Submitted By: Sheila Dennis
There once was a girl named Sheila
Her friends always called her Beila
She went to kurby
And found a furby
She named the furby Meila
Submitted By: Eric Dey
There once was a boy named Eric,
Who once had a friend named Derik,
He was all so crazy,
Who felt kinda lazy,
Becase he had to write a limerick.
Submitted By: mel
I heard of a doctor named Jack, Whose
patients never come back.
He gives them a hug,
And then pulls the plug,
And their families get no money back.
Submitted By: Jordan Macdonald
There once was a fat cow
He was hit by a plow
When he started to scream
He realized it was a dream
Then he got up and said WOW!
Submitted By: Adeline
There was a King,
Who went for his drink,
He met many girls
And gave them pearls,
And became a non-living thing.
Submitted By: Becky & Sue
There was once a dog
Who liked playing with hogs
They sat
And they would chat
While playing with pogs
Submitted By: Nicholas Scramuzza
There was a skater named Arlo
He had a brother named Carlo
He listened to ska
Did not like his pa
That was the story of Arlo
Submitted By: Patrick
There once was a man named Paul
Who was almost seven feet tall
He played hoops every night,
But his game was a freight
Because he couldn't dunk the ball
Submitted By: Old Dick
There was a seedy old poet named Dick
Who tried to write a good limerick
His effors energetic
Gave results so pathetic
That hearing made his cohorts quite sick!
Submitted By: David Pidgeon
There once was a bearded lady
Who was so very crazy
When she hit her head
They said "Good she's dead!"
Now she's dead because she was lazy.
Submitted By: Unknown
There was a man of Great Britian.
Many people told him he was not livin'.
So when he went to the mall,
He stole a yellow shall.
While he was in jail, he was not jammin'.
Submitted By: Colleen
There was a lad from Ireland.
He went out to search for the fire land.
He came upon she,
Who broke her own knee.
Then they got married in Scotland.
Submitted By: keisha waguespack
There wants was a girl named Carlie
who thought she was hottie
but when no one got her
she thought she was even hotter
until there was a guy named potter.
Submitted By: nicole donegan
There was a girl from L.A.,
who liked to take ballet,
she was very bad,
it made her sad,
but she did it anyway.
Submitted By: suzzy
I knew a guy named Bob
Who had a friend named Rob
They got into a fight
Over a stupid kite
One was found as a blob
Submitted By: Kristi
There once was a cat named Paws
Who was cute, but had very sharp claws.
One day they got stuck
In the side of a truck.
There ONCE was a cat named Paws!
Submitted By: Jordan Walerstein
There once was a man from Beijing,
Who was undefeated in the boxing ring,
Then he was bit,
By a mean nitwit,
And the bell went ding-a-ling.
Submitted By: womblie
There once was a parrot called polly
who found that suck seed ing was folly
Now all of his chums
have cast iron gums
and his beak makes a wonderful brolly
Submitted By: Christina Bieber
There was an old man from Blackheath
Who sat on his set of false teeth
Said he, with a start
"Oh Lord, Bless my heart!
I've bitten myself underneath!"
There once was a chef named Maurice
Who always used way too much grease.
His chicken was fine;
His fries were devine,
But his dinners just made me obese.
An old woman from Cincinnati
Who just a little bit batty
Ate a used hockey puck
And then died--rotten luck.
She thought t'was a hamburger patty!
Submitted By: Sean H.
There once was a cat named Midnight
Who acted as high as a kite
He ran around all day
With himself he did play
Still we found him a delight
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised February 1999