Submitted By: Laura Scheible, Age 8
There once was a girl who liked tea.
She was in a class with Miss Bee.
Her sister liked art.
And was very smart.
What was her name? Laura - that's me!
Submitted By: lindsey
There once was a girl named jacqui
who sat in class and was wacky
she was very silly
who knew she like willy?
though some people say shes a bit tacky.
Submitted By: Herman
A programmer from Silicon Valley
Felt tired in his belly
Then, not dumb
He designed the millennium bomb
And went home to his Nelly
Submitted By: Jazmin
I wish that I was just like you
So I could be beautiful, too.
I am sad and upset
That we ever met
Because now I want to be you...
Submitted By: Sophie
Azy was a very lazy daisy
because her eyes were exceptionly hazy
she was bold and buff
but she was not very tough
because she was a lazy daisey
Submitted By: SCHUELLER RAPHAEL
There was an old woman whose cat
Was starving and ate a big rat
But the rat was too tall
And the cat was too small
So the poor greedy cat became fat.
Submitted By: Colin Callahan age 8
There once was a small boy name Willy,
You have to admit he was quite silly,
Then, he started to slip,
Then you heard a rip,
Then he came home and became chilly.
Submitted By: Jessica Sowers
There once was a cat that purred,
"I want milk instead of curd!"
He went walking at noon
And was chased by a 'coon
Into a pile of turd!
Submitted By: Stephy
A Manchester Man thought it hip
To travel upon a great ship
He didn't realize,
As he said his goodbyes,
That this voyage would not be roundtrip
Submitted By: Michael Nguyen
There was a soccer player named Jay
Who lived under LBJ Freeway
He lived with a dog
and a frog named Pog
But one day it was the end of Jay
Submitted By: Janelle
In the summer I go to the beach
though Hawaii is just out of reach
I get really tan
and I cruise in my van
before then my skin was once peach
Submitted By: Irrigon Hater
All of the people of Luty
Possessed most tremendous beauty.
But they all were slugged
With a big ugly-club.
And now the face looks like the booty.
Submitted By: Bob Davies
Some men for just one woman pine
They're happy with one valentine.
How much more fun,
To have more than one.
Alas, many femmes, little time.
Submitted By: Tiffany(12)
There once was a man named Manny
Who took care of three kids who were dandy
Because of the way he was named
They made him ashamed
And they all called him "nanny"
Submitted By: Justin Smith
There once was a man named Durban
Who drove a big huge Suburban
But he crashed his huge Chevy
Right into the levy
Because he drank too much Bourbon
Submitted By: Katie
There once was a man named Jack
One day he threw out his back
He fell off the ladder
And made a big clatter
but the lights never went back
Submitted By: Fran
From an ancient Egyptian papyrus
A professor translated a virus
It was rather terrific
For an old Hieroglyphic
His computer was cursed by Osiris.
Submitted By: Aaron Besner
There once was a boy who saw a cat
That was mean and hairy and fat
He was black and white
Oh! what a sight
It's amazing how it looked like a rat!
Submitted By: Misha Tadjikov
There once was a desendant from hell,
Who had a really bad crappy smell,
He gathered people's souls,
He was wrecked in the balls,
There is nothing left to tell.
Submitted By: Miss Amy
Jimmy did not know what to do,
In fact, Jimmy had not a clue.
He asked his mother,
And then his brother,
Cause that book was long over-due!
Submitted By: Miss Amy
I burped a purple bubble,
It got me into trouble.
I was astounded,
For I was then grounded,
So then I blew a double!
Submitted By: Joe Bob Schlotski
There was a man from New York,
all he ate was pork.
He won't eat with a spoon,
so we'll see him real soon.
Cause I stole his only fork.
Submitted By: Gabriel Bielawski
There once was a man from Berlin
He had an incredibly big chin
He sat on a rock
And fell off the dock
His humongous nose threw him in
Submitted By: Carly Stitt
The Book
There once was a wonderful book,
But it had such a terrible look,
It's cover was tattered,
But if that really matters,
You can call me a back-handed crook!
Submitted By: Mags
There once was a girl named Maggie,
whose pants were big and raggy.
One day when she coughed,
her pants came right off,
and from then on her pants weren't as baggy.
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised April 1999