Submitted By: Barney Mitchell
Never ask of money spent
Where the spender thinks it went
No one was ever meant
To remember or invent
What they did with every cent
Submitted By: Sue Johnson
The Thunder God went for a ride
Upon his favorite philly.
"I'm Thor!", he cried.
The horse replied,
"You forgot your thaddle, thilly!"
Author unknown
Submitted By: raymond
I found myself asleep
underneath a coconut tree
it fell down
I didn't care till I found my head
rolling around
Submitted By: nick and sam
Roses are red
violets are gold
why where a bra
when you have nothing to hold
Submitted By: michael phelps
My sister is an Ernhart fan,
In nascar he is her man.
He crashes almost every race,
With Gordon he tries to pace.
He needs to join an old foggy clan
Because he will never beat the man.
Submitted By: Roy Lemley
old George on a dare,
decided to go bare
all the people did stare
but George didn't care
until he sat on an old splintered chair
Submitted By: D-RIX
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
Each one had a quarter,
Jill came down with fifty cents,
You think they went up for water?
Submitted By: Garret Gazlay
While sitting home I thought to write
a little verse to bore you.
Just read it clearing out your mind
or else I'll clear it for you
I guess that this is long enough
so go back on your way,
but thanks for sitting anyhow
and have an awesome day!
Submitted By: ciara
In days gone by,
When fish could fly,
and elephants lived up in trees.
The girls and fellas ,
carried umbrellas
In case an elphant sneezed
charlie trumpat,
Was very fat,
for too much food passed his lips.
When he bent on the bus,
He caused quite a fuss
cause they thought there had been an eclipse!
Submitted By: douuphy
Why do guys do what they do?
Sitting around and watching TV
Molding like rock??
I know this isn't a limerick
but haha TOO bad!
Submitted By: sideys' gang
Bala had a little patch
For which he had no match
He tried to dye it bright
Instead it gave all a fright
So be bellowed with all his might
Till others kept quiet
Submitted By: Sideys
There was this man from the moon
He couldn't even lift a spoon
But loved to watch a toon
Especially in the noon
Submitted By: Spankaroofie
There was a guy who had three testicles
Said he to the doctor was,
how the ---- did this happen?
I don't ----ing know
why the ---- did you come to me?
Submitted By: joe blue
Here I sit all broken harted
tried so shit but only farted
yesterday I took a chance
didn't try and shit my pants
Submitted By: Hanne
Mary held her little daughter
twenty minutes under water
Not to save herself from troubles
just to watch the funny bubbles!
Submitted By: Phil Byrd
I had a girl by the name of May,
And I was happy when I got her.
But I ditched her for a gal named June,
Cause you know June is hotter.
Submitted By: NICK FINNEY
MELODY AND SILENCE.
Sex on the big screen
Some say obscene
I shouted YEAH
And growled like a bear
As she mounted his beam.
BAD STROBES.
Light flickers at night
As the ugly bugs do bite
I caught malaria
Hospitalised in Bavaria
Eeuurrgghhh I feel like shite
Submitted By: Dave Hodgkinson
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of cheese
Jack came down with a smile on his face
And his trousers round his knees
Submitted By: Evil Bastard
there once was a genie with a 10 foot weenie
and he showed it to the neighbor next door
she thought it was a snake
and cut it with a rake
and now its only 2.4
Submitted By: Bill Solomon
There once was a cat who takes a crap,
Anywhere throughout this land,
But her greatest bit,
Was to take a shit,
In the Grand Canyon filled up with sand.
Submitted By: kim stade
Roses are red and
violets are black
thank you for washing your hands
before making my big mac....
Submitted By: Greg
There once was a Peanut who sat on the railroad track,
his heart was all a flutter,
the train came around the track,
toot!, toot!, Peanut butter!
Submitted By: BATMAN
mary had a little lamb,
full of fun and frolicks,
it jumped the garden shed one night
and landed on it's bollicks.
Submitted By: BATMAN
Mary had a little lamb,
she also had a duck,
she put them on the mantle piece to see if they would,
Well i guess you know the rest.
Submitted By: M@stermind
I had a friend named Jed,
A cannon ball blew off his head.
I was sure he was quite dead,
Until he stabbed me with pencil lead.
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised July 1999