Before I went on the path of doing something that approaches productivity (or sleep, which at this point would also be productive), I think I had my patron goddess yank on my brain tonight, if only because the topic of my thoughts mostly centred around one thing. Doing what it takes to get back on track spiritually. There's the impression that this isn't helping with the problems in other aspects of my life, and might help unblock me in regards to other things.

It is creeping closer to Yule, isn't it?

The thought about going out tonight with the salt and possibly a purple candle and properly pay my respects like I haven't done in over a year occurred to me, and I think I like it. Some time after dark falls; full moon is technically the 8th, but that's the middle day really. It starts tonight, and it's so close to full now that it can tug on the threads of my spirit. So it took the opportunity to do so.

[ Diana, she'll never be an easy goddess to serve, and the descriptions I've read of Dianic Wicca has always managed to creep under my skin for that reason. She is not one thing or the other, only one aspect. She is full, She is complete on her own terms. She is Goddess -- not the goddess, but to me, there isn't one Main Goddess that other goddesses slip into anyway. There is the Is, which is the higher, where Light and Dark meet, but below that there is the pantheon. The pantheon of gods that come from any variety of beliefs, even the one Christians call God, who I dealt with in my own fashion before turning away from. Yes, this is my pantheon. I didn't make a good Wiccan, obviously. ]^*

I have to do something tonight.

I was remembering something else that I took away from my study of Wicca. The Book (Disc) of Shadows, and the Mirror Book. They sort of blurred together in my own mind, although I think the former is the things learned, the rituals/rites, the spells, the incantations along the study of magick and sprituality, while the latter is the book for the thoughts, the observations, the growing. It occurred to me tonight that perhaps for me, the best way, the best path would be to combine them. I mean, I don't think I'd be passing them down, so why else would I really need to keep them separate. I'm getting tired of separating the arenas of my life. That would count, too. Might make it easier to separate for some people, easier to locate what's been sought after, but I tend to want to go to one location for all my information, and that's what it would be.

It's probably time for me to do something along those lines. It's probably long past time.

And I still want to see if I can't find something about the magick separate. It's time I started learning. I still suspect it might be needed.

* Rant inspired essentially by too much Cunningham when I was trying to study Wicca. Does it show?