Searching For An Autobiography



Searching for an autobiography

for example


then letting myself down slowly

into a group


in an




when I was reduced

to wandering the edge of the park

within the heat of day

to where the sea was aflame

with Melvilles colors


out of the darkness forever

it seemed to me

where I was a moth a mouth

a splinter

in the reaching air

down to my bones

when the night was cold

when the night was gone


later shifting and snaked

I promised myself

to myself


in the abnormally long afternoon

I was able to move

by curling myself

into a ball again


(This was made subject to a congress of years

which supported me in the roll of tough times

and mayor of voices with such weapons as watching

football, waves dashing against my bones

and low water canoes foam sucked and lost

but full of promise)








In a stone village

far out to sea

blue and white whales

grey and brown


with nothing amputated


I crossed

my legs or myself

& hid my earnings

inside of it


three weeks later I said

(no I mean

I hold to that position

no one went anywhere-

I told everyone)


and then

for a long time

lemon groves

made me crazy


other wise I

was gone

by other means

(I said put that down

its lying to you)

have I seen

anything so wonderful

as those eyes

(is usually the question

I heard)




after the kidneys where gone


& the white caped moon or sun

rolled me further unwinding


(I had not believed them or her when I heard it again and again)


word for word

moments later

after the letter the look

the card order

the coffee grounds

the star etching sky

of great connections & editorials


I left

for the cable mountains

with another large story

about my huge hands

tucked under

my belt


& all the loss

which fed me

like anger and romance


I never knew

the headphone fragments

the boat fragments

the years

of sea water on both sides


that idea

that had been kicking

around so long

that I thought it

was part of my story


& the swallow

who flew

so beautifully

out of my

abandoned house




George J. Farrah