Submitted By: Laura Wilson
On October 1st it was said
In thirty more days you'll be dead
So with that in mind
Rather than whine
Drink till you see double instead
Submitted By: Laura Wilson
Said the man with a wink of his eye
"But I love you" and then the reply
From the girl, it was heard
"You are truly absurd!
I have only this moment walked by!"
Submitted By: Heather Pelz
There once was a man of Blackheath
Who sat on his false pair of teeth
He said with a start
"Oh dear, bless my heart
For I've bitten myself underneath!"
Submitted By: Jesse Applegate
There once was a dude with a 'fro
His name was Stayin' Alive Moe
He picked up a chick
went to see a flick
and he came home with no dough.
Submitted By: Anne
There once was a man from Bulgaria
Who went by the name of Sir Paria
He drank Barley Green
Then became tall and lean
But soon became big and didn't caria'
Submitted By: Cheral
I once had a slimy pet frog
That did nothing but sit on a log
and then one day he
got stung by a bee
and ran right through the yorkshire fog
Submitted By: A. N. Other
There was a team called Rangers
Who's players were all very dangerous
They kicked and hacked
Punched and attacked
Any other teams skillful angels.
Submitted By: John Diamantopoulos
My grandaughter's name is Alyssa,
And when I don't see her I missa,
She just turned age nine,
And she's doing just fine,
And I think when I see her I'll kissa.
Submitted By: Bob Beasley
This is one I wrote years ago while in the
real estate development business.
I'm here at the planning commission,
Waiting patiently with my petition.
I arrived in the fall,
Set up camp in the hall.
It's spring now and I'm goin' fishin'.
Submitted By: Elena
I sat next to the duchess at tea
It was just as I feared it would be:
Her rumblings abdominal
Were simply abominable
And everyone thought it was me!
Submitted By: Rachel Kee
There once was a boy named Lenny
Who liked a girl named Jenny
He acted like a fool
Jumped into an empty pool
And found a copper penny!
Submitted By: DoNoVaN
there once was a girl from LA
she always said "like okay!"
she slipped on a snail
and broke her nail
and then she exclaimed "like no way!"
Submitted By: Sophia Johnson
Algebra is hard every day!
x=what? Oh! No way!
variable expressions
cause such depressions
someday, algebra will pay!
Submitted By: Matt Mullineaux
There once was a boy from Nantucket
Who went to the barn for a bucket.
When he got to the door,
His foot was so sore,
That into the bucket he stuck it.
Submitted By: Lorraine Sheldon
A zebra was painting his boat
And spilled paint on his striped coat.
Aghast, he yelled "Yipes!
Where are my stripes?!"
And promptly jumped into the moat.
Submitted By: Lorraine Sheldon
There was a young fellow named Pete
Who was so awfully sweet.
He asked me to waltz,
But oh! fault of faults!
He stepped all over my feet.
Submitted By: Mumbo Jumbo
There once was a man called Buck,
Who had the most terrible luck,
He got on a punt,
And fell off the front,
Then got bitten to death by a duck.
Submitted By: Ron Wax
action:
there was a young lady named Bright
who travelled much faster than light.
she left one day
in a relative way
and returned on the preceding night.
-author unknown
reaction:
a Lorimar director named Dwight
tried to film the travels of Bright.
he said, with a smirk,
"filming won't work,
'cause the frames unphoto in flight."
Submitted By: Your Web Form
There once was a calico named Kitty
Who was exceedingly pretty.
With her eyes of green,
She could see everything
Even while traveling to Souix City.
Submitted By: Danielle Bradley
There once was a lady named Bob
Who was always in a constant sob.
When asked, "Why do you cry?"
She said, "I do not know why,
But I think it's because my name is Bob."
Submitted By: Lori Lohrer
One day when I was bad
My dad got quite mad
He asked me to be good
And I told him that I would
Then he was quite glad
Submitted By: Max Young
There was a young man from Perth
Who forgot to tighten his girth
He went to a party
And looked like a smarty
When his pants fell down to the earth
(by Jesse Young 12 Y.O.)
Once a road worker named Mr Click
He worked with a shovel and pick
Until one fateful day
Someone took them away
So he went back to work with a stick
(Max Young)
There once was a man from the brook
Who said, My, what a wonderful book!
I can make all my fishes
Into nice tasting dishes
Now that I've learned how to cook!
(Max Young)
Submitted By: Max Young
There once was colonel named Clink
Who went to an ice skating rink
He fell down a drain
And was not seen again
Until he turned up in the sink
(Max Young)
There was a young poet called Finn
Words flowed from his pen thick and thin
His reason and rythme
(He thinks so sublime)
Have all ended up in the bin
(Max Young)
Submitted By: Kylie
A vivacious young frog on a spree,
Ate a grand meal in Pa'ree;
The chef said: "Ah, ha!
"those legs ... ooh la la
"I'll give you prosthesis for free!!"
Submitted By: Eric Zawistowski
There once was a man named Joe
who would ride his bike with Moe
he'd ride all day
and then he would say
hey Moe where now will we go?
by Eric Zawistowski
age 9
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised November 1998