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Episode #105:  Meeting New Friends
Reel 1
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	Sailor Mars strode to the podium, looking scarcely five years older
than she had been in the closing years of the twentieth century.  Her eyes,
though, told the full story: that rather than being about twenty-one, she
was far closer to 1047 years old.  Around 2030 years, if you included the
intervening years between the silver millennium.

	Then again, it's never a good idea to ask a lady her age.

	"Students," she began, "I come before you as a Sailor Senshi and,
though you don't know it yet, as your worst nightmare."

	A couple of nervous giggles ran through the group of students, who
had been thrust right in front of the podium.

	"You see, you are all here to become Senshi.  And I would like you
to know just how great a responsibility that is.  By embarking on this
mission, you swear to do whatever is necessary to protect Neo-Queen
Serenity.  This will often require you to push yourself to the limit and
beyond, both physically and spiritually." She paused, taking the time to
look every student in turn.

	"Here at the school, you will also . . . " She trailed off.  The
students in the audience looked in surprise; Sailor Mars was one of the more
confident senshi you could meet.  One didn't usually expect her to stop in
mid-speech, excepting fire (which, to qualify, wasn't caused by her) or some
kind of supernatural attack.

	Or, as many had forgotten, the same effect could be produced by a
blonde with two pigtails racing into the room, screaming out apologies for
lateness.  However, there were no blondes presently guilty of doing this.  A
brunette would have to do.

	"SORRY SORRY SORRY!  WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN, REALLY!  I'M SO SORRY! 
DON'T LET ME INTERRUPT!" The brunette barreled down the aisle, and Jen
watched with horror as the girl plopped down in the seat next to her, which
was, Jen thought, unfortunately empty.

	"Um . . . "

	"Good morning! You must be . . . Jen Sakachi!  What's that phrase? 
Um . . . pleased to meet you!  I'm Eileen Pearcy!  We'll be the best of
friends, Jen-chan, right?"

	By now the chamber was in total silence.  Jen didn't dare to look up
at the podium; she suspected that Mars's eyes were burning with a fire that
matched her abilities.  One could hear a pin drop.  At least, one could hear
in between Eileen's ramblings.

	"Yes, I'm from America, that's um . . . Amerika, right?  And that
makes me Amerikajin?  Great!  My stuff is already in our room, and I just
*know* that you'll like the wallpaper I brought, and . . . "

	Jen merely slumped down.  This, she thought, is going to be a long
year.

	It was not the last time she had such a thought.

	Sailor Mars finished her speech.  While losing quite a bit of her
thunder to Eileen's rather distinctive entrance, she had still managed to
end on a strong note that had many students wondering what they had signed
up for.  As the assistant principal walked back to the podium, they were
still evenly divided.  Half thought they were about to enter the school; the
other half favored boot camp.

	"And now, everyone, Sailor Mercury with our second opening speech."

	The blue-haired senshi walked to the podium.  Eileen goggled.

	"Y'know, I thought that she'd be taller, y'know?"

	Jen hadn't known, and hadn't wanted to know, and was about to make
Eileen quite aware of her apathy in this department when Mercury cleared her
throat.  Sailor Mercury did not tolerate interruptions any more than her
fuming colleague.

	"Good day," Mercury began.  "As has been said may times today, this
is your first day at the Tsukino State College.  You may think that there is
no need for me to tell you why you are here.  You know that you have been
determined to be the most favorable candidates to undergo the Ginzuishou
Senshi Transformation Process as perfected by Neo-Queen Serenity in the year
3002."

	"Gosh, she's boring," muttered Eileen.  "Can't the old windbag liven
things up?"

	Jen gasped at such temerity.  To be honest, she might have laughed
at Eileen's remark had they been sitting closer to the back.  But
considering their current proximity to the speaker, such a remark was
extremely unwise.

	Sailor Mercury pressed on, but not without making a mental note to
exact revenge.  This was not a high school, and she intended that those two
troublemakers in the front row would become well acquainted with that fact
before she left for the day.

	"You may also think that my presence here is antiquated and useless. 
After all, you have all passed the toughest exam we can throw at you.  The
last thing you need is a pep talk, right?"

	There was a pause.

	"No!  This is one of the most important things to know: that there
is so much you don't know!  There is an incredible amount of information
that you remain ignorant of, information of crucial importance to yourselves
and the Crystal Millennium.  Take astrogation, or statistics, or political
science: there's a reason we cram four years of learning into a single year. 
And this disregards your physical training, as well.  You will find that
during the next twelve months, time will be at a premium.

	"And what is all this for?  Why do all this work, learn all this
material, when the numbers say that less than a quarter of you will even
become senshi?  Because knowledge is a reward in and of itself."

	"It's a boredom in and of itself," whispered Eileen.  A bit too
loudly, unfortunately.

	Sailor Mercury was very forgiving.  However, she also knew when to
take advantage of a situation, and this was clearly it.  Time, she decided,
to vaunt my rarely seen sense of humor.

	"Suppose," she continued with a gleam in her eyes that, had Sailor
Mars seen it, would have frightened her witless, "that you are in the
following situation: heavily outnumbered outside the protection of Crystal
Tokyo, on your own, with nothing but an auditorium," here she gestured about
them, "as your surroundings, and let's say that the luck of the draw gave
you my abilities, that is, virtually no offensive power.  What would you
do?"

	"Err . . . ."

	"MERCURY AQUA RHAPSODY!"

	The blast of water struck Eileen, Jen, and most of the people around
them.  Amid the screams of shock, they tried to blink away the water and dry
themselves, to no avail.

	"What you do," continued Mercury from next to the main entrance, "is
to give your opponent ample diversion, so that they don't see you make your
next move: getting away." In a practiced motion, she tapped an earring and
analyzed the crowd.  She then tapped the earring again.  The entire
procedure took about two seconds.  She walked down the aisle, towards the
now soaking students, a brunette in particular.

	"Pearcy-san, you now see the results of not paying proper attentions
to one's surroundings?  I certainly hope that you fare better in future
examinations, or else we have made a grave mistake in allowing a North
American into the School." Reaching the podium, she concluded her speech.

	"Therefore, remember that it's not always brawn that wins the day,
but it can often lose it."

	With that, she resumed her seat, leaving a rather surprised looking
assistant principal to address a rather sopping class.  Many of them looked
ashamed, a few were mad, and a couple in the front were laughing their heads
off.  This definitely did not please the AP.

	"Marvin," he muttered silently, "who are those two laughing over
there?"

	"Jennifer Sakachi and Eileen Pearcy," the computer replied, taking
his cue from the AP and speaking quietly.

	"Great," the assistant principal muttered.  He raised his voice. 
"Very well, beginning activities are over.  Classes begin tomorrow, and you
may have the rest of the day to yourselves.  Oh, and I would like to see
Jennifer Sakachi and Eileen Pearcy immediately.  And that means now!"

	As one, the students stood and bowed.  All but two then left to
change into dryer clothes, accompanied by the great majority of the staff. 
The two remaining students drew closer to the podium, still snickering.

	"Ladies, I don't think I need to tell you that such absence of
decorum during an important occasion like this is totally inexcusable."

	Eileen struggled to keep a straight face and failed completely. 
"Well, Takahashi-sensei, I know . . . that it's difficult, but . . . ," and
here she totally gave up the attempt and collapsed, laughing.  Somehow, she
managed to get a finger up and pointing in a seemingly random direction.

	Takahashi turned to glare at Jen.  "And do you, Sakachi-san, find
anything humorous about the situation?  Pray reveal it to us."

	Jen frantically tried not to suffer the same fate as Eileen, who was
presently rolling about the floor.  "Oh . . . Takahashi-sensei, if you could
only see the look on Sailor Mars's face when Sailor Mercury did her stunt,
you would be in the same pickle we are!"

	The AP turned to regard the senshi in question.  Mercury had the
hint of a smile on her face, and far more than that in her eyes.  Mars, on
the other hand, looked as if someone had dared to strike the Queen.  He did
not envy anyone else who had to tangle with her for the rest of the day. 
For that matter, the remainder of the century.  This is probably the
principal reason why he did not address her at that point.

	"Well.  I think that I see.  Anyway, Sailor Mercury, as always, a
pleasure."

	"As it is here, Takahashi-sensei.  I always enjoy my chances to come
back and give the introductory speeches.  Oh, next year's speakers will be
Venus and Saturn, just so you know."

	"Yes, thank you."

	"And you will be reimbursed for the water damage.  I apologize, but
the lesson had to be taught."

	"Of course, of course."  He swallowed.  Several times.  "And thank
you, Sailor Mars.  We always look forward to your visits at the School.  I
regret the difficulties that these two presented to you . . . and I've
brought them so that they could make their personal apologies." His voice
turned into a desperate squeak.  "Right, ladies?"

	Jen decided that now was definitely not an opportune time to buck
authority.  "Of course, Takahashi-sensei." She turned to the two senshi and
bowed.  "My extreme apologies, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars.  It will not
happen again."

	The two senshi returned the bow, Mercury warmly, Mars with distinct
malice.  Rising, Jen nudged Eileen, who was still recovering from her fit. 
Eileen, still chuckling, marched up unto the stage and shook Mercury's hand.

	"No hard feelings, huh?"

	Takahashi fainted.  Jen got very close to doing so as well, but her
concern for her erstwhile roommate's safety overrode this impulse.

	"Eileen-san!  What do you think you're doing?!"

	Sailor Mercury, although initially shocked, pumped Eileen's hand. 
Here, clearly, was someone who took the bull by the horns.  "Eileen-san, I
think you'll do well at the School."

	Sailor Mars didn't say a word, which was perhaps her most
frightening action of the day.  Or at least until she spoke.

	"Get out.  Get out or I will incinerate you."

	Even Eileen decided that now would not be the best of times to kiss
and make up with Mars, so she and Jen beat a hasty but polite retreat.

***

	Later, Jen and Eileen were spending their time going through all
their belongings and placing them in their proper places.  Eileen looked as
if she had just met a slightly deranged dog, Jen was furious.

	"Eileen-san!  How could you do something like this?  Do you want us
thrown out of the school, or are you just suicidal?  Interrupting Sailor
Mars like that?  And then laughing in the senshi's faces!  And if that
wasn't enough, SHAKING SAILOR MERCURY'S HAND?!?!?"

	"Settle down, Jen-chan, I really don't think these walls are
soundproof."

	"Marvin?  Are they?"

	"The noise reduction capacity of the walls is currently sufficient
to lower a one hundred decibel shout to approximately twenty decibels to a
listener on the other side."

	"Thanks.  But that still doesn't explain why you're so mad at me,
you know?"

	Jen took several deep breaths.  "Eileen-san, over the past hundreds
of years, very specific rules of protocol have been established for the
sailor senshi.  They don't get a -san or -sama honorific.  You simply call
them Sailor Whatever.  You don't call them by their real names, and you
NEVER touch them without their say-so!  People have *died* for doing such as
that!"

	"Died?"

	"Well, they were generally attacking the senshi at the time, but
that's not important right now."

	"I think it is."

	"Eileen-san!"  She threw the blouse she had been about to hang up on
the bed and started pacing, something she had never been properly able to do
in her old room.  She rather liked being able to do so.  "How stupid are
you?  You barely know Japanese, you have no sense of respect for authority-"

	"Excuse me?"  Eileen's tone of voice made Jen turn around.  It was
the first time she had ever heard her sound serious.  "Would you care to
give me some credit?  I *did* pass the Exam, you know.  My Japanese may not
be flawless, but I get along, don't I?  The School apparently thinks that I
should be here.  Why don't you?"

	"Because you're hopelessly immature, you haven't half the depth of
learning I have, and-"

	"Oh, I don't?  Who won the 1812 US-British conflict?"

	"No-one.  It was a military and political draw.  Who won the Battle
of Hiroshima in 2153?"

	"No-one!  There was no Battle of Hiroshima until 2189!  What treaty
ended the Formation Wars?"

	"The Treaty of Tokyo, 23 August 2190, signed by the leaders of the
fourteen then-dominant nations and given final force by Neo-Queen Serenity!"

	"No!  The Treaty of Tokyo was a sham, a worthless piece of paper. 
As far as history goes, it's as if it didn't exist, and therefore there was
*no* treaty that ended the War, only the will of Serenity!"

	"Oh, you cannot be serious," replied Jen incredulously. "The Treaty
has been binding for nearly nine hundred years!  Just because a *certain
country* got the short end of the stick in the agreement doesn't mean that
you can disregard it!"

	"Yeah, *we* got the short end all right, and had it rammed right up
our bums by sniveling diplomats.  If Serenity had only given a bit of
thought, then I have no doubt that-"

	"Oh, now it's time to badmouth the Queen, is it?"

	"You bet it is!"

	"Is it?"

	"Yes!"

	"Yes!"

	"PTBBBBBBH!"

	"PTBBBBBBH!"

	Things would have went on like this for quite some time if the
combatants hadn't run out of breath.  After a period of time, Jen spoke
again.

	"That was fun."

	"Extremely."

	"You think we were made roommates on purpose?"

	"Undoubtedly."

	"Ah."

***

	A few days later found the two walking back from their class in
Elementary Temporal Mechanics, Eileen proposing a certain plan for the
weekend.

	"You want to do *what?*

	"You heard me, Jen-chan.  Let's see Sailor V II!"

	In recent years, Naoko Takeuchi's film Sailor V had regained
popularity in Japan.  Some said it was part of the whole 1990's
retro-revival movement, some said it was a need to return to a simpler time,
when there were only a few senshi, and those that existed hadn't spent large
quantities of time and wars to kill each other.  For whatever reason, Sailor
V merchandise had reached a high in popularity not seen in literally a
thousand years.

	Therefore, some enterprising film producers, who were *slightly*
nudged by the Crystal Tokyo administration in the form of Sailor Venus, had
come up with a sequel to _Codename wa Sailor V_.  Some criticized it as
trash, others said it was the second coming of high cinema.  Whatever you
said, it came at a hefty price; only a few copies were in circulation, and
none were coming to the School.

	It was this situation that Eileen sought to change, and that Jen was
trying to talk her out of.

	"Eileen-san, I don't care *how* good a movie it is.  I'm not going
to sneak out of the School for one night just so I can see it a couple weeks
before everyone else, especially when-"

	"Oh, come on, those old wives' tales about campus security got you
scared?  About how the Ginzuishou is rigged to detect anyone crossing
outside without permission?  Cripes, this is a school, not a jail, and I'll
go where I please!"

	"Quiet!"  During the last portion of her diatribe, Eileen had gotten
increasingly loud, and Jen was furtively looking about to see if anyone else
was looking at them.  "Do you want all and sundry to hear you, Eileen-san? 
Come on and get in the room!"

	With that, Jen veritably dragged Eileen into their room, and closed
the door.  "Now we can speak freely."

	"Not really," said Eileen casually.  "We've got HAL up there
listening to us, remember?"

	"HAL?"

	"HAL.  Oh, you're the nineties freak, not the sixties.  Oh well,
come over here." They entered the bathroom and closed the door.

	"Jen-chan, what is the most important thing in a girls' school like
this?"

	"An ample supply of feminine needs?"

	"No, silly!  Keeping prying eyes away from bathrooms!"

	"I really don't think that that's such a high concern . . . ."

	"Oh, come on, you don't really think the AIs are androgynous, do
you?"

	"Well I hear that the one they're working on now, Ant-"

	"Look, will you let me finish?  Now, the way I see it, there will be
no AI pickups in here.  No microphones, no cameras, no nothing.  So we can
talk without being discovered."

	"But-"

	"No buts!"

	"It's important!"

	"Too bad, it can wait until after we get the movie!"

	"I really think that-"

	"No rationalizing!  Now, we pull the fire alarm in hallway four,
right, and break through the window in the main lounge during the confusion. 
From there, it's an easy sprint to the nearest town.  We grab Sailor V-II,
get back, and we're home free."

	"And if we're caught, which given the number of holes in your plan
is bound to happen?"

	"Then," said Eileen, exasperated, "we were practicing covert tactics
and guerrilla senshi warfare, and things got out of control."

	"Oh really?" asked Jen.

	"Oh yeah, it works perfectly."

	Jen sighed.  She'd tried to warn her, but they had fallen upon deaf
ears.  Time to leave her to her fate.  "Fine, but you're doing it by
yourself."

	"Oh come on, we're a team!"

	"One week does not a team make, Eileen-san.  If you're so big on
grabbing the movie, then go ahead.  But I tried to warn you."

	"Fine!"

	And with that, Eileen left the bathroom.

	"Marvin?"

	"Yes?"

	"Why do I bother?"

	"I do not know."

***

	That night, Jen sat up in bed a bit later than usual.  She had
ignored the fire alarm and now sat up waiting for her roommate.  The
brunette returned, visibly hastened.

	"So, Eileen-san, how'd things turn out?"

	"Oh, fine."  She fell onto her bed.  "Got caught by the admissions
director in town, got a tongue-lashing, and I'm on probation for the
remainder of the term.  How have things been with you?"

	"Oh, nothing much.  Hung around, watched V-II, studied a bit."

	"Ah."  Eileen went into the bathroom, stayed there for a beat, and
raced out.

	"You saw Sailor V-II?!?

	"Yes."

	"Nooooooooooooooo!" cried Eileen as she crumpled to the floor. 
"How?"

	"My mom smuggled me a copy in the mail.  I tried to tell you, but . . . "

	"Jen-chan?"

	"Yes?"

	"Shoot me.  Just shoot me now."

	The room was filled with the sounds of laughter.  It was entirely
one sided.