You know, I'm never going to be tiny.

I'm never going to fit into the shirts and the clothes that some people claim are made for women. I'm not built like that. I have wide hips and wide shoulders. I'm never going to be anything else. I have moderate sized tits. I'm not flat-chested, which had bothered me in the past, but that I've come to terms with. They're not so large that they overwhelm, but they're decent. Not bad. They sag a bit, but that's the way gravity works.

I'm curved. I'm overweight, but even when I reach the right weight for me, I'm still going to be curved. I like that. The only bones I want to feel through my skin are the slight bit of hipbone because for some reason, I like that. I like knowing this is the natural shape my hips are supposed to be. And the right weight for me still isn't going to be some "target weight" for my height and my build. It's still probably going to be considered overweight.

You know what? I don't give a fuck.

I'm all curves and curls. My hair is wild, it's curly, and I wish it were longer. It's always going to be curly, a bit, or frizzy, or something of the like. Even on its straight days, it's a little wavy, and there's curls at the end. I like that. It took me longer to come to terms with my hair than it did to come to terms with my body.

Sometimes my face makes me look so much younger than I am. Sometimes it makes me look older. It changes by the day, the hour, the minute, the second. Sometimes I think I know what makes it change like that, sometimes I'm not so sure. I don't think it matters. I don't think I care.

I have what could be considered "thunder thighs". So what? There's muscle there, too, and they carry me around just fine. I think, ironically, I've always liked my thighs. I liked looking at them. I saw no need to change them overly much. If there's more muscle built there, that's fine and welcome, but it's not something I'm going to seek. My tummy area has always been the problem spot. Always.

I like my calves too. I'm proud of them. I got them when I was racing around the playground, I got them besting everyone at kickball, I got them playing rough and tumble football with the boys and snatching the basketball away and running so they couldn't catch me. I got them climbing trees, playing soccer, and being a tomboy. I got them in high school, when I couldn't stay still, when I was madly shifting from one foot to the other and racing down the field after the ball. I got them as I tried to best my best friend and had him catch up with me and race circles around me. I'm proud of that.

My ankles will never be what they once were. But I accept that too. I have ankle braces for when they act up.

It's just me, with the evidence of a life lived. And I might never fit into the girly clothes, the clothes designated as fitting a woman's body. But that's okay. There's more out there than just that.