Submitted By: Jellybean12
There once was a guy named Jake,
who had a very bad stomach ache.
He sat in his chair,
saying, "'Tis only fair,
for I ate the whole chocolate cake."
Submitted By: Eric
There once was a bomb from Bombay,
he had a very bad day,
so he got a match
and gave it a scratch
and blew himself away.
Submitted By: keegan walsh
There once was boy named Tom
Who had A very big bomb
It blew in is face
He flew into space
And that was the end of Tom.
Submitted By: rØB
In the morning I smell you breath
It reminds me of mortal death.
I could cry,
Or even die,
but I pray there are more Certs left.
Submitted By: Rhonda Fairman
A mosquito was heard to complain
The scientists had poisoned his brain
The cause of his sorrow
was Para-dichloro-
diphenyl-trichloro-ethane (DDT)
From my Grade 9 Science Class - 16 years ago
Submitted By: Kyle Crafton
There once was a man named Noodle,
He went out and bought a poodle,
When he returned,
His house was found burned,
So then he ate his poodle.
Submitted By: Jordan
There once was a man from Winky
Whose boat did one day sinky,
When he arose from the water
He was greeted by an otter,
Who politely bit off his pinky
Submitted By: Jessica Conn
There once was a very small bug.
Every one liked to call him Doug.
He walked on the cement,
And ended up getting bent.
Now he looks just like a slug.
Submitted By: Jessica Conn
There once was a man who liked to eat cream.
He always seemed to be in a crazy dream.
He found some gold,
And began to grow old,
Because that was all part of the scheme.
Submitted By: Caitlin
There once was a girl named Sue
who had a twin brother name Crew
Their little donkey would bray
all through the darn day
So they traded it for a cow saying, "Moo"
Submitted By: Your Web Form
There was a boy, did not fly
because he was very shy
so he went all the way home
to go listen to "BONE"
and eat a piece of pie
Submitted By: Lee
There once was a young man named Hank
Who loved being shot from a tank
His friends thought he was dumb
But the circus said "come!"
Now he laughs all the way to the bank
Submitted By: mark stirland
There once was a bomb loving nutter
who ate grenades with bread and butter
he died with a din
when his wife pulled the pin
now his hearts in a bit of a flutter
Submitted By: WillG
There once was a guy named Matt.
He played with a ball and bat.
When asked why,
He would reply:
"I just wanted to wear my hat"
Submitted By: Denny
There once was a cat named Tigger,
Who ate and got bigger and bigger.
She went on a diet,
but she just didn't buy it.
She quit and just got thicker!
Submitted By: Denny
There once was a bee named Buzz,
Who lived in a tree with his cuz.
His cuz kicked him out,
Buzz started to pout.
Now he is nice in everything he does!
Submitted By: chris Munn
Though Canucks should be gentle not rough,
There's one place where we strive to be tough
In that game played on ice
It pays not to be nice
And second is not good enough.
Submitted By: Ron Ostromecki
There once was a man from Trinity
who found the square root of infinity
But he got such fidgets
When he saw all those digits
He dropped Math and took up Divinity
Submitted By: Stephanie innes
There once was a girl named Snow White,
who was given an apple to bite.
She was kissed by a prince,
and then ever since,
life was so happy and bright!
Submitted By: Al Boothby
A farmer living near our town
Had a thumb exceedingly brown
He said, "With my rotten luck
If I planted a duck...
It wouldn't grow up, but down!"
Submitted By: Mark Franczyk
There once was a boy from New Guinea
Who found pleasure in laughing at me.
So one day near the town
With all others around
I flung the curt lad in the sea!
Submitted By: kelly
while riding my bike to the mall
i met a vampire named paul
he demanded a bite
my blood to excite
but i told him his teeth were too small
Submitted By: Murali
From the depths of the crypt at St Giles,
Came a scream that resounded for miles.
Said the Vicar,"Good gracious!
Has Father Ignatius
Forgotten the Bishop has piles?"
Submitted By: Your Web Form
There once was a boy by the name of Tom
who found a big bomb
he blew up his school
everyone thought it was so cool
but he realized that he couldn't go to the prom
Submitted By: roy libby
There once was a girl from an isle,
whose Email I've read for a while.
Her humor so tart,
has captured my heart.
I'm hoping my number she'll dial.
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised June 1998