Submitted By: Lordzer0
There once was a boater named Sam,
who when he was stuck in a jam,
jumped from his boat,
yet stayed afloat,
till he went right over the dam.
Submitted By: Boomer Jenkins
there once was a guy who ate shrooms
He took them and ate them in rooms
one day he dropped one
then put it on a bun
now when he farts, flowers bloom
Submitted By: Andre Ladd
There once was a boy from Quebec
Who bought a new stereo deck
He played it quite loud
In front of a crowd
And now his new deck is a wreck
Submitted By: Bilbo
There was a space telescope named Hubble
That produced images that appeared double
They sent up a rocket
Adjusted a socket
Oh!! how the engineers got out of trouble.
Submitted By: Jeneva Kelly
There once was a man named Ken
who came walking 'round the bend
he stepped on a tack
and said yakety-yack
then he had to pass wind.
Submitted By: valente panattoni
there was a young man who couldn't spell
he spent his life in grammatical hell
then one fine day
he got his end away
with an english teacher who promptly corrected him.
Submitted By: Ben
There once was a man who liked to bet
He even did it on the net
Then one bad day
The money went away
Now he's drowning in debt
Submitted By: Henry Martin Mucha
There was a guy named Jose
Who was nicknamed "no way".
He attended The Learning Academy;
His ambition was astronautics, not anatomy!
So now his nickname is "no weigh".
Submitted By: anita wells
It isn't a very hard trick
to sit down and write a limerick
Just give me some time
and two lines that rhyme
and I'll present you with something real slick.
Submitted By: Bill
There once was a woman from Clyde
who fell into an outhouse and died.
The next day her brother
fell into the other
and now they're in turd side by side.
Submitted By: Simhika Rao
There was a farmer from Leeds,
Who ate six packets of seeds,
It soon came to pass ,
He was covered with grass,
And he couldn't sit down for the weeds
Submitted By: J Bartbros
A flatulent actor named Barton
Led a life exceedingly spartan.
Til a playwrite one day
Wrote a well-received play
With a part for Barton to fart in.
(anonymous.....)
Submitted By: Jeremy Diamond
There once was a man named Crocket
Who put his foot in a socket
When along came a witch,
Who turned on the switch,
And sent Crocket up like a rocket.
Submitted By: Amy Etheredge
This next one just happens to be,
A poem that I as in me,
Made up at my desk
For it is the best,
That a poem could ever be.
There once was a snake named Lena,
Who swallowed a concertina,
And when she was squeezed,
Way up in the trees
She played the macerena.
Submitted By: Jerry Mendelson
To see him's a real sad sight.
He has trouble in standing upright.
The cause of his trouble:
His back is bent double;
The found his suspenders too tight!
Submitted By: Snow White
There once was a cute little bunny,
Who I thought was sweet and funny.
He ate all the carrots,
And looked at the parrots,
And that was my cute little bunny.
Submitted By: LAURA BLACK
There one was a man from Peru,
Who dreamed of eating his shoe,
he awoke with a fright,
in the middle of the night,
and found that his dream had come true!
Submitted By: Amy Etheredge
A hungry young fellow named Marvin
Sat dreaming of turkeys and carvin'.
So a lady brought Spam,
But he said, "Thank you, ma'am;
I prefer the alternative: starvin'."
A boa constrictor named Lena
Once swallowed a concertina.
When she'd give it a squeeze
As she coiled in the trees
It would play the Macarena.
Submitted By: Parnian 3rd grader
There once was a man from France.
Who lived in a nest with ants.
He thought that he might
Stay up all night
And play with the ants and dance
Submitted By: Cam Van trump
There once was a guy named koos
Who took a drug overdose
he O D on crack
died with an ack
After he died, it looked gross.
Submitted By: Jack and Murray
We once hired people with skills
Who got high, drank white wine and took pills,
But my Chat wouldn't sell
Though we thought it was swell
So we invoked their "employment at will's"
Submitted By: Patrick McClenahen 3rd grade
There once was a man from France
Who liked to dance and dance
He thought he might
Give friends a delight
And dance with his dog Chance
Submitted By: Hannah 3rd grade
There once was a frog from a city
Who jumped on a really cute kitty
He thought he might
Get thrown out at night
And walk on home feeling pity.
Submitted By: Franchesca Cadelina 3rd grade
There once was a butterfly from France.
Who flew up and did a dance.
She thought that she might
crash into a kite
And never do another dance.
Submitted By: Laura Anne Black
My name is Laura Lane,
Be sure to Remember my name,
One day you will know,
For I will show,
All my fortune and fame!
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised April 1998