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Tom Cruise is the necrophiliac of great directors; He likes them when they're cold and when their talent is gone. Or maybe
he's just the entity that sucks the rocker out of them. Witness his victims:
Mission: Impossible III (2006): Bye
bye, J.J. We hardly wanted to know you and we were right. Our guess is that you'll be the anonymous crew member on the Enterprise
who dies.
Collateral (2004): Pretty good, right? Compare this to Insider and Heat. Uhhh... I hope there's a way
out still for Mann.
The Last Samurai (2003): This is the probably the first overtly offensive Zwick movie where you
knew you never wanted to see him work again. You've been cruised, Ed. And for once, we're on Tom's side.
Vanilla
Sky (2001): If you can do this Cameron Crowe... no one is safe.
Mission: Impossible II (2000): Nothing wrong with
helping to show that John Woo shouldn't do Hollywood, but Jesus...
Magnolia (1999): PT Anderson got crucified for
this movie. Cruise got an Oscar nod and a chance to act like a heterosexual. Not a fair trade if you ask us.
Eyes
Wide Shut (1999): Cruise fucking killed Stanley Kubrick. What else needs to be said?
Mission: Impossible (1996):
Remember the last movie De Palma did? Cruised.
The Firm (1993): Not his fault.
Days of Thunder (1990):
Don't you see? He even killed NASCAR. What's that? NASCAR is thriving? Well, at least we know that there's an evil more
powerful than Cruise.
Born on the Fourth of July (1989): I liked it better with legless Sinise.
Rain Man
(1988): Did Cruise kill Dustin Hoffman's career, too?
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