. These herbs come from real Mormons in Spanish Fork Utah. They let you sell retail, don’t demand you make huge orders. A bottle each order is fine with them. My healer, Marjorie paid 3$ a bottle, I paid 6$ still lower than healthfood stores.

If you charge 50$ a massage (just to start,) and do only 40 massages a month (ten a week,) you will make that YUKKIE JOB sum easy.  But you will  make MORE if you ‘deal healing herbs.’ MANY massage therapists charge 100$ a massage and so can you when you build up your client list. Soon you'll earn double what your former, yukkie boring job provided. My experience watching girls in this field tells me you can do that very quickly but not at the gitgo. ALL CAREER word of mouth takes a few months.

A smart masseuse can start doing HOLISTIC MASSAGE as a career tomorrow morning. How? CALL UP a dozen women you know who are over 40 (ergo needing a wake up, a toxic banishing healing session,) and say 'can I practice on you? You tip me what it's worth.” Or get a training video, throw it on the VCR. One of the best is

NEXT, after you have worked on a few friends, go to the printer and get your cards printed up. "SHIATSU, ROLFING or  SWEDISH massage,  (*Clickable URL describes the diff types!) for women only" and don't put a price on the card. As you bump into new clients which you will find at the gym or healthfood store,

And when I say ‘bump into someone new at the healthfood store,’ bump consciously. Target the woman in the cashmere sweater set with gray hair, saying ‘oh, it’s great you’re buying celery, you know that cleans out the arteries. The ORGANIC sodium in celery actually melts the IN-organic that is the plaque in your veins or your husband’s. You could buy him another twenty years of life! Did you know Wal-Mart has juicers for 30$???” There’s a conversation opener! Read CELERY101.   *(click on that ‘secret method to befriend yuppies at HFS) posh boutique owners, hairdressers. Always tell them verbally what you charge!

She’ll say ‘are you a nature doctor? “ You answer, modestly, ‘Yes, of sorts. I do holistic rejuvenation massage. Here’s my card and only 50$ half what others charge,” all in one breath. Then go to the cheese counter and warn the next lady wearing a GUCCI purse on her arm about high salt and dairy fats in JACK CHEESE and tell them avocado tastes just as fine on a pc of toasted bible bread. And give them your card. 

Then, stand in the checkout line (a real long one) with the lady in the fab, Chanel pantsuit. Talk up the four cultures in her yogurt and how supermarket yogurt only has one culture and isn’t it smart that she shops at Whole Foods!

Every time you get too many clients, up the price a little. If some client says 'when I bumped into you at the AEROBICS class or cheese counter, you said it was $50 how come it's 75$?" Respond: 'so many people came that I got too busy. I had to raise prices but I'll honor what I told you." Makes them feel like a lucky sailor at a Macy's sale!

One good thing, you can start this career immediately. LIKE TOMORROW! No city licenses are required if you don’t advertise. If you have to put your ads in a city newspaper or HOLISTIC magazine, the city might sniff around. So let word of mouth provide you with clients at first then later take the test which qualifies you for a license. But in some states you have to have a completed course with an accredited massage school to get that license. An Oregon pal says: “Check your state as to the legal requirements. Here in Oregon, you MUST have a state issued license, graduate from an accredited massage school, take the State Board Exams and the Nationals. It is not just getting a city business license. Total time and money investment is several thousand dollars and a year or two for coursework, then taking the tests, etc. (yes, you can get loans, but they have to be started in the paying back process before graduating. - at least for the first ones you get. etc.. There are very few states that don't require a license any more. Great idea, but be careful. People here (in Oregon) expect to see your license before hiring you.”

But if you open up a circle of clients the way I suggested, at the pile of celery in healthfood store, you could be a guerilla massage therapist for all the years it would take to get the schooling you really do need. Take your time learning the skill by doing it for 5$ a mini massage for the first few weeks. When you’re good and your clients love you and tip you well, then get a student loan, take the training, take the city or state tests and get an official license. The city Test basically asks if you know where the gluteus, lymph glands, etc are as I heard from an L.A. therapist.

I used to tell students find old ladies at old age homes, practice on them. BUT AN OLD AGE HOME as a starting point for massage may sound easier than it is...because the brass at that home is concerned about lawsuits. There is a huge trade now in outraged families suing senior care! Families make bank suing and insurance companies who have to pay out probably have warned old age it, but if you word it right you'll have the owner of home eating out of your hand. Say 'YOU KNOW, bed sores are the main reason families sue. I can prevent them and teach your workers how to prevent them. Circulation to the parts the geriatric is lying on!" IT MAY BE that there's some serious 'whoops! To that though. Like No license no freebies." 

WELL it's ok. YOU CAN GO STRAIGHT TO MAKING money even though your spirit is open to practicing on your own family's elders. God rewards the innocent, generous spirit. 

When you are really good and build your wind, shop the posh markets, chat with the carriage trade. You will find that the ritzy socialites of your town absolutely go wild for you and your healing touch. They will recommend you to all their friends. You’ll be at all their Christmas parties. They will do what all older women do, introduce their favorite little new gal pal to all the single men and young eligibles. SO never ever tell a gal that you date a STUDMUFFIN! As far as they’re concerned you go home to your Siamese cat and Discovery channel!

Start right now on this exciting new career. Get a book on anatomy to study up for the city licensing test for all massage techs to get their city license. Why STUDY really,you could probably pass this city test with the minor knowledge you already have like where is the tibia? The Femur. ONE COULD get an A, most probably. 

As for the healing touch, you’ll learn doing it. You can always give massage away for a ten spot at old age homes, to your mom’s elderly friends. ANY woman over forty is starting to slow down and would get a refreshing HIT off a good cleansing deep massage. ALWAYS tell the woman, ‘drink lemon and water for a few hours as I loosened a lot of toxins and if you don’t, your liver will ache. “ True. Even if you never touch liver area, (AND WE DON’T!!!) liver gets the loosened toxins and hurts like a TOOTH ACHE the next day!

So GET YOUR LICENSE, read every book at library, at healthfood store, while you stand there, make notes. "EFFLEURAGE is this, SHIATU is that, Swedish Massage the other." YOU DO NOT have to graduate massage school you know. This isn’t brain surgery.

For THE TEST that needs passing learn the FEMUR vs tibia bone. Also LOCATION of THE lymph glands which you never press hard at all! They bruise and that’s why they hide in back of knee, inside of arm, armpit.etc.. throat, And learn the major muscles, cuz city test is famously rudimentary. Not knowing what the FEMUR is will NOT be a problem. 

If you get tired of plain old massage, get a biz card, saying “PSYCHIC LUGGAGE? TANTRUM YOGA, Dr. Art Janov’s famous PRIMAL SCREAM, or EMOTIONAL RELEASE WORK, (click on that URL for an explanation) CLEARING THE AURA of PAST PSYCHIC SCARS 50$” and when you build up a practice where more folks want your services a day than YOU HAVE ARMS....then go up to 75$...

And get a second biz card reading “FEELING YOUR YEARS? REJUVENATING, TOXIC-CLEARING MASSAGE, ladies only. 50$. Same deal. Segue to 75$ when in demand. Do a PAMPHLET & say ‘rolfing level shiatsu and light shiatsu both available. (Nerve meridian work,) and explain what PRIMAL SCREAM EMOTIONAL RELEASE IS!  Or RUN GESTALT processes. Get 150$ an hour.

When your client list is full, up the price. At that point, old favorite clients pay their same old $50! Maybe but new ones do not know about that lower price so for them, it's 75! Your card is switched to read $75. So I'd print them out on card stock on a PC. Cut them out. Do a sprig of leaves w. green marker....and a daisy or something. There’s card stock available at PC store. Color or black and white ink.

WITH a warm touchy feely career like MASSAGE it's comforting to know your therapist has made a handmade little GIRLIE card. NOT a cold professional person but a flower child card of some sort. 

Massage is a high paying career. You can hide the money from the IRS, under the massage table. (cough!) And hey, you don’t even need a massage table. Put ladies on a towel on the floor, much easier to press with your full weight. YOU CAN ruin your back working on a table that’s hip height! Don’t even think of it. They couldn’t pay you enough. It’s tiring! You and a few gal pals share the cost of the video, practice on one another and a fountain of money will run to your door, every hour on the hour all day long forcing you to eat light and strong, meaning proteins with dark greens, orange and red fruit between meals, raw, freshly expressed juices.

Start now on the diet part, on the finding clients, no hurry. Move slow. Build to a profitable start. THEN into hyperdrive but hey at some time or other,you are going to have to quit the YUKKIE JOB!




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