Submitted By: john downs
there once was a man named dave
who had one foot in the grave
his family cried
to hear he had died
but, surprise, the foot wasn't dave's.
Submitted By: David Pham
There once was a dog named Het.
And he loved to bet, bet, bet!
He won a game.
Riches and fame.
But ended up in the net.
Submitted By: jessica newton
my mums big fat bottom
i wish i had forgotten
she let off some gas
a very big mass
my mums big fat bottom
Submitted By: Richard C. Long
There was a young person I met,
Who posted a rhyme on the net,
Though I told him he might,
Lose his copyright,
He submitted it without regret.
copyright 1999
Submitted By: Jess
There was an old man with a beard.
What happened was what he had feared.
2 chickens and a crow,
3 pigeons, don't you know,
Had all made nests in his beard.
Submitted By: roger
There was a young lady from Delhi
Who had a big bulge for a belly
Her pants were so tight
We had to take flight
cause the noises she made were so smelly
Submitted By: Andrew S. Von Dem Hagen
There once was a cat named Toby
He's fond of the cheese called Colby
He hates to catch mice
But that would be nice
There once was a cat named Toby
Submitted By: Garret Gazlay
While sitting the devil came by
and tempted me "Try just to lie."
I started to talk
but my mouth turned to chalk
and worse I just swallowed a fly.
Submitted By: Tracey
There once was a cat who lived in a zoo
Who was locked in a cage feeling blue
So he ate the guards
went to Menards
And still had nothing to do.
Submitted By: Your Web Form
(A compliment of respect to Ogden Nash's poem)
While reading the poem by Nash
I developed a rash in a flash
the symtoms were due
to the fly in the flue
And I think Nash should publish for cash!
Submitted By: Garret Gazlay
While singing a song in the snow
I remembered a time long ago
when stories of old
were told in the cold
and the list'ners would freeze just to know
Submitted By: Garret Gazlay
If traveling left towards the right
you see a blue dog in a fight
my conclusion would be
(and I hope you would see!)
you're asleep in your bed late at night
Submitted By: Cindy
There once was a lion named Perry
Whose coat was all bald and not hairy
He went to a pig
Who made him a wig
Now Perry's a cat that's quite merry.
Submitted By: Amber N. Johnson
There was a old goat,
Who wore a old coat,
He lived in a castle,
He thought his maids were a hastle,
He sat in a old boat.
Submitted By: Alex
I'm Alex at Arrowhead
Write poems? I'd rather be dead.
The verse and the rhyme
waste all of my time
Web surfing I'll do instead
Submitted By: Stephanie Schierbeek
There once was a little kitten,
Who loved to play with a mitten,
He fell in a hole,
His head hit a mole,
And he plays a game of spitten'.
Submitted By: Lanny H.
I said to the bug in the sink
"Hey, Partner, do you want a drink?"
His name is Garcia
But he's not a pet chia
But he drank till he started to shrink.
Submitted By: Herman
"Luckily", said the dean of Saint Patrick
"our saint was no jew but a catholic,
and therefore let's pray,
because we don't have today,
eat matzos with lots of garlic".
Submitted By: Leslie Engle
There once was a teacher from hell,
who never paid attnetion to the bell,
he made us all late
for a very important date,
and thats why our grades all fell.
Submitted By: Herman
An Irish immigrant from Chappaquiddick
Said once to Mary-Jo Kopechnick
I hate to say
But on St. Patrick's day
I always get sad and home sick
Submitted By: Sym
There once was a hero named Jim,
For every battle fought he would win,
With magic he banished,
The evil lords vanquished,
And everyone paid homage to him.
Submitted By: Herman
An Australian bloke from Sydney
Enjoyed every pie, even kidney
But on the other hand
Something he couldn't stand
Was eating humble pie with his wife Whitney
Submitted By: Katherine Brown
There is an old school on the bluff
The courses there are hard sho-nuff
The teachers are crude
Some are downright rude
And you can tell they're all full of stuff!
Submitted By: Shell
There once was a girl named Ty
She spoted a green hairy fly
She watched it slowly land
Crushed it with her hand
Then she licked it up and said bye
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised April 1999