Submitted By: Stimpson J. Cat
There once was a guy named Sam
Who never experienced spam
He gave it a shot
And liked it allot
From then on he disliked ham.
Submitted By: nobody
There once was a girl who was blue
One day she chose to sniff glue
She became high
She thought she could fly
Just because she didn't have anything to do
Submitted By: Emma Bunton
I once met a man from Alaska,
Who ate only bowls of Pasta,
He went away,
And too his dismay,
They never again make Pasta!!!
Submitted By: Laura Black
I once knew a man from leur,
He seemed to be very poor,
He won a great sum,
But fell on his bum,
And landed in a pile of manure.
I met a lady from Maine,
Who seemed to be insane
She tripped on her shoe,
And fell into some poo
Now she's insane with a stain.
I remember a fellow named Louie,
Who ate 17 bowls of chop- suey,
When the eighteenth was brought,
He became overwrought,
And we watched as poor Louie went Blooie!!
Submitted By: Jeff
I had a friend named Aimee,
and she always cared for me,
I love her with all my life,
anything for her I'll strife,
and now that we're together,
my life is in totally better!
Submitted By: Lacey Cope and Nichole Avitia 3rd grade
There once was a frog from a pond
Who hopped to a really long frond
She thought that she might
Escape from the light
And hide before she turned blonde
Submitted By: Melanie and Erin
There once was a monk who stepped in some funk,
when all of the sudden he was sprayed by a skunk,
he jumped in a river,
and called the skunk, "hither!"
and then that very same punk, he did dunk!
There once was a boy named Bill,
who had quite a fancy for Jill,
but like him she did not,
for he was full of snot,
so Bill got nil, and hooked up with Phil!
Submitted By: Janice Brady
There once was a man from Bombay
Who wore on his head a toupee
he thought that he might
give friends a delight
and remove his toupee for a day
Submitted By: Robert Allison
There once was a deer called Buck,
And into the garden he snuck,
he waited all night,
til' the time was right,
Then jumped out and got hit by a truck!
Submitted By: Peter
There once was a man named Jake
Who wanted to swim in a lake
But when he got in
He was very, very thin
And then he came out as a snake.
Submitted By: Amanda
There was a hillbilly named Shaw
Who envied his maw and his paw
To share in their life
He adopted his wife
And became his own father-in-law.
Submitted By: R.Phillips' 7th grade class
There once was this guy-DiCaprio
Whose acting was only so-so
He's cute, he's so fine
I wish he were mine
To a wedding chapel we would go.
Submitted By: Katherine Kuckens
Ferrets live by a code tried and true
From which humans can benefit, too.
Teach your sons and daughters
To do unto otters,
As otters would do unto you.
Submitted By: Karen McCombie
There was a young girl from Oliver,
And all the men did follow her,
Until a guy came along,
And played her his song,
And all the rest quit call'n her.
Submitted By: nobody
The cowboy came stumbling through the door,
Then from his nagging wife her heard a great roar.
He just took another sip,
As it dribbled from his lip,
He just smiled, as he hit the floor!
Submitted By: The Mad Mexican
Massive consumption of alcohol
Shriveled my brain to a little ball
and now i don't think
I just drink, drink, and drink
cause that's what I do best of all.
Submitted By: jessica brailsford
there was a young man who went for kentucky
and found he was very lucky
he got it for free
cause he was stung by a bee
and know he's as big as a bucky
Submitted By: Robin Liszak
One day, when Joey the snail
Stepped out to fetch his mail,
A human being
Without really seeing
Did step on poor Joey's tail.
Submitted By: Jana
There once was a girl from Gabor
She downed a whole case of two-four
She felt light in the head
And slurred words she had said
And then she passed out on the floor.
Submitted By: Biba
written by Edward Gorey....
A young woman who upon her divan
was attacked by a virile young man
"Such excess of passion
is quite out of fashion"
And she fractured his wrist with her fan
Submitted By: nobody
There was by brother Darryl
Who could not get along with Carol
They argued and fought
Carol was distraught
But in the end they both went home with a smile
Submitted By: Michelle Valenzuela
There once was a boy named Norman
Who went to a fine school named Sherman
His teacher's name was Mrs. Baumann
Norman's wish was to be a fireman.
Submitted By: M. H. Cook
I look at life with a view
Wondering about the new
I liked the past -
And the values that last
I wonder, are you frightened too?
Submitted By: Lezi He
There once was a little creature,
Who had an unusual feature.
He flew here from Mars,
To raid all the bars,
Then he got spanked by his teacher.
Submitted By: Lezi He
There once was a guy named Kyle,
Who always loved to smile.
He went to the fair,
Tripped over a bear,
Now there's a lawsuit file.
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised April 1998