Submitted By: SW Cohen
Said Einstein I have an equation
Which some people may think Rabelaisian
Let V be Virginity
approaching Infinity
And P be a constant Persuasion
Now if V over P be inverted
And the root of P be inserted
X times into V
The result, QED
Is a relative, Einstein asserted.
Submitted By: Kite2sandy
There is only one day in the year
When something like that you can hear
I know if your not rainbow or Sandy
you can't understand how dandy
it is for you to come here!!!!!!!
Submitted By: Shaun Gibbs
The first one's original, the second my favorite of all time
Roses can sometimes be Red
And Violets are generally Blue
For it's not in the Rhyming
But all in the Timing
That makes a dumb Limerick True
There once a man from Japan
Whose Limericks would never quite scan
When asked why was so
He said "I don't know"
"But maybe it's because I always try to cram as many words into the last line as I ever possibly can !"
Submitted By: Rick
There once was a man named Bill Beebee
Who was in love with a girl named Phoebe
He said I must see
what the wedding fee be
Before Phoebe be Phoebe B. Beebee
Submitted By: anonymous
There was once a guy named Corey
Who was I must say rather gory
He ate a dead worm
and did not even squirm
as he barfed from the twenty third story.
Submitted By: Emily
There once was a man from Spain,
who often stood out in the rain.
He said with a grin,
"I should do this again,"
and then he went on to a plane!
Submitted By: John Henderson
There once was a man named Joe
Who had very crusty toes
He had corns and bunions
That smelled like onions
And that's how the story goes
Submitted By: jess
little lousie lue
had nothing whatever to do,
so she sat on the stairs
and counted out hairs
4302
Submitted By: Sana Khan
There once was a guy named Bret,
Who went on the INTERNET,
And sent an e-mail
to his beloved female
Who never loved him, yet.
Submitted By: Nadia
Take this one! Written by a Russian native
A lawyer, as smart as a lion
One day had an interesting client
Who promised to pay him
Five bucks everyday
For interpreting meaning of "liens"
Submitted By: Dr. Bob Reddoch
There once was a girl named O'Neil
Who went up on the great ferris wheel
But when half way around
She looked at the ground
And it cost her an eighty cent meal
Submitted By: Duncan Cline
Once on the lake at Dubuque
A girl took a sail with a duque.
He remarked,"I am sure
You are honest and pure."
And then leaned far over to puque!
Submitted By: Duncan Cline
There was a young fellow of Leeds
Who swallowed six packets of seeds.
In a month,silly ass,
He was covered with grass,
And he couldn't sit down for the weeds.
Submitted By: Duncan Cline
A man called Fiddle,you see,
Was a student of divinity.
"When I graduate
'Twill be my poor fate
To be known as Fiddle D.D.!"
Submitted By: Melanie E. Hunter
There once was a farmer named Josh
Who wore overalls by Osh Gosh b'Gosh
With blue converses on,
he gave Abby a bone
and then took the cows out to wash.
Submitted By: John Chastaine
A greasy old wino named Ray
gave the dollar "Lotto" a play.
Son of a bitch!
The bum struck it rich
and now he swills Mouton-Cadet!
Submitted By: Tiffany Boquet
There once was a cat named Pat,
Who didn't know where he was at,
He looked up and down,
and then turned around,
Ran into a wall and went splat!!!
Submitted By: Esque
There was a young man from Lenore,
Whose mouth was as wide as a door.
While attempting to grin,
He slipped and fell in,
And laid inside out on the floor.
Submitted By: Brian
There once was a woman from Crete
who was so exceedingly neat,
when she got out of bed
she stood on her head
to keep from soiling her feet.
Submitted By: Brian
There once was a bear at the zoo
Who always had something to do
When it bored him, you know,
to go to and fro,
he reversed it and went fro and to.
Submitted By: FONDUE
there once was a big ka-ka-doodle
who liked to sit on a poodle
he smashed the little dog
stuffed him in a log
then ate a big bowl of noodles
Submitted By: Grade 3
There once was a boy named Joe
Who dropped a big brick on his toe
He asked, with a frown,
"Will the swelling go down?"
And the doctor said, "Yes. I think so."
Submitted By: Josh Shayne
There once was a monster named Ned
He hid under little kids beds
He laid there all night
Waiting for a big bite
Only to be kicked in the head
Submitted By: Nelster Godfrey
There was a guy named Willy
Who liked to eat chile,
One day he ate too much,
His stomach went grunch
and made his house a smelly.
Submitted By: Steve Latham
There once was a kitty named spike,
A daring and very bold tyke.
He took many chances,
Without consequences,
Until he got squashed by a bike.
by Steve Latham
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised May 1997