BITCH is a terrible word that MEN use for US GALS when we get strident. It refers to a female dog. Our English language has described female dogs with this word for thousands of years. What happened was this: for thousands of years, a female dog has had an amazing ability to turn on her owner in a second! A bitch can become way MORE SAVAGE at human male incursion to her den than MALE dogs even. And the language recognized it!

FEMALE dogs who have pups truly go bonkers at men. EARLY CAVE MEN must have been totally shocked that a sweet critter whom they fed would suddenly snarl and attack like a killer in ONE SECOND flat if the guys came near the pups!

HUMAN MAN, in total SHOCK, with the 'HOW DARE SHE' going on, switched that word, turning it on us chicks when we got rambunctious. We are like 'bitches.'

SO I truly understand where the male is coming from. He is shocked to learn that the cooing, adorable, gentle pet he has hand-fed suddenly has 'attitude.' I get the derivation of the word. I get the mental pictures of the shocked cave man!

And in pity for the tremulous nerves of male cavemen, in our century, who as Yogi Bhajan once said, have PMS 30 days a month instead of our 5, I have learned to be more suave and catlike when I assert myself. I purr when I assert. Being a TOTAL maniac catlady, I observed female cats and decided that some liquid soft purring vocal sounds would work to mask the opposite, the  aggressiveness of the bitch image. TO MITIGATE the bitter truth. Honey is the homeopathic REMEDY for the female DOG growling, nasty, scary energy.

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, when they start to think 'bitch', and I spot it, I remember. I do what Gurdgieff called 'self-remembering.' What Huxley called "here and now," and I phrase it in a purr.

If I am going to self defend, instead of letting my ego get all excited, I breathe deep, slow down and purr my defense out, liquid and sweet. SELF DEFENDING Words can be very convincing when delivered in a purr. The Master Jules used to say 'never self defend. In your defenselessness, your power lies.'  I hope life gives an "A" to my artful wide-eyed, defenseless pose --an attempt at what he recommends.

When I stand up like a trial laywer for those I love, they call me a bitch so I hope i have learned to be bright and perky when I stand up for others. A pleasant little smile to speak the words of a Johnnie Cochran without stridency. Just a MARY HART brightness. She'd have been a great member of the Dream Team, no?

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch so now when I speak my thoughts, I preamble it with 'of course, I don't know anything but
I did read this article which says that free radicals are the main cause of cellular destruction and that HAM can melt you to a puddle on the microscopic level...." I don't just say "ham can kill you charlie, QUIT!' I say "I wuv you and I don't want to lose you."

Learning that barking like a Bitch gets one called a Bitch, and always will, means I must smile, purr and demur yet never compromise what's in my heart or mind. It means I live my life MY way FEROCIOUS on every level except the 'delivery.' (TONE/sound and grimace are the packaging that I pack my walloping truth in.)

I'm grateful for Learning that the BITCH DEFENSE meant no man, no son had to ever learn from me! By learning that fact, I mutated. And in my mutation from snapping bitch to purring cat, I took away that last leg they stand on.THERE IS NO MORE BITCH DEFENSE. I am an example of: 'I said it sweetly and you're gonna learn it !' (purr purr)

My learning about the ubiquitous 'BITCH ALLEGATION' was a gift from God. Learning this means I never again have to worry about being strident. If I catch myself, I simply turn down the volume. I remembber the love third world Indian and Mexican and spanish women who never lose their cool. 

This means day and night I will be watchful for someone acting out on me, but I won't explode when I see it. I will tell them in SOFT GENTLE talk. But I will never allow anyone to step on me or mine  and I can freely step in as much as I want --as I have mastered the PURR, the smile, The eye batting, the soft voice, the gentle hand, the slow CATLIKE moves that MEN can live with. Because once we act like a BITCH, it is not forgotten. Pat Allen, a great love teacher and authoress and psychologist says that women often blow up thinking that they are writing in disappearing ink. That's not so. Once that rage falls on the ears of even a loving man, it turns out to be PERMANENT INDELIBLE INK, he can never forget those words and they will absolutely occasion a man's falling out of love with you!

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch by MEN usually but sometimes by other women who have forgotten their sisterhood momentarily and who side with the guys, but oddly, when I purr, even gals don't get their knickers in a twist. The B word never comes up.

There is sometimes that JUDGING BITCH THOUGHT that enters men's minds when a woman wants to take time for herself instead of being everyone's maid. When I feel a little selfish and want to take a vacation on my own, I sweetly, brightly in MARY HART tones say 'I earned my money and now me and my gal pal Suzi want to go to X place for X amt of days,, could I please? HUH? PLEASE?" They let me. They see reason because it's sweet reason. And they know I'll go anyway so might as well bless me.

TRUE BITCHCRAFT means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be or should do, I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I -  In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = HolyWoman

B = Ballsy
I = Individualist
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything

The next time you get into a situation where you know that someone in the room is thinking, 'what a bitch', remember this conversation which inevitably will make you break out into a big smile

THROW that smile into the eyes of that person who's starting to think 'the B word' and purrrrrr "tch tch, am I too hands-on for you? I should slow down, huh?' Baby need gentle-mommy? (say that in baby talk voice.) Mummy say it all nice-nice? That person will cogitate and realize that the level of candor and hands-on that you occupy is a beautiful one. And say, "nah, go ahead."

And you two can have a good laugh. Now, nobody wants to call anybody anything.