There is No Arizona
She had left the comfortable life of her parents' home to live with him and several other members of he counter culture. San Francisco wasn't the easiest place for a young woman used to finer things, but he was getting by -- with a little help from her friends.
It had been months since he had left her. His dreams of living in Arizona had filled her head with isions of warm painted deserts and the Grand Canyon. He promised that he would make a new and etter life for them. She had believed him when he left her behind to find his Sedona.
That was before she had found out that he'd left her pregnant, alone and struggling to make ends meet. She had a job that paid barely enough to rent a tiny efficiency apartment and pay the bills. Pre-natal care was going to be a strain. But she never once thought of terminating the pregnancy. Her hippie friends found her a doctor who ran a free clinic for unwed teen mothers when she refused to return to her parents for help.
The once slender redhead sorted through the mail. She grimaced at the bills, but laid them aside to be paid. The money from her meager paycheck would be enough to cover them. She had been careful this month. A postcard fluttered out of a circular for a supermarket. She bent awkwardly to pick it up, puzzling first over the Wild West Saloon and then the Tombstone postmark.
"Naomi: I don't know where I'm going next. When I do, I'll let you know."
She let the postcard drop to the floor. One more lie to fill the Grand Canyon. He wouldn't be coming back.
She watched the sun sink into the west through the tiny apartment's window and absently rubbed her swollen belly. It wouldn't be long now. When the child was old enough, the two of them would travel the world together. She would never let another man leave her behind. She would take what she needed from them and walk away.
Her child would never have to know there was no Arizona.
"Lucy! I'm home!" Blair called out merrily as he came into the loft. He hung up his jacket and began to remove the shoulder harness for his weapon. He pulled down the lockbox from the shelf and put the handgun away. He picked up the mail from the table by the door.
"Just because I'm stuck here on administrative leave, " Jim grumbled over an elaborate concoction he was making for dinner. Blair met him in the kitchen and kissed him.
"Don't feel so bad. Last time it was both of us. It's only 3 days. Besides, you get the chance to catch up on your favorite household chores."
"Bite me. You got a postcard from Naomi today. She's in Arizona, visiting the Grand Canyon."
"That's odd." He examined the photograph of the Canyon's painted walls before flipping it over to read Naomi's airy "Wish you were here" note.
"Hmmm?"
"Arizona is the one place she refused to visit when I was growing up. I wonder what got her there after all these years?"
"Some sort of spiritual retreat?"
"She went to India to get over my badge. She went to Tibet when I told her we were lovers. I hardly think that Arizona would make her list of spiritual retreats."
"Maybe she just wanted to see the Grand Canyon."
Naomi watched as the wind carried his ashes away into his beloved desert. Two young men stood at either side of the woman who emptied the urn. When they turned away from the edge and walked back Naomi refused to look away. She didn't care what they thought of her. They had him all these years. They couldn't begrudge her these last moments.
She was surprised when the younger of the two men stopped, briefly, as the other led his mother away to their limousine. He smiled sadly at her as if he knew who she was and why she was at the private memorial service of a man of his father's stature. She wanted to shout at him that his father was a low life bastard who seduced a young girl with a promise of a life among this painted desert splendor. Why did they have a father while Blair had been abandoned?
Something in the eyes so like Blair's stopped her. This was the person who had sent her the announcement and the directions to the site, she realized. She wasn't the easiest woman to track down, but this man had reached her effortlessly within hours of his father's death. Her eyes widened. His father must have always known and told him where to find her. She pressed her hand to her stomach. The young man nodded. She turned toward the others who waited for him. He shook his head. He smiled that same sad smile and left her alone, wondering if he would try to contact Blair.
Naomi walked to the edge of the canyon and let the tiny pieces of an old postcard scatter on the wind.
July 8, 2002