Submitted By: Vanessa
there once was a girl from Spain
who ran for the Liberal campaign
she said to Jean Cretian
"you must run again."
"even if you do use Rogaine!"
Submitted By: Henry Mucha
Rosetta Cody, from a family of cryptologists
Wed Stanley Stone, from a long line of archaeologists.
After she wed, her name
She changed, and it became
Rosetta Stone, famous to cryptologists, archeologists and Egyptologists.
Submitted By: Rattar
There was a toxic rat,
Who loved to slurp up fat,
He burped up a gopher,
That smelled of sulfur,
And also threw up a cat!
Submitted By: Werdna
There once was a dragon named Dey-Do
Who ate nothing but old dried out Play-Do
When he met an old man
With his head in a pan
He thought he had met a potato.
Submitted By: Brian Collingwood
There once was a lady names Linda,
Who sat all day by the winda.
Her thoughts set astray
By a nice Cabernet,
While her dinna turned into a cinda.
Submitted By: Ryan Michelle
Once in the rain I saw a man,
Strolling with an umbrella in hand.
When I said it was insane
To walk in the rain,
He said " Well then, I'll just stand".
Submitted By: Henry Mucha
A climber nicknamed Gorgeous George
Fell down into scenic Gorgeous Gorge.
He wasn't hurt, so he tried,
And managed, to climb outside.
Now they've renamed the place Gorgeous George Gorge.
Submitted By: Henry Mucha
There was a young man named Madill
Who rode an alligator for a thrill.
When they came back from the ride
Madill cried and cried.
All this time, his handycam battery was nil.
Submitted By: Henry Mucha
There once was a man named Jim,
Who was so exceedingly slim,
That when he turned sideways
(Even without any hideaways)
You could see no sign of him !
Submitted By: Henry Mucha
The thirsty man's face became wry,
When the barman offered him rye.
"I'm a teetotaler" he said, as he sat,
"But I'm so thirsty, that"
"I could drink Canada Dry".
(Ginger ale, geddit ?)
Submitted By: Henry Mucha
Said young Clark Kent to his parent
"I'm late to school, its apparent".
With speed so sublime,
That he went backward in time
he arrived, ere he had left his parent!
Submitted By: Brittni
Once there was a teacher
Who really liked the bleacher
So she stayed day and night
Holding it tight:
Her truly beloved bleacher
Submitted By: Andy Classen
There was a young man from Peru.
Who wanted to live in a shoe.
A size six was too small.
So he walked down the mall,
And found a size twelve with a view.
Submitted By: Jamie
There was a black dog named Rosie
Who tried to bite someone's toesies
She took a huge bite
Then ran out of sight
And left the poor guy with nine toesies
Submitted By: Jim Light
There once was a boy named Lee,
Who always threw rocks at a tree.
One day when it shivered,
Lee shaked and quivered
When out shot hundreds of bees!
Submitted By: Carrie Blakeslee
There lived a young cow in MA
He always had his own say
On the grass he would chew
Saying merrily moo moo
He often even ate hay
Submitted By: Mark C. Frederic
There was a young maiden, a Sioux,
As tempting as fresh honeydioux.
She displayed her cute knees
As she strolled past tepees,
And the braves, they all hollered "Wioux-Wioux!"
Submitted By: Mark C. Frederic
There was a young man who said, God
Must think it exceedingly odd
If he finds that this tree
Continues to be
When there's no one about in the Quad.
--- Reply ---
Dear Sir:
Your astonishment's odd:
I am always about in the Quad.
And that's why the tree
Will continue to be,
Since observed by
Yours Faithfully,
GOD.
Submitted By: Megan
There once was a girl named Megan
Who wore pink and red leggins
People in class
Told her to sit on glass
But she said no it might rip my leggins
Submitted By: Caitie
There once was a cowboy named Boone,
Who always hung out in a saloon,
He sat on a thistle,
And boy, did he whistle,
And he sat, picking them out by the moon.
Submitted By: W. Cooke
A young piggy-patriot named Pearl
was arrested for straightening her curl.
The pigs did contend,
her tail she'd pretend,
was a glorious flag to unfurl.
Submitted By: thomas
There once was a Kangaroo
Who lived in a large zoo
He had a big pouch
when he fell he said ouch
That was pretty stupid too
Submitted By: Jake
There once was a lad named McGuire
who became an accomplished old liar
then one day
he ran away
when he came back he's on fire
Submitted By: Caleb
There once was a man named Juan
who everyone noticed was gone
they look all around
he was nowhere to be found
then they saw him come out from the john
Submitted By: Jake Luszcz
There once was an old guy from Ruit
who wouldn't eat nothin' but fruit
he danced with the dog
had tea with a hog
which made most the people eat soup
Submitted By: Andrew
There once was a demon named Bob
Who was contented to plunder and rob
He shot out lost souls
Through tiny nose holes
For that was his long-lasting job.
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised May 1997