A SUCCESS IN LOVE  FREE TRAINING AND WEBSITE reader told  me that she wanted to be like Mother Teresa one day, and run a planetary charity. Just one problem.  She knew that she was often petty. She asked me how she could smooth out her character. My answer would be: TARGET SPECIFICS when they come up, and be able  to I.D them instantly! Then PUSH THE DUMP button.

RAGE - RAGE is like a fire that wraps around your face, you get HOT, YOU CAN FEEL yourself snorting fire. YOU WANT TO KILL that other person. Or get back at them with an equal stab. IF YOU FEEL RAGE, instantly put yourself in the other chair, BE the LAWYER for the offender. Say to your LOWER SELF, the angry one....'HE only did that thing, committed that offense...because he was just trying to survive and make a living as well as the next guy, as well as he could.' All thieves or fornicators, cheats, shoplifters in the halls of love, all violent men or criminals and or even MURDERERS aren't really DEMONS they're just lazily doing what they're doing ---cuz they don't know how to get creative in a better way." That allows you to lose the rage. HAVE COMPASSION for how stupid that self-centered infant is! And let it go. Get off it and get away from that person because he can become a demon, spreading misery

If you see yourself WALKING AROUND with rage, FURY and edginess, be certain your EGO has been STUNG and it's very personal with you. HOW DARE HE DO THAT TO ME is the central feeling. Honey, you were not the target! (Great book by LAURA HUXLEY, find it on abe books for a buck) "YOU ARE NOT THE TARGET." read it if you really want to stop being all triggers and become a saint.

EGO - HUMILITY is a good quality. Undervalued in today's SOCIETY. On the other hand, EGO is a real problem for its owner, being all bristley like a porcupine. NOBODY can get near you long! YOu're throwing SPINES all
the time.

FOR INSTANCE …Here's an ego-affronting situation. A pretty gal pal wears a good cashmere sweater and carelessly says to you, 'sorry you have to wear those stupid wool things, sorry you can't have cashmere too, I guess you're poor.' YOU ARE HORRIFIED. SHOCKED. YOU compulsively RUN to the store, see that the cashmere turtleneck is l00$. Now, say YOUR MOTHER needs the hundred for rent, but you go buy cashmere turtleneck cuz your EGO is killing you! IT's like a bug eating your stomach out! YOU HAVE to stop the pain at any price! THAT WAS EGO AFFRONTED. Learn to identify which things stimulate your ego. AND learn how to smoothe out the frizz in your feelings with some CONDITIONER! LIke saying to yourself ..to your reflection in the mirror, "your purple wool sweater is absolutely gorgeous. Aren't you glad you could buy it for .50c at a garage sale and give $99.50 to your MOM for the rent! You wear that sweater in sainthood! It will bring you such luck when you wear it!

WOUND- NOW, let's change the scenario. Imagine that a close, dear friend says 'your purple sweater is ugly and that BIG BUTTERFLY embroidered on it is totally tasteless!. Is that your taste? ICK! Your taste is awful." THAT IS WOUND. You care for, depend on, even love that friend. You care about her feelings and perceptions and you adore that sweater with the big butterfly on your chest, just love it. Cuz you love butterflies. SHE finds it UGLY?? YOU ARE TOTALLY WOUNDED! That is not ego. YOUR PAL has wounded you. A little beam of painful light has entered your dark universe and you can read the smoke in it. It says, “that friend is not kind, she acts out on others, maybe to satisfy inner anguish. MAYBE cruelty is a balm to her inner emptiness. WHAT IS IT? MYSTERY HERE. A wound is leveled UNCONSCIOUSLY from a cruel spot in another. WOUNDS don't arrive by accident.”

You protest, you say 'I love butterflies. They symbolize transformation”. The friend insists, tries to program your vision, "You can't see it but I'm your friend I'm telling you that butterflies are CORNY and tasteless totally STUPID! And they're all over your emails and your bank checks too and that's stupid! Makes you look like the corny fruitcakes that send cyber-hugs around the net." Your jaw drops when you hear that. In the spirit of seeking an upgrade, you almost tend to give your Butterfly Sweater to Salvation army but trust the GOD within you. IF YOU really listen to the Devil outside, i.e. HER, YOU REALLY are being tutored by A JERK.

INSTEAD, let the wound this Devil has whipped across your soft butterfly loving heart TUTOR you to forever after, dodge that 'so called friend.'. WOUND is telling you, we have a pal here who's floundering, drowning. YOUR "sadism' meter is getting a read out on her. (There are two ends of spectrums here, sadists and masochists. You want to look up those words in a dictionary. MOST of us live in a middle and are drawn to neither extreme. Some people 'get off' being a little EXTREME. She is one of them. SHe is careless with her flapping lips. She has made herself an authority on taste. Anyone who needs to make themself a self-styled authority on something is probably a person who has absolutely no feeling of being anybody and is really reaching.)

LEARN TO IDENTIFY REAL GENUINE BEAUTIFUL HUMILITY - APOLOGIZING to someone you find odious when (if you really were out of line ) is very GOOD FOR THE HUMILITY. APOLOGIZING gratuitously all the time for imagined sins, lacks of politesse might be an insecure trial balloon you do for re-inforcement of some kind. OR it might be self-absement. Those habits should stop entirely But CONFESSING a genuine sin to a friend, who acts as father confessor is GOOD FOR HUMILITY. WAITING for their judgement on what you did is allowing to the universe that you may have been wrong, you're waiting for God's opinion, delivered thru a friend. Using the friend as a channel. THAT's good. MOST people are way smarter than DR. JOYCE! Ever read the LETTERS to the editor? PEOPLE are so smart! MOST are!

DO YOUR OWN, selected EGO KILLERS!  Another ego squelcher. SEEING what is good in others, then PRAISING another person, TELLING them how much you enjoy them, SO GOOD for YOUR humility. You could probably add another ten things to this list and i wish you would as I will rewrite this thing to include them.

WOUND- OK, RAGE is easy. RAGE is the cheap shot. BUT wound is what's really happening when we feel rage. WOUND always hides beneath it. WOUND is the biggie. Generally found a lot more in WOMEN. IN MEN, rage is all they have. THEY NEVER let themselves feel the wound. But we gals, we do. THE WOUND TO THE EGO has to be distinguished from a real wound. WHEN mother leaves you alone as a child. THAT IS a real wound. When boyfriend leaves you alone for a weekend because he's dating another girl on the sly, THAT is a real wound. WHEN MS POSH SNOTTY tells you her sweater is cashmere and yours is wool and in her eyes you look foolish, that wound
is ON YOUR EGO. You can answer from ego and say to her equally snottily, I'd rather wear a LAMB than a goat any day because I am a lamb, a sweet lamb that gives my mother the rent." And walk away leaving her sweating,
shocked and having to grow an inch unexpectedly. Or you can do one better. GET TONS OF SUMPTUOUS sweaters at garage sales! I found a purple wool, long sleeved sweater, soft as cashmere which is so soft you could sleep in it, a glorious cowl neck, BRIGHTEST PURPLE YOU EVER SAW, I literally cannot eat in it that cowl is so big, perfect, at a garage sale for 50c. I can spend 99.50$ on rent! GET THEM at garage sales in  ALL COLORS and say to your bitch friend "still wearing the same old sweater day after day? BUT why get off being a sadist? Except she deserves it!

PRACTICE having NO EGO. THAT means tolerating that she's a sadistic bitch ONLY BECAUSE you say to yourself, THANK YOU GOD for giving me a sign that she's a sadistic bitch! Now, I can keep fifty feet of distance
between us. AND HAVING the will power to honor that perception. Then another tack. IF SHE SLAMS your sweater, you can do garage sales more often. That's a reasonable response.

BUT IF YOU HAVE EGO? Then you gotta go to NORDSTRUMS don't cha? AND POOR MOM doesn't get her rent help. She stresses and dies or loses the house. The UNIVERSE you live in, of which you are custodian,  goes to HELL cuz you had ego! Satan is everywhere that heart isn’t! Or let’s phrase it this way. Satan works through your ego. Your envy, jealousy and rage. If you are all triggers, it’s your job to hammer them flat!

Jean Paul Sarte said in "NO EXIT", "HELL is OTHER PEOPLE." Hell yes! If you're not looking at yourself it sure seems to be!

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

Send this list of EGO SQUELCHERS to other girls! Invite them to visit our main website, the 60 chapter free HOW TO GET LUCKY IN LOVE SEMINAR. What other rudenesses are there? What other ways can we smooth out our character?  Contribute to me, I’ll add it, I am astrology@earthlink.net Anita Sands Hernandez