Submitted By: Kathy Clark
There once was a girl called Kate,
Who was in for an amazing fate
She said her words wrong
Whilst singing a song,
And complained about her non existent weight
Submitted By: Elisha Heuw
There was a fat animal called pig
Who loved to dig and dig
He rolled in the mud
And chewed on his cud
And then went to have just one cig
I love pigs
Submitted By: Kelli Portwood
The toilets in my dorm smell bad,
And this makes me feel rather sad,
There's foul smelling vapor,
And no toilet paper,
And this makes me feel really mad.
Submitted By: Elaine MacKellar
There was a young girl called Louise
With a passion for Parmesian cheese
She was so fascinated
When out it came grated
Whenever she started to sneeze!
Submitted By: Tonya
There once was a group of teens
Who only wore brown jeans.
They went to school,
And thought they were cool,
But they all looked like pinto beans.
Submitted By: anon
There was a young man from Co.Dub
He was a regular in all the pubs
His wife made him get sober
He started in October
And joined the AA club
Submitted By: Frederico Albana
There's not much that's worse than a cold
And cough syrup's worth more than gold
I need sympathy
For my misery
I'm sickly, that's what I've been told
Submitted By: slug monkey
there once was a young boy named boo.
he had an urgent desire to poo.
but he was in class,
and didn't want to pass gas.
unfortunately, he had to achoo.
Submitted By: Katrina
#1
I know this guy named Dan,
He is a very cute man,
When he walks down the hall,
all the girls fall,
To wake them you need a fan!
#2
There once was a man at school,
who was totally awesomely cool,
His first name was Dan,
he was a young man,
Who totally awesomely ruled!!
Submitted By: Nathan
There once was a young man named Jerry,
He usually spent his days quite merry,
One day he got high,
And felt he could fly,
And jumped off a bridge like a ferry.
Submitted By: Carissa Ambrose
There once was a small green clover
Located in the city of Dover
The wind blew it away
On this very sunny day
And now it is six cities over!!
Submitted By: Brittney
There once was an old man from Spain
Who liked to play on a train,
While fooling around
He stumbled to the ground,
Now he limps around with great pain.
Submitted By: Barney Mitchell
For many miles my little Volks did roam
So bright and shiny and covered with chrome
On the day that it died
I wept and I cried
Now she's parked at the OLD VOLKS home
Submitted By: Your Web Form
In order to write a good limerick
You must first come up with a gimerick
then write it down fast
'cause the thought seldom lasts
and repeat it 10 times with a grinerick
Submitted By: Shannon Bower
There once was a fellow named Don,
he Wrote poems on the walls of the john,
While composing a verse,
Pipes 'neath his posterior burst,
For three weeks did the thrill linger on!
Submitted By: Joen Ellen
There once was a belle of old Natches
Whose clothing was always in patches
When comment arose
on the state of her clothes
She replied "when ah itches, I scratches"
Submitted By: Becky
There was a woman who lived in a shoe
She had no kids she had nothing to do
She went to find kids to buy
But instead found a guy
And they hopped away in a kangaroo
Submitted By: Dora Mendoza
There once was a fat boy named rick
Who hit his head with a big brick.
He touched his big head
And jumped on the bed.
He felt he would be very sick.
Submitted By: Amber
The Titanic is very tall
It is made of metal walls
It hit an iceberg and sunk
That really stunk
The ship made a big fall
Submitted By: Hollie
There once was a guy who sailed
On the Titanic and fell
He fell on a peg
And broke his leftleg
and no longer could ring the bell.
Submitted By: Akita
Titanic set sail for the sea.
All the people on her that could be.
She hit a giant berg.
Then sank into the merg.
She wasn't spotted till years past '73.
Submitted By: Kayla
A maidian voyage of the titanic
The people on it got in a panic
One night Titanic sank to the floor
Some people survived with an ore
The people were very frantic
Submitted By: Joannie
There was a ship that was grand,
It even had a great band.
It went in a motion,
To the floor of the ocean.
So now the ship is part of the sand.
Submitted By: Heather
There once was a girl named Heather,
who's skin was as smooth as leather,
she always was late,
she couldn't get a date,
and she always knew the weather!
Submitted By: Jaime
once there was this beautiful ship
it rose up to its very high tip
it sunk like a rock
but not like a sock
one man even broke his hip
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised April 1999