Submitted By: blitz
There was a young man from Goa
who had a large pet boa
And everytime it ate
t'would regurgitate
the bones of people on tour.
Submitted By: ANGELA_6913
There once was a girl named Sue
She never ever knew what to do
Dumb as could be
Plain as a tree
I'm not lying cause this is all true
Submitted By: Ben Jacobs
A boy named Peter was in love with a girl
Who dissed him cold and wouldn't give him a twirl.
But he hit the number,
Got rich as a cucumber,
Now he disses her and rocks another girl's world.
Submitted By: Ben Jacobs
There was a young man from Brooklyn,
Who was known to be part of Crooklyn.
He would knock you in the head,
And leave you for dead.
And took what he stole back to Brooklyn.
Submitted By: RobD
My computer's my best friend you see,
It's better than any girlfriend could be,
Except it only has bugs,
Instead of nice juggs,
And a tendency to crash constantly.
Submitted By: Your Web Form
I was called by a fish in the sea.
He called out to my dog and me.
That came as a shock!
Didn't know fish could talk
And my dog said "Hey Neither did we!"
Submitted By: auntie
There was a young fellow named Mark
Who met up with a hammerhead shark
And said "Why would old Noah
Be so dumb as to stow-a
Mean critter like that in his ark?"
Submitted By: brenon DeRose
There once was an old man from mars
Who liked to go to the bars
He drank to much rum
And fell on his bum
And that was the old man from mars
Submitted By: Barry R. Tugendhaft
After reading so many of your Limericks, all of a sudden one
popped into my head about my dog, the first one I ever wrote.
It helps to have his last name one that rhymes so easily. He
already had his name when I got him so naturally I kept it.
I have a dog named Polar Bear,
So come in my yard if you dare,
He'll run up to you
For a quick pet or two,
And his tail will wag through the air.
Submitted By: cid arm
A woman who lived in Seattle
Loved to have lunch with the cattle.
"I don't care for the food,
But the table talk's good--
No gossip and trivial prattle."
Submitted By: dom martia
An acrobat pilot once said'
"Today I shan't eat buttered bread.
I have quite a fear
It'll come out my ear
And plaster itself on my head."
Submitted By: Evelyn
A man not reknown for his grace
Was dissatisfied with his place.
"I -do- have some skill;
I'll be famous, I will!"
Then he tripped and fell flat on his face.
Submitted By: John
There was a young chap named Beh,
Who studied and studied all day,
When came his exam,
He got in a jam,
And he didn't know what to say.
Then in a flash he started,
Throught pages and pages he darted,
And not being dumb,
The answers did come,
And his volumes needed a truck to be carted.
The examiner did frown as he looked up and down
Through all the volumes he sighted,
And he said with a sigh
What a gas, brilliant guy !
This fellow will surely be knighted.
Submitted By: ciara
There was a young women named Trish,
Whose eyes looked like those of a fish.
They popped out of thier sockets,
at the speed of rockets,
And he caught them both in a dish!
Submitted By: jodi
there once was a man named stan
who had to go to the can
so he ran to the john
but the boys bathroom was gone
so he went to the girls instead.
Submitted By: Katie Kenworthy
There once was a girl and a guy
They both looked at the big sky
They said "It is time,
To make all things rhyme,
Come on my dear sweetie pie."
Submitted By: Allie Nagel
I just moved to Hawaii
I formerly lived in Kauai
Everything's green
And no one is mean
And I just found an amphorae
Submitted By: Allie Nagel--->Dedicated To Corinn
I have an imaginary friend named TTed
Who does tricks while standing on his head
He has brown hair
And doesn't have a care
"I'm just an imaginary friend" said TTed!
Submitted By: Hejira Hayes
About my uncle who maims,
who always plays strategy games.
He killed a cat.
Would've been that's that.
Except it's me who he blames.
Submitted By: Henry
There was an Old Man from Cavy,
Who was once in the navy;
He lived in a cot,
that he thuoght was a lot,
'Cause he was an Old Man from Cavy
Submitted By: The Bard of Burnaby
There was a man named Al Zymer
Who cooked his egg with a timer
He said with grin
As it ran down his chin
Some days the yolks on me!
Submitted By: Bryan Weber
Writing a limererick's easy,
Demands the imbecile greasy,
Said I, "Meter and verse
Aren't a terrible curse,
The trick is to make it sound cheesy."
Submitted By: joe blue
There once was a lady named Cager
Who as the result of a wager
consented to fart
the intire oboe part
of Motzarts quartet in F Major.
Submitted By: megan
i have a friend named alysha lamay
she fell down the stairs one day
they all turned around
as she fell to the ground
but don't worry, she's okay
Submitted By: megan
there once was a man from japan
every day he ran and he ran
he fell on his face
and he lost the race
now he's known as clumsy dan.
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised June 1999