Submitted By: Frederico Albana
I took my sick cat to the vet
She said she'd make good of my pet
She gave it a shot
Now more often than not
My cat's doesn't know that we've met
Submitted By: Frederico Albana
My cat and my dog always fight
They scratch, and they kick and they bite
But I wouldn't care
If they pulled out their hair
As long as I get sleep at night
Submitted By: DAVE
There was an old man of Calcutta
Who had the most terrible stutter
He said p p p please
Pass me the ch ch ch cheese
And the b b b b b butter
Submitted By: Your Web Form
There once was a boy who walked on his toes
His mother told him,"Your gonna fall on your nose!"
He chose not to listen
Soon the ground he was kissin'
Cause he didn't listen to his mother he chose.
Submitted By: Christopher Mai
I knew a man of the coast
who always sat on a post
it suddenly got cold
so he let go of his hold
and called for some hot buttered toast
Submitted By: Jordan
There once was a man of Winky,
Whose boat did one day sinky.
When he arose from the water,
He was greeted by an otter,
Who politely bit off his pinky.
Submitted By: Gore Loro
The was a notorious citizen of France
who thought he was in a horrible trance
when he woke up one night,
found himself bound tight
On a seat being extradited aboard Air France
Submitted By: Amy Wright
There once was a fellow named Sam
Whose diet was beer nuts and spam
He thought it was neat
this generic lunch meat
and said "Please give me more canned ham."
Submitted By: Samantha
Juicy watermelons I like
When I ride down the street on my bike
but its the seeds I hate
which make me late
when I spit them out on the turnpike
Submitted By: Spectre
There once was a town called Honey
And this town was O so Funny!
All the people there
Run down the street in pairs
And race each other to the dunny!
Submitted By: Emma G!
Heh, I wrote this one in grade four :-)
There once was a walrus called Lou,
Who lived in a place called the zoo.
He said to his friend,
"Do my teeth ever end?!
I can't see past them, can you?"
Enjoy!
Submitted By: Sarah Tomkins
I once saw a dog with two heads
Their names were Ed and Fred
They were really dorky
And really porky
They were alive but now they are dead.
Submitted By: Henry Mucha
There was a girl named Elaine
Who fainted while boarding a Spanish Air plane.
When a tourist asked, "How can that be ?"
They said, "Well, sir, you see",
"The brain, in Spain, fails mainly on the plane."
A student pilot, flying o'er Spain,
Crashed landed atop a Spanish train.
When the inquiry board asked why,
He did reply,
"In Spain, a plane falls mainly on the train."
Submitted By: DSM
There once was a lady from Littlerock
Who kept chickens and ducks in a littleflock.
They stayed in the pen...
Well at least now and then
'cause her garden so tasty a littleplot.
Submitted By: jeff switzer
stolen from readers digest
There once was a man from the sticks
Who liked to compose limericks
but he gave up the sport
cause he wrote em too short
Submitted By: Punster
There's an arthritic lady in Fakenham
Whose joints have a worsening ache in 'em.
Her pain level's rising
Which isn't surprising:
She's GOT pills, but hasn't been takin' 'em!
Submitted By: Ashley Walaitis
The reason why you go to school
Is to learn one important rule.
Feed the brain
Or go insane,
Anyone can be a fool!
Submitted By: Your Web Form
Under the spreading chestnut tree
The village half-wit sat,
Amusing himself
By abusing himself'
And catching the stuff in his hat.
Submitted By: Your Web Form
There one was a man named Cobane,
He like to sniff cocaine,
He was messed up in the head,
And shot himself dead,
So his wife went quite insane.
Submitted By: Sam Hollar
I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs
This download's so long I'm nearly numb.
Oh! whenever will it end
I thought Netscape was a friend
Twiddle deedle, tweedle didle, tweedle dum.
Sam Hollar
Submitted By: Stefan Luhn
There was a girl called Hanna
She comes out of Havannah
She is very silly
and married Willi
but still live with her Mama
written by Ricarda, Denis, Robert, Stefan
Submitted By: Stefan Luhn
I sit in the classroom with 30 degree,
And I have a dream to become free,
But there is a teacher
Who is talking like a preacher.
That is the only reason he has to be.
written by Robert u. Steffi
Submitted By: Stefan Luhn
Sandy had a red chewing-gum
pumping air in the lesson was fun.
When the doorbell rang
there was a big bang.
Because of that Sandy is on the run.
written by Jana, Silvia, Mandy, Susi
Submitted By: Stefan Luhn
There was a boy played basketball.
When ever he run he also fall.
He run between the guys.
But his dream never realized.
Because his body was too small.
written by Susanne, Katharina
Submitted By: Stefan Luhn
There were some stupid pupils at school
who wanted to build there a swimming-pool.
They swim in all weather
that doesn't matter
because they wanted to be cool.
written by Anna, Kati, Christine, Andrea
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised August 1998