SOPHIE THE NO-SAYER WRITES TO  THE SOOTHSAYER!

          A reader, audience member, name of 'Sophie' writes the LUCK IN
          LOVE dot com headquarters at ASTROLOGY AT EARTHLINK
          DOT NET with a good question. She has been a student on our
          FREE, SUCCESS IN LOVE LIST a long time. She writes:
          “Hello Anita! I'm tremendously enjoying poring over all your tips and
          wisdom --has been  gained. I understand becoming and embodying
          the goddess, becoming a beacon and changing to become
          kind...etc. I still need clarification on the marriage part. Why do
          you see marriage to be so important for a gal's life? Is it necessary?”

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          Sophie. Let’s talk about alternatives to marriage and whether they
          are satisfying or not. FIRST PROFESSIONAL WOMEN: ONE
          WOMAN in 1000 can make an exciting glamorous career out of
          her COLLEGE DEGREE. 999 hit a glass ceiling and get knocked
          out. They dog paddle for the rest of their years. At 65 they retire
          to an empty apartment and a bottle.

          NEXT: TRAILER PARK GIRLS: One girl in a thousand can
          make a decent career without a college degree. JULIA Roberts is
          one. From high school to 20 mil a pic. JFK JR's wife, worked at
          a Manhattan designer's picked him up. FEW gals without college
          can do much, maybe one or two, the other 998 or 999 do
          embarrassing work of some kind. They move from job to job and
          on to SOCIAL SECURITY (if the Administration survives, which
          many say it cannot) SSA will hopefully pick up the rest of their
          life after age 65 and give them a 'fixed income.' If you retired
          today it would be about 1000$ a month. TRY LIVING ON THAT!

          Now let's go back to the first group of PROFESSIONALS! OF
          ALL THE WOMEN who SPENT a hundred grand at very least to
          take those big college degrees and went on to TURN them into
          lucrative careers, you will find ONE IN ONE THOUSAND who
          can also have a baby with a loving husband and raise the child to be
          normal -- most likely with the aid of a granny and nanny.

          THE OTHER 999 highly trained, high earning career girls follow
          unpredictable tangents. They marry, get pregnant, and spend a tub
          of money on household help so they can keep the career. Nannies
          are not loving, the kids get screwed up, the gal loses the
          HUSBAND or aborts to keep HUBBY AND JOB only she still
          loses the husband cuz she's frankly TENSE!

          IF A PROFESSIONAL woman actually prevails in baby making,
          she needs surrogate MOMS. If she’s at work all day, she will end
          up with a major screwed up kid. SHE WILL lose serious
          momentum in her precious career. EVEN WITH GRANNY
          NANNY, she will end up like a tired circus juggler, attracting
          disease, depression or madness and then the kid grows up and
          kicks-in as truly dysfunctional it's the cherry on a big, sagging
          rotten TRAGIC SOAP OPERA of a cake.

          BACK TO PROFESSIONALS: Envision one thousand women
          graduating with degrees. SEE that ONE who is making it to the top
          in the corporate, entertainment or business world. SHE did not
          have husband or kid, I assure you. She's a guy in pumps and skirts.
          She's one in a million, too. YOU MAY BE THAT GAL, SOPH!
          Clear headed, sues the bastards if they discriminate sexually. OR
          harass sexually.

          Let's look at THE OTHER 999 women of 1000 grads. THESE
          gals also have perfectly fine MBA's or degrees. They hit a glass
          ceiling and are exploited by powerful, rich men who keep them in
          a kind of fuck-free but quasi-sexual ENTHRALLDOM. Like a dog
          in a pen tortured by smelling the meat coming from the cookhouse
          and only getting tossed bones. THERE Is a good ole boys club
          which gives token lip service to these girlie boys. ‘Here honey
          have a bone on us.’

          IMAGINE the BROKEN LIVES of all these females with
          MBA's who make it to the top and have to take a few decades of
          being tied to the corporation by a leash and fed bones. SOME
          SUE, some take it. Some drink. Some revenge themselves on men
          by writing novels. Some turn to women.

          BUT I'll bet that one gal in that PROFESH group can find a way to
          win. SIX FIGURE salary, stock options, her own condo or big
          house w. garden and staff. IMAGINE that ONE of these 999
          frustrated females also is gorgeous and MARRIES a POWERFUL
          MAN. I mean she hangs with her own assassins all day, the
          cookhouse boys, it could happen that some female exec keeps a
          smile on her face, is a good sport and actually marries a CEO...

          SUDDENLY, THIS ABYSS OPENS before her and she has to
          choose the side she wants to be on: CONTINUE to work in a
          corporation where your hubby is having his own political battles?
          Where it's assumed you get quid pro quo cuz your MRS CEO?
          ARE you a liability to the man you love? OR do you GO home TO
          THE 18 room MANSION and replicate?

          DO YOU KNOW what a sacrifice it would be for these top ladies
          to do anything feminine with their life? Like DROPPING OUT OF
          the corporation and HAVING A BABY or running a planet-wide
          charitable business like IMPORT/EXPORT for the good of third
          world or inner city artisans. She could drop out for a few years.
          But THESE women who fought to educate, climb to the top of the
          FOOD CHAIN and are AT THE TOP OF their game and also at the
          top of the CHRISTMAS tree cannot leap down! They are stuck at
          the top, going against the biological grain. THEIR minds say do
          not leave the 400 thousand dollar salary! THEIR HEARTS and
          emotions are pulling them another way....babies, home. garden.
          They get torn in half by the dualistic universe they created for
          themselves, ritzy though it be.

          The brain is smart, rational a computer cranking out the $$$ signs
          saying 'YOU GOT VERY HIGH UP! STOCK OPTIONS WILL BE
          10 MILLION this year alone) meanwhile their bodies are buffeted
          by the horns of MEN who really resent them, secretly hate them,
          gossip about them jealously, slander them and will do everything
          they can to see the good ole boy's club prevails and these chicks
          cannot make it into the inner circle even when they marry one of
          the members. So they are being pushed out of the corporation.
          BABIES seem a nice retreat. Comfy.

          WAIT A MINUTE, one more necessary mental picture here.
          THOUSANDS OF WOMEN were cracking books in college for 8
          yrs to get that degree in law, or more than 8 yrs if you count
          internship for medicine, or just 4 years or 6 for an MBA....think of
          this amt of work, wasted (I know I do every time some 25 yr old
          kid gets shot to death in L.A .. that huge lifetime of STUDY
          wasted,)... and if at any point one of the book-cracking maidens
          wants to fall in love, marry, give her life up to a man and family,
          she has to look at her parent's sacrifices to put her thru college,
          the actual 8 yrs time spent cracking books and walk away from that
          career JUST to have a baby? OR have a nanny and a granny
          watching infants who may never bond with their own Mom cuz she
          comes in at night tired?

          FEW WOMEN CAN walk away from the corporation and give up
          a long, costly education. FEW WOMEN can tolerate being
          bruised at work when alternatives like lovely home life, slow
          cooking pot roast and babies allure them.

          UNDER THESE circumstances, I as an l8 yr old girl (we’re
          pretending, here,) would have a darn hard time going into a costly
          education. CUZ who wants to say 'no' to marriage love and babies.

          But SOPHIE if you are wondering why the hell you would want to
          even marry in the first place, hey more power to you! GO FOR
          THE EDUCATION!

          SOPHIE GOES ON TO SAY: "with regards to keeping good
          company: I've had the blessings of meeting wonderful men... 2 in
          particular. I KNEW if I had said yes to the relationship... they
          would be very good to me. At the same time, I knew how strong
          their feelings were for me, but all I felt was flattery and
          thankfulness for their love... and nothing else."

           OKAY... Tell me, was your MOTHER a working MOTHER,
           SOPHIE? You seem very emotionally contained.

          "Yes I am contained. My mother worked. And these men,  I didn't
          have the same feelings they had for me and so I
          felt it was unfair for them to be in a relationship with someone (me) so
          unenthusiastic... so I said no. Don't they, deserve girls who'll
          adore them as well? or wouldn't I be leading them on/using them if
          I had said yes? And perhaps break their hearts when I do leave the
          relationship if I do?”

         YOU ARE DEFINITELY a gal who keeps her powder dry. The
          type who should go for an MBA/ LAW degree, medical degree.

          IF YOU ARE GORGEOUS, tall, you would enter the corporative world
          and could marry money with minimal college education like
          a Master in Fine arts might do. If you like YOUNG men, you go to
          architecture school marry a fellow student. If you like old men,
          STUDY stocks at EXTENSION you as an uneducated woman can
          always meet and marry someone wealthy. Or work at a Banking  firm.

          From what you’ve told me, I realize that you have a gift. YOU DO
          NOT CRAVE that BLISS gals get from MEN. That hit of being DRUNK
          on love.You have not yet had a PASSIONATE crush??? You don't
          know what love is, right??? I gotta know the details about your
          personality! Scholastically, what did you excel at? Was your mother a true
          career girl? Family background? Give me a thumbprint bio on yourself

          I can analyze the subtext of your bio so could any psychologist or counselor
          Things that matter are, 'what is your education so far.TALENTS you showed as
          you grew up, sewing? Design? Cooking? Math? Science?

          Your path so far ... the not loving 2guys who care for you....is very normal.
          One basically  has to date l00 frogs to find one prince. Most Girls don't have
          enough dating volume. ONCE you read all the SUCCESS IN LOVE
          Chapters  you will get the dating volume! IT takes a thousand NO's
          to get to that one yes.

          Girls who are better at saying ‘NO’ faster and more often get to
          yes faster than their YES-SAYING SISTERS! SO you are a
          NO-Sayer and that’s good. Now, give the other 98 frogs a chance.
          First dates are lunch, at least 3 times. You will know if he is worth going
          out to dinner with. DO NOT GO TO DINNER if you haven't had 3 lunches.
          There are reasons. You shine by day when you are not thinking 'this bloke is
          going to leap on me for buying dinner.' You put a lid on it at night.

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