Submitted By: Rachel Seet
This limerick which I think is not really
humorous is written by me, What do you think?
A creature from Outer Space
With a perfectly horrible face
thought he would show the wind
how to blow
And was smartly put in his place.
Submitted By: SANDMAN
With a girl I once was in love
I thought she had come from above
I loved her eyes
- the bluest skies
but she treated me very rough (-ly)
Submitted By: Jennifer Stock
A limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical
The good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical
Submitted By: Your Web Form
A crazy young student from Shoreham
Made brown paper trousers and wore 'em
He looked nice and neat
Till he bent in the street
To pick up a pin ; then he tore 'em
Submitted By: Jim Strange
A tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot
Said the two to the tutor
Is it harder to toot
Or to tutor two tooters to toot!
Submitted By: Thivia Mogan
There was a boy named benny
Who didn't have a single penny
He searched his pocket
But only found a round gold locket
And with that he lived happily in a rocket!
Submitted By: shana
There once was a girl from Great Britain
Who carelessly sat on her kitten
Imagine her surprise
and the look in her eyes
when on the behind she was bitten
Submitted By: Henry M. Mucha
In the lobby of Hotel Royer
A grandmaster was bragging and shouting Oye! Oye!
Said the manager, "Get out !"
"I can't stand people who shout",
"And chess nuts boasting in an open foyer".
Submitted By: Skachick
There once was a man from Black Heath,
Who sat on a pair of false teeth.
He rose with a start,
and said,"God bless my heart,
I've bitten myself underneath!"
Submitted By: nick good
One day while combing my hair
I looked at my shoulder with a stare
What could it be?
Dandruff I see
I must get some brand new hair care.
Submitted By: Your Web Form
There was a young man, who loved football,
He was waiting for the NFL to call,
While watching games and drinking beer,
He watched his chin and gut grow near,
And now he's in no shape to play Foosball
Submitted By: A. Toth
There was a young man from Sidney
Who decided to donate a kidney
His Mom was in need
And he's a rare breed
Now they both enjoy, Mork & Mindy
Submitted By: Your Web Form
There was an old lady from Kalamazoo
didn't know what she wanted to do
So she paid a large fee
got her degree
And today, she can finally, tie her own shoe
Submitted By: Aaron Toth
There once was a man, named Bill Clinton
Who owned a cat named "Socks" from a kitten
He said," You know, Sock
Your the only friend that I Got"
Sock said,"Who the hell are you sh*****?
Submitted By: CapnEasy
I walked into a pet shop one day
Looking for what I cannot say
Cause I had three dogs,
A couple of hogs
And an armadillo with which to play
Submitted By: Laurissa Sigmund
There was a small child-
who was anything but mild-
he flew around the house-
and scared a little mouse-
the phone I surely dialed!
Submitted By: Bill Hallworth
There was a young curate from Kew
Who kept a tom cat in a pew
And taught it to speak
Alphabetical Greek
But it never got further than 'µ'.
Submitted By: donna and elyse
"blew" bird
there once was a bird colored blue
that would simply sit in the dew
one day it got wet
and so their it set
until the wind finally blew
Submitted By: Sunny
Custard and Mustard
There once was a guy from Kibble,
and all he could do was scribble.
he would use custard,
with bits of mustard.
Every so often he'd dribble.
Submitted By: Carolina Palmieri
There once was a very fat guy,
Who said "Oh, how I wish I could fly,"
So he made himself wings,
out of feathers and things,
But he couldn't get up very high.
Submitted By: Duane Botzek
Through a town (St. Peter, Mn.) a F5 twister did shoot
Leaving destruction, like a bombing, a vision of beirut
These words appeared praying while on my knees
My heart adhered saying, " You can take our trees"
" But you can't take away our roots"
Submitted By: jannaly carlson
There once was a man named Joe
Who went to the bank for some dough
He wore a mask
Then completed the task
and then decided to go
Submitted By: JACQUELINE
There once was a pig in New York.
The butcher said what good pork.
His knife went slish slash,
Cut open a gash,
Now the butcher he needs just a fork.
Submitted By: anonymous
There was an old man from Peru
who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He awoke through the night
With a terrible fright
And found it was perfectly true.
Submitted By: Marie Rivard
This is a limerick from one of my students:
There once was a lizard named Fred,
Who liked to sleep in his bed
His bed of concrete
Heck! It was the street!
And now you know why he's dead.
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised April 1998