Nice Limericks

Page 22

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Submitted By: Paul O'Dowd
There once was a peacock who was blue,
and oneday it was cooked in a stew:
T'was slopped in a kieser,
and ate none the wiser,
the deliciously good peacock of blue.

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Submitted By: Dan Horner
A favorite pastime of mine
is to pi a new value assign
I'd fix it at 3
cause it's easier you see
than 3.14159

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Submitted By: Justin
There once was a fellow from Perth,
Who was born on the date of his birth,
He married a woman named Beth,
Who died on the date of her death,
They then flew to Dirth!!!

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Submitted By: D.G.
There once was a girl named Tilly.
Who had a brother named brother named Billy.
She stepped on his toes,
And punched his nose.
That's the truth, really!

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Submitted By: Gonz+
A fellow ate too many beans
And blew the seat out of his jeans.
When he did this he said,
"I need needle and thread.
You know I don't like to make scenes!"

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Submitted By: Shashana M. Wescott
There once was a nice mellow flower
Who she had crazy tremendous power
She was yellow and blue
She does want to know you
But she has to go cause it's her hour!

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Submitted By: Pablo-Luigi
There once was a duck named Brulikken,
Who was colder than the dickens,
So he put on a clove,
Jumped in a stove,
And soon became fried chicken.

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Submitted By: Chris Weiss
There once was a toad in the road,
the toad in the road's name was cload,
then along came a car,
and spread him afar,
and now cload is part of the road.

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Submitted By: yukee
once there was a little han
who lived in north vietnam
one day he went out walking
and found a sniper stalking
now hes a dead little span.

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Submitted By: Andrew Curtis
There once was a man with a smile
That was seen from over a mile
If you did good he grinned
The same if you sinned
But not if you yelled, "Sieg Heil!"

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Submitted By: Nikki
There once was a lady named Suzy,
Who was feeling the slightest bit woozy.
She almost threw up
After just waking up
To find herself in a jacuzzi!

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Submitted By: Jeremy Snow
There once was a man from Arabia,
Who had a bad case of hysteria
He threw open the door
Pulled out some C-4
And then he blew up the whole area!!

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Submitted By: Melissa Ngo
High in the canyon, lived an Eagle,
His name was Beagle,
He saw a beautiful girl,
Who was wearing a pearl,
She turned out to be a Sea Gull.

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Submitted By: Jeff R. Tret
There once lived two St. Bernard dogs
Who thoroughly enjoyed climbing logs
When one of them fell
He went to heaven, not hell
And the other now likes to eat frogs

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Submitted By: Naomi
There once was a man named Artin
Who's relatives all were fartin'
He went to the loo
Invented a shoe
And then became known as Doc Martin

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Submitted By: anonymous
There once was a wind up mouse
He lived in a very small house
his tail was so white
that he got into a fight
and stole his "opponent's" spouse

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Submitted By: Brian Shaner
There once was a student in school;
Who thought that he was real cool,
He had alot of activity,
He did classwork with rapidity,
Therefore he is doing well in school.

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Submitted By: Crystal Mulach
A boy with rainbow colored hair,
Went to the amazing town fair,
When he sat down to eat,
They gave him mystery meat,
And he threw the meat in the air!

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Submitted By: Josh Carlton
A burglar who wasn't so bright,
Broke into a large bank one night,
He tripped and fell to the ground,
Made a large sound,
And proved that he wasn't so bright.

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Submitted By: Michael and Becky2
There once was a scorp named Mork,
His tail was shaped like a fork.
When it was windy,
He met up with Mindy,
And soon had a gift from the stork.

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Submitted By: james stevens
There once was a clown in the circus
Who sought a fine true purpose
So he researched the New Age
He studied every page
But all he could find was a porpoise

There once was a girl from Burrum Heads
Who wore her hair all in dreds
But the progress assocation
Said it was bad for the nation
So she died it in greens and reds

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Submitted By: Jenny
Silly old Billy Bob Joe
He accidentally stubbed his big toe.
He thought he was dying,
For days he was crying,
Over his ridiculous tale of woe.

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Submitted By: Heather
I'm not that attractive, I swear
I haven't been blessed with much hair
My face I don't mind it
Because I'm behind it
It's the people out front who I scare!

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Submitted By: Marty Doff
There once was girl who liked tarts,
She also did enormously big farts.
While playing on day,
she blew off her uncle's toupee,
All because she did a big fart.

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Submitted By: Frankie Angrisani
There once was a boy named Frankie
Who refused to use a hanky
When his nose would run
He wasn't any fun
Because he would get really cranky.

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Mail Box Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised May 1999