Nice Limericks

Page 24

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Submitted By: Maggie
Once there was a girl from Belize
Who, outside in the snow, did freeze
Unlikely weather here, say
Not knowing of this fray
She looked at the snow but did not believe.

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Submitted By: craig berrington
there was a young man named keith
who loosely fitted false teeth
with a violent cough
his dentures took off
and clobbered a woman in neith.

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Submitted By: Kurt Volker
There once was ayoung lad named Drake,
Such a bore people called a flake.
He slicked back his hair,
And walked with a stare,
They changed his name to fruit-cake.

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Submitted By: Amanda
There was a ship called the "Titanic"
It sank far below the Atlantic
It hit a block of ice
And it wasn't very nice
And it sent people into a panic

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Submitted By: Owen Munro
There once was redwood named Lee.
Who liked to drink English tea,
"Tea is great,
It's really top rate!"
Said Lee the large redwood tree.

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Submitted By: Shelby
There is a cat named Sox
Who's life really rocks
He lives with Bill
on Capital Hill,
And feels all the aftershocks.

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Submitted By: Purvi
There was a man in Argentina,
who annoyed a girl named Tina,
She let out a cry
and gave him a blow on the eye,
that almost damaged his "Retina".

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Submitted By: PmB
There once was a girl named Mollie
When you saw her she was oh so jolly
Never in a bad mood,
definitely not rude,
It was because of her little dollie.

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Submitted By: Amber Miller
There are some girls who drool
over the boys in school
Some of them debate
and some of them celebrate
But I think it is a bunch of bull

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Submitted By: ron wax
A Lorimar director named Dwight
Filmed the relativity of Bright
"But filming won't work,"
He said with a smirk.
"The frames un-photo in flight."

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Submitted By: Jacky Roberts
There once was a man named Oliver Hyde
His favorite cleaner was Whitening Tide
It cleaned really well
He thought that was swell
then one day he Shouted and died.

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Submitted By: Mary Bubb
Esmerelda, Dresabela, Cinderella,
But what about me Farawella?
I'm the fourth sister unknown,
cuse i live far from home,
For I'm ugly and scare all the fellas.

My hair is a grousum green,
And outside I'm embarrased to be seen.
My skin looks moldy,
It's kind of grody,
And in public it's hard not to be seen.

Now let me tell you about Peet,
his breath smells like sweaty feet.
He's just like me,
No couple can beat,
The love between me and Peet.

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Submitted By: Elizabeth
There was a girl named Sam,
Who love to eat ham,
Once when she ate it,
She started to hate it,
From then on she ate spam.

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Submitted By: Garret Gazlay
This man found some big bars of barium
but most were to heavy to carry'em
he told his wife Lily
she fell down quite silly
and asked dad is she could go marry'im.

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Submitted By: Stephen o
There once was a ant named grant.
Who wanted to dive off the plant.
He went head frist
and almost burst.
Know he's an ant with a slant.

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Submitted By: katie
there once was a man from the nile
who smelt very very vile
but then to his surprise
he won a magnificent prize
of being the smellist young man alive

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Submitted By: C. Morgan
There was an old monkey names Boo
Who obviously lives in the ZOO
One day the zoo keeper
Fell into a sleeper*
And old Boo shouted "YAHOO!"

*sleeper = stone

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Submitted By: Diane
There once was a lady named Pam
Who would eat nothing but Spam,
When her marriage died
she lost all that she 'buyed'
and her hubby ran off with Uncle Sam?!?

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Submitted By: SpaceWolf
There once was a man from Millow
Who Dreamed he was eating a Marsh Mellow
he woke up that night
and to his fright
he couldnt find his pillow

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Submitted By: edsDrizzt
These are some of my limerics about the Drow, a race in the Forgotten
Realms series

Drizzt Du'Orden sank into his cowl
retreating from the sun like an owl
regarded with dread
and a price on his head
The dark elf, reputed as foul.

The mighty followers of Lloth
are clerics, or women of the cloth
they worship a Queen
who's unspeakably mean
but they all consider her the boss.

The haughty and cold Matron Mothers
Are scornful of all of the others
Their dedication to Lloth
(like that of a moth)
Is so great that they kill off their lovers

In the Drow city of Menzoberanzan
Survival is 'do as one can'
the Spiders Kiss,
or the snake whips hiss
So creatures of light have them banned.

A Dark Elf lizard-rider
House DuĈOrdens best fighter
His name was Dinin
But 'cause he was sinnin'
They turned him into a drider.

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Submitted By: edsDrizzt
These are all my origional *clean* limericks...hope you enjoy;-}

There once was a man from Bermuda
Who ate far too much Gouda
He ate it on bread,
Or as a cheese spread,
Or as a strange homage to Buddha.

There once was a man from Beirut
It seems he had nothing to do
It was much too quiet,
so he started a riot
Just look at the thousands he slew!

There once was a man from Bangkok
who sat on the edge of the dock
he fished off the pier
while drinking a beer
and skipping little rocks

Three budweiser frogs
look like they've gone to the dogs
they sit on the pier,
while drinking a beer
And dream of their good old bogs

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Submitted By: Joanne Massey
There once wa a teacher: Miss Goater
Who decided to buy a new motor
She drove to the lake
but drove in by mistake
And now her poor car is a floater!

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Submitted By: Yvonne Sam
There was a young woman from Loom
who wore a black ribbon around her womb
to remind her she said
of her husband now dead
and what put him into his tomb.

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Submitted By: Bluebird
This is for Star Trek Fans.
Trekkies will understand the inside joke.

Bones McCoy, that old Star Trek physician,
Has passed on to a heavenly mission.
No more will he say
To Kirk, "By the way,
I'm a doctor, Jim, not a magician."

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Submitted By: Virva Tommd
There once was man named Bill
who swallowed a nuclear pill
the doctor said chough
but the darn thing went off
and they found his head in Brazil

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Mail Box Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised July 1999