War Jest

Wow I thought to myself a chance to get in on the ground floor of something really big! I had
been connected with many clubs by that time Boy Scouts, 4H and a half a dozen saddle clubs. So I
remember thinking to myself "Nobody really knows what a big deal it is to be lucky enough to
get private land for events"! Little did I know how right I was a bought the "NOBODY" part.
The location was ideal remote but not to remote just over thirty miles form parker on the 72 more
than an hour closer to Caid than Estrella Mountain Park it was placed nicely even between
Atenveldt and Caid.

It was Friday night October 1982 when Aladric and I arrived at the home of Kirby Wise for the
first work party weekend. I was nervous at the prospect of meeting this living legend. Elgil
introduced us Kirby looked us up and down and said "everyone is in the shop why don't you go on
in and tell some lies a bought your sex life". My jaw dropt and I stared at Elgil he just surged and
said "that's Kirby"!

In Kirby's office we discussed the status of the War Site. Some earth moving had all ready begun
the access road had been grated and the round fort's (later to be known as dunraven) moat had
already been dug with a backhoe and the dirt was used to make the walls. However there was a
wrinkle in our plans a few days earlier heavy rains in the mountains had caused an old Army
Corps of Engineers dam to burst resulting in a flood running down the Bouse wash. Washing out
part of our road and partially filling Dunraven's moat with dirt. So we get to start with undoing
some of that damage. A road greater and a backhoe had already been arranged for, to help out.

Early the next morning we all climbed in to Roger's van and drove out to site. The flood had put
the road was in bad shape Roger had to keep his speed up to avoid getting stuck in the sand.
Once on site we took out our shovels and started work redigging the moat and clearing the cholla
cactus while the road greater started laying out the roads to the camping area and fixing the
access road. Thus started the work that was take up several of my weekends for the next four
months.

The biggest job was the cholla cactus. Every bit had to be collected and burned as to leave no
spine unaccounted for especially the battlefield. The war site was going to be primitive and harsh
enough that first year without adding stories of attack cactus. In those four months a group form
Atenveldt dug a square fort and build a drawbridge we built horse staples, water towers, road
sings and redug the moat on the round fort Dunraven and all of us helped pack the roads and
cleared the parking lot of all brush and twenty acres of cactus.

Did I mention what a pain the cactus was and I do mean pain! The procedure was to carefully dig
up the base so as to not shed any needles and carry it using a shovel or a brush hook to the fire.
No matter how carefully we were to keep the cholla at a shovels length away the spines still
managed to attack us! And I do mean attack I now understand some people refer to it as jumping
cholla. The tough spines seek you out. I recall that one spine pierced the heavy welding glove I
was wearing and nailed it to my hand I could get a hold of it but it would not budge. I had to have
Elgil yank it out with a pair of pliers but that was nothing compared to the one that pierced Elgil's
leather combat boot. He could not take the boot off until I pull it out with pliers.

Looking back on it I wished I had kept records of toughs first work parties leading up to the first
Great Desert War.

Friday February 18 1983 AS XVII Aladric and I arrived on site eager to fulfill our duties with the
Autocrating staff. I had also just finished my first Breastplate and was looking forward to the
combat scenarios. My first duty was to work troll gate. I recall thinking that this was the first
event in which radios were used to connect gates and Autocrats which was necessary because we
hat to run two gates one at the road which was a long way from the site and the Troll gate on the
edge of the property.

I wish I could say that everything went smoothly but there were problems. For example early
Saturday morning some jokers thought it would be cool march through the camp drumming out
cadence. I know what they must have been thinking. Drumming morning muster very period.
However most of the populace did not wish to be that period before Eight AM.

On the Friday before Duke Angus's camp was very careless and had flaming hibachis under his
tent flap resulting in a fire that demolished his tent and its contents (It couldn't have happened to
a nicer guy and I could see why he was banished from Caid) he actually tried to start a rumor that
he was the victim of arson but that did not get very far. To many people had seen how careless
his household was with fire.
I actually saved a scrap of his tent as a souvenir although I can't find where I put it.

The combat had some problems as well. The scenarios were Caid vs. Atenveldt and the rhino
hiding was very high and many combatants were overly aggressive. This was aggravated by a
foolish stunt pulled by the royalty. After the first crossroads battle the armies were lined up for
an open field battle and a hold was called and for the next two hours we sat, both armies under
the mid day desert sun while both the Atenveldt and Caid royals held a battle of champions. No
one was tolled what was going on or we would have gone back to camp we were just left to rot in
the sun. Talk of regicide was discussed in the ranks as well as the many uses for tanned knight
skin.

Which might be what lead the next problem. When we finally got to fight the open field battle the
Aggression factors were very high. The entire Atenveldt line charged and focused on the center
of our line where the Caid and Western royals were this ill-conceived attack was Atenveldt's
undoing the center of the Caid line broke but the rest of the line was not engaged so both ends
swung in like two gates enveloping the entire Atenveldt army we did not realize that we had
killed them all until we had accidentally killed a couple of our western allies which we had come
to meet in the middle. The battle was over but there was still quite a commotion where the royals
were. Marshals and heralds announced lunch break and for all fighters to clear the field.

I reported back to the autocrat's camp and asked what was going on? The word was some one
was hurt on the field. Then the announcement came. "The war between Atenveldt and Caid is
over and declared a draw! There will be no more fighting today and Sundays fighting will only be
maneuvers!" That was a surprise. When Elgil came back to camp he tolled us the whole story.
During the battle members of a particular fighting unit had seriously violated the 90o rule with
their great swords and the Prince of the West had a broken hand and was on his way to the
hospital. Later reports told us that it took five pins to put it back together.

That evening seemed to start off ok there were parties all over and the sound of Rolling Thunders
drums gave a period atmosphere. The bad part was the drums never stopped the night went on and
some people wanted to go to sleep but the drums went on. Complaints came in to our camp so Elgil and
Eadwynne went to check it out. They were gone so long that we were just about to go looking for them
when Eadwynne returned. It turned out that it was not Rolling Thunder. Members of the same fighting
company that had violated the 90o rule had absconded with Rolling Thunders drums and were being
very annoying. Elgil went in to tell them it was time to quiet down. They assaulted him and threw him to
the ground.

Eadwynne said he had never experienced a worst feeling in his life then that moment as he readied to
make real use of his dagger. To this day we refer to this as the night of Elgil's great restraint because
he did not shoot any of them. I did not witness this but I believe what kept the situation from escalating
was the fact that they realized what they were doing and backed off and Elgil knew that we had the La
Paz County Sheriff in our back pocket. The Sheriff really liked us and was spending as much time as he
could on site we had even arranged a parking space for him on merchants row and he had told us that if
anyone gives us trouble he will be glad to take them away and feed them baloney for a week.

What a night but we got through it. Sunday went much better I was amazed by the difference in the
attitude of the fighters now that we were only doing maneuvers instead of Kingdom vs. Kingdom. The
difference was like night and day and we had lots of fun.
To this day I prefer doing maneuvers over Kingdom vs. Kingdom because I keep observing a rectal
orifice factor that comes out in Kingdom vs. Kingdom wars that really ruins the fun.

It was on this day that I had one of my greatest moments on the field one scenario we were laying siege
to the square fort and were preparing to throw up a siege ladder at the top of the wall was the Draffen
shield wall. We decided to throw the ladder up between Draffen and a less organized group of fighters. I
and another gentleman who's name I never got volunteered to be the first up the ladder. Talk about a
rush! We pushed the ladder over with pikes and the enemy on the wall tried to use their pikes to keep it
off the wall their efforts were in vain the ladder went up and the two of us ran up it. We blew a hole in
the line and turned to take out more to make the hole wider when the marshals called a hold! So there
we were on our knees just the two of us surrounded by the enemy staring at each other waiting for lay
on! I think I actually lasted 3 seconds.