In this increasingly competitive, strife-torn, nervous-making world, romance and family life have a hard time flowering and fruiting. The climate is so DARK down here now, the economy so ruthless… that tension will stress and kill anything as tender, vulnerable and organic as an emotional life. Add to that the toxic overgrowth that we inherited inside our hearts and minds, from parents who had the same damn stresses and you get a murky atmosphere where nothing fruits or flowers.
You want love and family life and you want to be clean, whole, relaxed, loving, clear so that you can attract that primary relationship, right? Or maybe you want to be so shiny bright that bosses, career matters go well. In either case, it becomes paramount to clean up one’s HEART AND MIND. We are going to give you the GESTALT Q & A that you and a pal can do, to run a clearing process on you, one that heals, banishes scars. One which defuses all triggers. Right now, you are a triggered being. Certain things hit your mind grid and you explode into automatic and habitual modes of response. You may not even see it, that’s how bad it is, but the darkness around YOU prevents love, career luck from happening.
How can one possibly get a therapist and run a ‘CLEARING’ process on ourselves for less than 200$ an hour? The answer is, It can be done without a paid therapist! Yep, this isn’t ROCKET science. FIND A CHUM and DO total emotional housecleaning FOR FREE! You can in an hour, not only clear yourself and your friend but both of you learn to make a living DOING GESTALT or at very least, get yourselves CLEARED of inner turbulence, memories, that darkness, that sour climate that repels luck and love.
With the help of a friend, using the BUDDY SYSTEM, and the GESTALT clearing process, there is a way to open up your hidden heart and pull out the vipers that have hidden there for so many years. Make the demons that live in your heart and mind writhe in pain, scream, and when by their screaming you locate them, YANK them out. Use famed Dr. Fritz Perls Q&A sessions. Which this article describes in detail or use TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS, the textbook is online. Study it, Practice in a group, using buddy system, pairing off to do Q&A.
People are hugely benefited by the focused reverie of GESTALT and the ‘running of emotional processes. Patients and Seekers can’t just lie on a couch and do mind trips while Sigmund asks another dry-as-granola question. Along came Janov and Fritz Perls who showed us that we “walking wounded” must cut the outer chest, open the heart, spill our guts, go back right into the THROE of that long buried pain, weep it out all over again and then, when the heart is clean, you close the little door and you will be sunny for weeks on end. Cuz the boil within dried up.
You will find that Gestalt Therapy gives you a LABELLED, mounted collection of the little vipers that caused you problems, which (when you were full of sour power,) DROVE people away from your door. If things didn’t work for you in love, know it has to do with past angers, past scars. The label on this or that dead viper will read ‘resentment of Dad, Mom Sis. ’ Another now-labeled dead viper reads ‘I thought I had been SCREWED OVER, abandoned. My parent really was a zombie with me so I look for zombies.’ And so on. My husband was a zombie. This person was unfeeling. Or…maybe in relationship to your own children, YOU are the zombie.
Whatever the stripe of sour power, if you open the heart with the knife of Gestalt, you’ll find it and yank it out. That is what this work does, it digs in the heart. Dr. FREDERICK PERLS pioneered THIS GESTALT THERAPY WORK. The PERLS group left almost nothing written except one book “GESTALT THERAPY” by FREDRICK PERLS that is a buck at ABE BOOKS USED . BUY ONE. Most GESTALT therapists charge an arm and a leg, few wrote books, but read the HISTORY OF GESTALT at very end, and you can find other authors, listed there, their titles. ABE BOOKS, ab uck a book used, that’s the way to go.
AND of course TEACHERS at colleges (and their students) are mainly what’s left of the living lineage. THEY do not leave many tracks. But I was hired as typist for a student of a PERLS STUDENT and I KEPT her HOMEWORK! Worse, I understood it! WORST OF ALL I am publishing it here!
OK. let’s get down to work. Make another copy of this article. No colors, Black on White. Erase the preamble words up at top, ^ and just print out the QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS BELOW –V- in large print so your BUDDY can read the questions off to you and do the cleansing Q&A right away! (PS. It works better without mind stimulants. Try no coffee, so your body is low key. )
HOW TO ASK QUESTIONS OF A BLOCKED PERSON AND GET THE BLOCKAGE OUT.
A SAMPLE ‘RUN’ is given below. Mind you, this takes TWO PEOPLE. Someone has to read off the questions while the other person is in a reverie, focusing on feelings, very relaxed, ready to scream, weep or rage if taken to this depth by the question.
TRACKING-QUESTION FOR FACILITATING THE OWNING AND ACCEPTING OF PROJECTIONS,
(which occur when you blame another for damage to you)
1. Let's work on the PHYSICAL LEVEL first: Tell me, with that person damaged you? WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT WAS THE TRIGGERING EVENT? We are going to attempt to be specific. To get specific memories. When we finish with this event, we may study another event or person but always with this specificity, if possible.
Example: In my relationship and communication with my father, I feel he is sometimes insensitive to my needs and does not cherish me as would like him to. (this may be your MOTHER, lawyer, trust fund executor, sister, Lover, Husband, child, BOSS but we can’t do them all here, so we chose FATHER. Adapt this to your own needs.)
2. Let's move to the EMOTIONAL LEVEL: HOW DO you FEEL about what happened? WHAT IS your REACTION to this event? Example: I feel hurt, stuck and angry like I'll never be able to get what I want in this relationship---the support and love I feel I deserve.
3. MENTAL LEVEL: WHAT ARE your THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS SITUATION? ARE ANY IRRATIONAL BELIEFS PRESENT? MAKING ANY JUDGEMENTS AND IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY? I believe if my father really loved me, he would be more sensitive to my emotional needs that he would really have been there for me all my life---protecting and cherishing me. My belief is that he does not love me, otherwise he would act differently toward me. I judge him as uncaring and myself as unworthy.
4. SELF LEVEL: ARE YOU IN THE LOVING (unconditional loving, peace and joy) MODE?
No, I am not feeling the peace, love and joy I would like to feel in this relationship.
5. WHAT ARE MY CHOICES?
I can continue to blame him for not being who I want and believe he should be in my life and hold onto my anger and hurt. Or, I can choose to heal myself by working my process and choosing to let go of my anger and hurt by taking responsibility for it, and also through forgiveness of my judgements.
6. AM I WILLING TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND IF SO, WHAT IS MY INTENTION?
Yes, I want to understand what my father's behavior is mirroring back to me so the hurt can be healed. My intention is to heal so I can have more freedom inside myself and not stay stuck in this pattern. My intention is to also be in touch with the deep source of love inside myself that unconditionally loves myself and my father.
7.WHAT IS IT I FIND THE MOST OBJECTIONABLE ABOUT THIS PERSON OR SITUATION?
I dislike that he is not demonstrating the love and cherishing that I feel I deserve and he should be giving me this in this relationship.
8. WHAT IS MY MIRROR REFLECTING TO ME ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MYSELF, (with me inside of me)?
It is reflecting to me that I ignore myself and don't show appropriate action of love and cherishing towards myself. I disregard myself time and time again. I put myself last and fail to take care of my own needs.
9. AM I WILLING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, ACCEPT THIS PATTERN WITHIN MYSELF AND NOT MAKE MYSELF WRONG FOR HAVING IT? (Remember, acceptance does not mean resignation.)
I am willing to take responsibily for this pattern and not judge myself as 'bad' for having it. I accept myself for having 'had' this pattern and am now willing to go deep within myself to give myself the love and support I have been wanting for so long.
10. AM I WILLING TO MOVE INTO COMPASSIONATE SELF- FORGIVENESS? (You may want to place your hand on your heart to assist you in connecting with your own compassion.) I forgive myself for judging myself as....etc.
Yes, I am willing to offer myself this gift of compassion. I forgive myself for judging myself as unworthy of love. I forgive myself for judging myself as insensitive to my real needs. I forgive myself for judging my father as unkind for not loving, cherishing, protecting and understanding me.
11 ARE THERE ANY OTHER JUDGMENTS FOR WHICH I'D LIKE TO FORGIVE MYSELF AT THIS TIME? I forgive myself for judging myself as....
I forgive myself for judging myself as a bad person for feeling angry toward my father. I forgive myself for judging myself as unkind toward myself. I forgive myself for judging myself as stupid for having this pattern so long.
12.WHAT'S PRESENT NOW?
Now, I am wanting to be very present in my loving and let go of the past and let go of judgement in my relationships, release people to love and give as God wants them to and for me to feel kindness toward all, including me.
13. ARE THERE ANY IRRATIONAL BELIEFS I'D LIKE TO IDENTIFY AND UPDATE?
Yes, the belief that my father must behave in a certain way to mean that he really loves me. Also that I am incapable of fully loving myself, that I need love from the outside. My father may really love me even though his actions don't show it the way I'd like them to. Also, I am worthy no matter who loves or doesn't love me and I am capable of loving myself within myself as my essence and spirit are pure love.
14. WOULD I LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE AND APPRECIATE MYSELF?
Yes, I appreciate myself for doing the work of going deep within to heal old patterns. I appreciate my sincerity and compassion in working this process.
15.HOW CAN I APPLY THIS LEARNING IN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS PERSON? I am going to let go of my expectations in this relationship, however affirm what I would like and release it to God. I am also going to move into a more loving cherishing, protecting, understanding relationship with myself because I really want this.
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You will find a SECOND ARTICLE ON GESTALT, RUNNING PROCESSES, by clicking HERE. This is the GESTALT SELF QUESTION Q&A SEQUENCE.
You will find/ click on a great article on HISTORY OF GESTALT. USEFUL as there are other authors, books you can google, find at abebooks.com
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