DATING A NERD VERSUS DATING A HOTTIE :
A Q& A with a real LOVE LIST girl!
QUESTION: I have been seeing (just as friends), for months now, a guy who is totally interested in me and thinks I am the perfect woman for him. He has always been very respectful with me and treated me with propriety. He seems to be the kind of person I should have a serious relationship with ... you know, one of those guys I should be surrounded by... And he is pleasant and polite. BUT, I can't fall in love with him due to slight nerd overtones. Is there a way to help myself feeling romantic with him, or should I just let things go as they go and hope for it one day maybe to click??
ANSWER. Mankind is plagued with the feeling that they have to "NOT JUST STAND THERE, BUT DO SOMETHING! LIKE TRY to fall in love with him. Or Break up with him. That is a madness wired into the impulses, bombarding us at every moment of day and night. Cursed with brains, MANKIND and especially WOMANKIND cannot do what grass can do, just grow, blissfully and not think about what is in your life as if you had a pair of editing scissors in your hands and had to cut LIFE to pieces all the time!
TO a relaxed person, the answer is obvious. GOD SENT HIM FOR SOME REASON of God's OWN -- JUST hang out with the guy with a quiet mind. He takes you to movies and dinners, right? GO! SMILE. If he wants to HOLD your hand, hold it for a minute or as long as you want to. Or, instead, tuck his arm in yours as if he were being courtly and ready to protect you from falling. You don’t have to kiss him goodnight, or if he tries to kiss you, turn your cheek and while he kisses you, give his hand a little, friendly squeeze. Don’t feel you have to KISS HIM GOODNIGHT. If he has organic sensors, he will sense he is not supposed to KISS YOUR EAR and squeeze your breast, and if he tries or just tries to kiss you on the mouth and he's not getting any APPETITE SIGNALS out of you, he might realize that HE DOES NOT TURN YOU ON! But he may have such a sacred love for you that he takes you out anyway with a tiny kiss on the cheek at night's end.
In the holiest spiritual schools and monasteries, monks get taught to see every person as GOD in person. You don't have to go that far though. SEE EVERY MAN as your personal father. As if MOM had called you at 7:45 pm and said, this guy coming, he's your REAL DADDY. OPEN THE DOOR with that thought. Or your long lost brother ---if he's younger, though a smart marriage age girls has no business dating young men. If they turn you on, might as well drop out of the MARRY WELL School.
Of course, we know what turns us on? SOME BACHELOR who has slept with two or three women in the last week, whose saliva has EPSTEIN BARRE chronic fatigue syndrome, or whose seminal fluid contains NON SPECIFIC VAGINITIS BACTERIA which once in us, will ream us out causing us to have ULCERATIONS called pre-cancerous lesions on our cervix. THESE men all die of PROSTATIC CANCER, the number one killer of men as it REAMS their prostate out, too. You cannot tell you have this kind of bacteria by the way. Read. VAGINITIS, HIDDEN MALADY THAT CAUSES CANCER in MEN AND WOMEN!
QUESTION: SCARY! So I CONTINUE TO DATE MY BORING SUITOR?WHY CAN’T I fall madly in LOVE with such a nice guy? Is it pheromones??!!
ANSWER:YEAH RIGHT faint odors rising from his body! GOD NO! It's the head-trip you have. YOU HAVE YEARS OF HEAD TRIP. YOUR IDEAL MAN is BRAD PITT with SKIS, a PORSCHE, and that guy wherever he exists, is doing three gals a week! AND WILL until he's forty. And then the microbes of disaster are already in his scrotum. And they are super contagious!
QUESTION: OK I see your point. Is there a way to help myself feeling romantic with him, or should I just let things go as they go and hope for it one day maybe to click??
ANSWER: WELL YES! A GOOD man who has disposable income for dinner and movies is hard to find these days! IF in addition, his parents belong to a country club and you can meet all kinds of other men there...and then the frosting, you get clients for whatever your cottage industry is, out of his society set... REAL ESTATE home showings, ritzy old lady massage clients at l00$ per hr?
QUESTION: I don't know.... I would really like it if things were working out that way between him and me. He also makes good money (which I have never put as a priority to me)... and, as you can see, that is not my target...
ANSWER: Wait, money is not important? Being Brad Pitt IS???? Last I heard, you wanted to marry and have a baby, you're a clock ticking age girl, if I recall it right. WHO PAYS for YOU TO QUIT YOUR JOB for 9 mos and then RAISE A KID for 6 yrs old til she's in school full time? WELFARE? A guy with a job was on your wish list. NO? Well, BRAD PITT addicted to chicks really IS NOT on your wish list no matter how wealthy BRAD is because he spends it all on RED SPORTS cars to attract women and on those BAR and CAFÉ BILLS to wine and dine’em before he boffs ‘em! Ya know? Addict girls always want addict boys. Count on it. BY WHOM YOU LOVE and become impassioned for, WE SEE WHAT YOU ARE actually MADE OF. SO you try this game, look in the mirror, and ask ‘what am I made of?’ Or make a WISH list of what you value in a man, what TURNS YOU ON. And if a certain je’nai sais quoi is on that list, you’d better figure out what the quoi is because years later when you’re raising quoi-zimoto’s kids you’re gonna pay for it!
QUESTION: SO RUN THIS BY ME AGAIN? You think that in TIME I'll enjoy my nerd friend more, and I don't have to worry about not loving him? And I can keep him around while I’m waiting for Mr. Right?
ANSWER: YES! And don't worry about even if you don’t love him EVER….It’s no biggie. I don't like Brussels sprouts but when I go to a restaurant and get great roast beef and there are Brussels sprouts stuck on the plate, I don't let it get me. LIFE IS ROAST BEEF. You don't have to TOUCH the sidecar dish. You don't have to stick your fork in a Brussels Sprout. They're not that hard to just stare at. They're rather pretty just sitting there.
Maybe you won't enjoy the nerd fully but events are often as important as people you share them with. You and the NERD create events for yourselves. There are other things in life besides the LASER RAY PASSION that FUSES our veins to our bones and burns us to ash. Ralph Waldo Emerson said 'the greatest Lord of all is USE!" Do you wonder what he meant? Maybe, in his frugal day, using a coat until it was threadbare?
Cuz when I use the word USE it means to get USE out of something or someone. There is exquisite USE to a Nerd chum --- I mean a loyal friendly man who because of lowly station demands nothing of you except a small amount of your time. All kinds of ways I can use THAT lovely person who admires me! I'm a raving LEO RISING. I need an audience for new material. Also a lot of broken stuff in the house needs fixing. My nerd pal sanded kitchen door edge, fixed it so the door would firmly lock! Once he used a large hammer to take a huge built in TV out of a gorgeous 70' fruitwood cupboard that ended up as great storage. That half hour hammering the hell out of a tube was so totally memorable. Then there's electronic repair. Yesterday, the headset wire on my KEY telephone turned staticky. A kind and talented young man pulled the wires slightly apart, with his young eyes spotted where plastic covering was chewed by a cat, saw where the inner two wires made contact, tape wrapped that spot, fixing a headset! Saved me a trip to RADIO SHAFT where I'd purchased the thing. He also gave me a handful of money. I told him he was the best son I had ever had. (I no longer attract nerds SO BE GLAD while you have em! Sons are chintzy. )
EXQUISITE USE II for your Friend or brother is a "Getting around buddy." He has Wheels when you often don't. To take you on weekend trips, to exciting places. With him in your life, you can mark up the FRIDAY CALENDAR and say 'why not visit the MONET exhibit that just opened' or "The HONDURAN café got 4 stars, let's find out what SOPES are." In the old days we called that KEEPING COMPANY.
My generation (the sixties,) could 'keep company' for decades and no one expected you to marry. If you see him getting into cerebral stroke territory, just get on board fast cuz you need to have l0 years of marriage under both belts to qualify for his widow's pension. One day less and you won't get it. KEEPING Company to date other people, which bring us to:
EXQUISITE USE III - SPIKE AN ALPHA MALE right where it hurts. It doesn't hurt when you walk into THE PETITE GOURMET for dinner on the arm of an ALPHA male who you know is seeing three other girls, to say 'the lamb is incredible here.'
When alpha male says 'let's go see the New DE NIRO film,' 'Oh I've just seen it. I'm sorry. But I'll see it again as it's terrific. '
OR to say when he proposes a trip to the CARIBBEAN for Easter week you sigh unhappily and say "A Pal and I are going to PARIS, I'm devastated but I can't join you because I can't break my word." ALPHA men love women who are unavailable at times. THEY RESPECT that. And she keeps her WORD? IN his universe, you’re GOD!
MIND you', you'd only want to pull a bachelor head snapper stunt with and TO an ALPHA male who wasn't paying sufficient attention in the first place.
So, the next time your blind date shows up and he’s a nerd, remember what we’re taught in Buddhist Spiritual school: to see every person as GOD in person. You don't have to go that far though. SEE EVERY MAN as your personal father on earth. As if MOM had called you at 7:45 pm and said, this guy coming, he's your REAL DADDY. OPEN THE DOOR with that thought. FLESHAND BLOOD, very dear. or brother if he's young though you have no business dating young men --
THE FINAL word on nerds is this. BILL GATES. Yep! YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY! The day MELINDA GATES said 'yes' to BILL GATES, do you think she was thinking in her head, “jeez, an exciting man didn't come along…..I guess I'll have to marry BILLY?. DAMN THE LUCK! He’s like BRUSSEL SPROUTS! OH well..”
I love you so much Melinda!
IF YOU appreciate the wisdom in THIS ARTICLE, want 120 more like it, go to THE LUCK IN LOVE WEBSITE, a FREE SEMINAR, ONLINE, for girls to be lucky and for women who weren’t so they can meditate on their errors and now, join me in teaching the youngsters. Signed Anita Sands Hernandez, astrology at earthlink dot net