All WoD's fault --for asking for a story with the line from Shrek -- "I have save my ass."

The Mayor had once again roped Major Crimes into a Halloween event to help the inner city children. She had insisted on costumes. Blair had tried to get Jim out to a costume shop early to find something suitable for the event, but typically, they were swamped by their caseload. They didn't make it to the shop until a week before Halloween and the costumes were pretty well picked over.

"No. No way in hell am I going to be the back end of a horse costume."

"While you can be a horse's ass on occasion, Jim, this was one time I wasn't expecting you to be."

"Then why are you so interested in the costume? The front half is too small for me. I'd have to take the rear."

"I was actually only interested in the head."

"Oh? Thinking something along the lines of the Godfather and leaving it in someone's bed as a warning?"

"Cute, Jim. No, I was thinking more of going as the donkey from Shrek."

"That movie ended wrong. Shrek and the donkey belonged together. The dragon and the princess were just babes of the week."

"I think you have issues, Jim."

"No issues here."

"You identify with Shrek?"

"Stop analyzing me."

"It's my favorite sport outside our bedroom."

"Maybe you should dress up as Freud."

"The kids would never recognize Sigmund. And going as a cigar is definitely not cool."

"Save me from a lover with a brain. So if I'm not going to be a horse's ass and you aren't going to be a cigar, what are we going as?"

"Hmmm," Blair mused as he examined the meager offerings of the shop. His eyes lit up as he found the perfect costume items for a Sentinel and Guide.

"You'd look great painted up like a Chopec warrior. I could go as a shaman."

"No. No way. This is a party for children, Chief! We can't wear that. There's no way I could hide my ... feelings ... for you in a loincloth."

"These loincloths are a bit more discreet. I don't want anyone seeing any more of your ass than necessary."

"Jealous?"

"You bet. That's my ass."

"I like the way you say that." Jim kissed Blair not caring who might see.

They made their purchases and headed home. Jim modeled his loincloth for Blair who was hard pressed not to rip the tiny garment from Jim's body before pouncing him.

The evening of the party was thankfully unseasonably warm. They were able to leave their coats in the truck in the school parking lot and enter the gym in their painted glory. Their costumes were a hit with the children. Unfortunately, Jim's loincloth was also a hit with the Mayor. A fact that did not sit well with Blair. When she had the nerve to put her hand on Jim's butt, Blair put his foot down. He handed Megan his glass of punch.

"Excuse me, I have to save my ass."

Megan just snickered and privately wondered if Her Honor would get to keep her hand.

Blair might lack Jim's height and muscle bulk, but he made up for it in attitude. His shaman was less authentic than Jim's Chopec warrior. He had gone for the "Witch Doctor" look, complete with menacing rattles. It was, after all, Halloween. He stormed across the gym to separate Jim from Her Honor. In no time flat Jim was being steered back to a safe crowd of candy hungry monsters.

"Thanks, Chief," Jim mouthed over the kids' heads.

October 26, 2001