THE GA*RDENI*NG PAGE
Ya
got a lawn? If you do, DUMP IT FAST cuz it sez something awful about you. READ the “ IN PRAISE OF NO FRONT LAWN
(*an article you can CLICK on…) YOUR GREEN LAWN tells us that you’re a
bourgeois twit and you’re spending a
ton of money on feeding, cutting and watering it, poisoning the environ with
all the high maintenance chemicals it needs and wasting money also spending ten
times what you need to spend on fruit and veggies when you could grow
everything including the gas in your tank. If you had a still to distill
grains.
Lawns
are an abomination we inherited from the Tudors who played a lot of croquet.
Lawns are a frivolous vanity these days, now, in the time of Cholera. The
Millennium. The Century of RECESSION, FAMINE, INFLATION, Global warming &
Chemical Ecodangers.
Let me
tell you a thing about lawns. They are NOT eco-friendly. Lawns eat up way way
more water than a vegie garden and orchard and they give you nothing but
sterile soil. They require you to waste vast quantities of money on the
fertilizers required to keep them green. Get rid of the thing. Replace it with
an orchard and a vegie garden! (Fence the front yard while you’re at it and get
drip emitters. My neighbor teaches EMITTER TECH at Pierce Agricultural College
a few miles from here. His front and back yards have this thin, black plastic
conduit pipe going down every line of growing things. An hour of turned on
pipes a day at the right time, (being A.M. and chosen by the computer robot, he
has nothing to do with it,) and he’s home free and I do mean free as water goes right into every plant’s area or
pot so it ends up being much less cost than me with my hose doing an hour in
front, an hour in back, daily, and I end up paying $1.50 a day for water. . See
the deal is, this method is economical, barely uses any water at all as you’re
targeting the roots with the emitter tips.
Now
is the time to turn over the friggin lawn, rot it down into good soil, grow eat
organic and have a good life. WHO NEEDS APPLES at 2$ a pound? Not you. You
can juice your crop all autumn and never spend a time on BOTTLED stuff from
concentrate. It doesn't matter what season it is when you read this, if it's
winter, summer, spring or autumn. TAKE OUT THE LAWN. OR use part of it as a
lawny path. Mark it with spray paint in meandering serpentines. READ GARDEN LAYOUT. You
will need an oval pointed tip shovel,a flat shovel, a can of spray paint to
mark the edges of paths, a hand trowel
of solid steel, not tin or plastic cuz they bend as soil is damn hard
when we start a new garden.
HOW TO GROW TIGHTLY SPACED FOOD-BEARING FRUIT TREES, VINES, VEGETABLES when you FOODSCAPE THE AVERAGE CITY LOT – ANSWER: THE GROVE EFFECT!
Walk the
vacant lot planning your curving, meandering paths. Mark them or spray them.
Start building your DRY STACK concrete edging or lumber and stakes. Keep the
paths narrow. You aren’t going to mow them, but if you want grass on paths,
measure your mower. I use plain dirt on
all paths and all summer long, I life off rich soil that erodes to it, with a MULCHER VULTURE.
Create
your compost pile as you will need SOIL at low cost, or free. A HUGE TRUCK FULL OF MUSHROOM SPOOR is best soil
ever, and the mushroom grower has to get rid of it every two weeks. So offer to
haul it away free. Go to market, find out who's growing mushrooms in your area,
phon/ email them then drive there. A few truck load trips and you're ready to
grow. Hey, if it’s summer when you’re at the super market, ask produce
man for all the bags of CORN HUSKS that are on site. Load your trunk, take home
and compost them. He usually has them stuffed into plastic bags the size of a
man.
At
home, use soil amendments, the rotted corn husks from the super market in
summer, (bags high as your chest twice a day, easy) laid out, buried, are ready
in three months flat. Rot them down with a few trash cans full of manure, or if
you have a truck …a load of cow manure from a local dairy, with enough HEAT in
the rotting process that the weed seeds die. Compost your heap with a lot of
green leaves and grass so that it gets heated up. Bags of already rotted down
manure at 88c for a huge 2 cubic foot bag are cheap enough but they do not heat
up the pile. One great thing to add to your soil is a Bale of peat. Biggest one
at the store, about 14$. It must be added wet, so have a bucket handy. Add Sand
so that the peat won’t retain too much liquid. Old fashioned cat litter is a
great addition. Makes the soil very
friable, even clay like mine. BUT remove turds. The urine is the best part,
really fertilizes! It is pure urea, just like commercial urea costing l0$ a
bag. They say pregnant women should never garden in the soil there after, if
you use cat litter due to toxiplasmosis virus. Plan accordingly
Now, You
will need some seeds from the store. I like the 99c store as they sell 6
packets for a dollar. But friends’ gardens have all kinds of seed pods
maturing. ONLINE lists do, too. I give away seed. THE SEED LIST. If you
examine a plant, you will see where it is in its seed producing cycle. Wait til
the pod forms and dries somewhat..
You will need all the good potting soil you can get for your seedlings which will be placed in flats. Ground soil isn't good enough. POTTING SOIL is way too expensive 5$ for two cubic feet ! So get mushroom spoor or make your own soil in a compost pile. Flats are available at garden centers. They will give them to you if you ask. Get to know the clerks there. Or use whatever apple box is around. Line them with anything, plastic is fine if you cut little holes for drainage. Burlap works, just as long as soil can not fall out of the holes. But you want some holes, little ones for extra water to drain out of the flat so plants do not rot. The irrigation must escape from some of the small holes so soil won't get sour! Sour soil rots the seeds.
You will
be using the extant beds outdoors, creating meandering paths, PRIMER ON LAYOUT here.
You’ll be adding enrichments to the dirt in beds, not under the paths! While
you can buy dirt, by the truck load, or from a MUSHROOM producer, who has to
throw away a truck of spawn a week, don't buy it. Create your own. ADD stuff to
the yard soil. Seek out compost, that soft, fluffy, black soil you have in
little old crannies in the yard as opposed to the brown, dry, lumpy soil.. The
best compost is found under pinetrees, as the needles rot into acidic
humus. I don't see the sense in paying good money for dirt. You can manufacture
dirt! You should really start a compost pile. Use natural compost under bushes
for the time being, picking out the sow bugs as they eat seedlings but while
the seedlings are growing, which takes a while, you will be making compost
piles all over the garden. PILING trash, leaves, cat litter, kitchen garbage in
each mountain. Plant your seeds in the available compost that's already there,
probably enough for ten flats, start your garbage piles for September
planting.. then kick back and read these articles on
FINE, ONLINE
REFERENCE LIBRARY FOR
GARDENERS!
ANALYZE, are you a CITY GARDENER or do
you want to BE SELF SUFFICIENT in the COUNTRY?
Do you want to increase your house’s value with an EPIC GARDEN?
WHAT
WOULD IT TAKE TO LIVE IN THE COUNTRY
on a FEW ACRES of ORCHARDS?
HOW
TO FIND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL VILLAGE OR TOWN IN CALIFORNIA or any state.
If
your RURAL LOT has pine trees, imagine this! Hand Built Rustic home!
HOW can my family and a few other
families share a
farm for annual vacation getaways?
What about Local Regulations about
LAND-USE, non-farm dwellings, non-ag-use?
How to
pick a state? Easy. One with no
state income tax or Sales tax!
THE
EASY WAY TO GARDEN
STARTING A GARDEN
THE FIRST PROBLEM is INCREASING
TREND TOWARD WATER BEING RATIONED! EASY WAY
AROUND THOSE LAWS/ CODES is DRIP EMITTERS.
SNAILS are the NEXT
PROBLEM with BABY SEEDLINGS if you don’t use a raised TABLE
PLANTING IN JUNE
THE ROOT CELLAR – What did farmers know? That the lights could go out?
PARTYING IN THE GARDEN IN JUNE MEANS KNOW YOUR BITING
INSECTS.
PLANTING in SEPTEMBER, which is the SECOND
SPRING, we get every year, in warmer zones at least.
A MONTH-BY-MONTH BLOW-BY-BLOW PAGE ON GARDEN CHORES
I am being EVICTED
from a RENTED HOME! What do I do with my GARDEN? Anita tells you “been
there, done that” & Boy, oh boy, you’re gonna LOVE the answer!
ANSWER to the MORTGAGE MELTOWN, A tear
drop trailer and COUNTRY
ROADS
THE PATH TO DOING A GARDEN FOR FREE.
FIND your own Cutting Replication Gardening tips. GOOGLE WORDS “replication” Plants and Cuttings” Putting a + sign between the words. MAYBE add specific genus.
SPRINGTIME HAS SPRUNG! What do I do now?
BUILDING A CORD HOUSE
Need stronger
motivation? What about this? Apocalypse is nigh. WHAT is in your FRIDGE?
PANTRY? Not much, right? Well at the first sign of a problem you would need
three weeks of food minimum. It can be in your garden, ALIVE, waiting to be
eaten! Or in barrels with dry ice as in grains, pulse. A huge yard dedicated to
growing food year ‘round is gonna get you thru what MIGHT be headed our way!
VISIT THE SURVIVAL INDEX and the FUTURE INDEX
WHY stop at a free garden? You can
build a wholefreebie HOME.
THE JOY OF MUD
FLOORS
Paranoia
Acres. A study in THE REASONS TO
leave the city.
CHORES FOR JAN, FEB, MARCH
TREES = EQUAL= JAM! The THRILL OF
THE ORCHARD.
NEIGHBORS COOPERATING TO TURN LAWNS INTO FOOD PRODUCING GARDENS.
URBAN
APARTMENT DWELLERS TAKING OVER
VACANT LOTS!
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HOW TO DUMP THE CITY and MOVE TO THE COUNTRY
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HOW TO MAKE A FARM EARN
MONEY
What talents will
the Gentleman Farmer convert to cash most easily? The late MASTER TIV TELLS us what
he thinks.
PANNING FOR GOLD, FUN, HEALTHY,
VERY HIGH PAYING.
Before you leave town, Dept of Rehab
will pay you to study up on the dozen trades you’ll need out on the
farm
WHY WOULD my family WANT TO LIVE IN BumFuck Idaho?
Out in the middle of Nowhere?
What are the tricks of Surviving in
the middle of NOWHERE? HERE are the SECRETS OF COUNTRY LIVING. Is nowhere
safer than the CITY? YES!
RURAL SURVIVALISM
HOW COULD ONE CREATE A SAFE COZY FARM?
Can I build houses on my land? Build with Strawclay It’s dirt-cheap!
You have enough of it lying around fer gawdsakes!
CREATING
an INEXPENSIVE RURAL HOME
BUYING DEMOLISHED ARCHITECTURALFACTS, VERY LOW cost & VERY beautiful!
MICKY
MOUSE THE CEMENT
AND SAVE ALL KINDS OF MONEY! Secrets of a Master builder!
CISTERN
TECHNOLOGY 101 …ENDLESS h20
HOW TO BUY A BIG OLE FARM, YOU AND TEN
PALS, GET AROUND ZONE LAWS BY CREATING INDIVIDUAL, Agrarian “WORKER” VILLAS
for each FAMILY in your COMMUNE AND do it as a non profit tax exempt
foundation!
REALIZE that RURAL LIFE CAN BE ROUGH
LIVING. A Farmer’s Warning.
I’m just a pretty girl,
how can I get a farm?
CALIFORNIA
DREAMING.
SOLAR ENERGY, FOR
FREE
THE ACRES WEBSITE, ORGANIC TECH, Advanced
class
BASIC TRICKS OF FARM LIVING one must confront, learn to handle
LITTLE TRICKS FOR INEXPENSIVE RURAL HOME HEATING
FARMER/BUILDER TELLS US how he got his
HOME out of the TRASH!
GARAGE SALES AT FARMS NEARBY provide WOOD. Farmer tells all.
BUILDING OUT OF ADOBE, VERY
CHEAP, LASTS FOREVER, NATURALLY COOL!
WHAT
REAL CHANCE DOES A CITY SLICKER HAVE IN THE COUNTRY?
CROPS TO GROW ON YOUR NEW FARM:
Grab a bag at the Healthfood store and
plant MILLET and QUINOA
DIG A ROOT
CELLAR. GORGEOUS, USEFUL, NO NEED FOR ELECTRICITY to keep your food cold. Then
learn to make your own
cheese! Easy and lucrative!
Grow PROTEIN (just in case the
country has an emergency)
LUCRATIVE CASH CROPS. BERRIES -- GARLIC. ---- SESAME. ------ GINSENG HERBS
MAKE YOUR OWN CHARCOAL out of HARD WOOD,
PRUNINGS.
GARDEN AND
FARMING PROBLEMS, CHALLENGES
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SERFS, TENANTS OR WORKERS? Who DO I LET IN? THE TALE of HARV’s HIPPIE HAVEN FARM
A BETTER IDEA, 35 families you adore, in a Limited
Partnership. Together, they BUY THE FARM. It’s done as an ANONYMOUS CORPORATION
535.A.D. How Krakatoa punched the planet’s lights out for 18 months. Agriculture
failed, almost everybody on planet Earth died.
THE
EMERGENCY SURVIVAL SITE. Everything you wanted to know about FEEDING YOURSELF during
a ‘LIGHTS OUT” or on NOAH’s ARK. Like… FOR YEARS ON END. Solar ovens, growing
fish in a barrel. You will LOVE this site!
How YELLOW STONE could do the
same to AMERICA!!! Caldera ready to blow!
THINK IN TERMS OF GROWING SPROUTABLES.
(mung beans, alfalfa seeds, ) in case that happens
TO BEE OR NOT TO BEE, that is
the Question. Second article on how Bees are dying off, threatening all AGRICULTURE.
What does this mean for you? BEELESS IS TREELESS! No seeds will grow inside
fruit without BEES? But…DO NOT WORRY. YOU CAN PROVIDE YOURSELF WITH HEALTHIER BEES
than bee ranchers have. The secrets!!
REASONS to THINK TWICE ABOUT
GOING TO THE COUNTRY (the downside!)
THE FUTURE INDEX & THE SURVIVAL INDEX The COMPLETE INSTRUCTION GUIDE
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SPECIFIC UNUSUAL PLANTS
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YOU BACK TO ATLANTIS and the Lost Continent of Mu. Millions of
years old! Often called SAGO, growing them is NOT
HARD TO MASTER! Why wouldn’t every home want a few? SEED AVAILABLE! FREE!
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CONSPIRACY WEBSITE