Submitted By: Sasha Doyle
Once in the villiage of Bickers
There was an old house full of vicars
The one which was thin
Had alot coming in
For she had an obsession with nickers.
Submitted By: Kristen
There once was a man from Kentucky
Whose life was never lucky
He had no house
He had no spouse
But he loved his rubber ducky
Submitted By: Elizabeth
There once was a guy named Jesse,
who had a cow named Bessie.
He was oh so hot
but I am not.
And that's why he dumped me for Nessie.
Submitted By: Renae
There once was a mischevious cat
who was always wearing a hat
that was shaped like a square
and striped with a tear
and was always pacing the mat.
Submitted By: Nan Fowler
There was a young teacher in Fla.
Whoses conduct grew torid and ta.
An overwrought student
Grew rash and imprudent
And kissed her out in the ca.
Submitted By: william
At a lab a technician named sloan
pricked his finger while on the phone
a mistake he'd regret
when years later he met
his own illegitimate clone
Submitted By: Jo McNally
MASS MEDIUM
Considering cyberspace fine
He proposed to his sweetheart on line
But had reason to falter
When reaching the altar
For his brides numbered nine hundred nine!
Submitted By: Anonymous Coward
There once was a boy from Mount Shasta.
He was fast, but his brother was fasta.
The race starts with a bell,
But his brother soon fell,
Now his leg's in a white plasta casta!
Submitted By: Anonymous Coward
I once had an aunt named Susan.
Her stuff she was always a-losin'.
Socks under her bed,
and once her own head!
My uncle, he thought it amusin'!
I still have an uncle named Paul.
He is nice, and funny, and tall.
He came one weekend,
Said,"Why didn't you send
Aunt Sue a new head from the mall?"
Submitted By: Courtney Anderson
There was a young lass from Whittier.
Who thought she would look kinda prettier,
If she got a tatoo,
Of an entire zoo,
And all we can do is pity her.
Submitted By: Shelly
I really do hate Brittney Spears
I want want to kill her with a John Deer
She rips off her clothes
Why??? Nobody knows
A stripper should be her career
Submitted By: Madres Guès
There once was a lamb named Larry
Who suffered from a case of gluttony
He ate all the grass
His heart then collapsed
And now is used in spaghetti
Submitted By: Nancy Kaplan
Outrigger paddlers do not row
Synchronizing to hut, hike and ho.
They do it for pleasure
The win is their treasure
A sport that will continue to grow.
Submitted By: sarb
There was a youg fellow named Weir.
Who hadn't an atom of fear:
He indulged a desire
To touch a live wire;
So he set himself on gear!
Submitted By: H.Brewer
A lady from near lake Louise
Declared she was bothered by fleas
She used gasoline
And later was seen
Sailing over the hills and the trees
Submitted By: ???
There was an old man of Dublin
Whose ginger cat slept in the bin.
He chucked the cat out
With the heads of some trout
That silly old man of Dublin
Submitted By: ???
There was a young boy from Rome
Who broke his grandfather's gnome
So he said what shall I do
And hid in the loo
Along with a big iron comb
Submitted By: ???
There was an old man of Dumbree
Who taught the owls to drink tea
For he said "Eating the mice,
Is not very nice"
That amiable man of Dumbree
Submitted By: Pat Yelle
There was a young man who wed
A girl endowed and well fed
He said with a grin
She's not very thin
But I won't need a pillow in bed
Submitted By: Katie
There once was a big fish in my class
It was brought in by me in a glass
The fish fell on our floor
It's green guts it did pour
And I slipped and I fell on my bass
Submitted By: somebody
There once was a girl from Poughkeepsy
Who really was a bit tipsy
She fell down a tree
And then hurt her knee
But was too drunk to notice, you see?
Submitted By: Luke Corden
There was young man named Blight
Who had very poor eyesight
He got such a fright
When out went his light
That his bed was wet that night
Submitted By: Usagi
I once had a teacher so cruel
she insisted we all stay in school
Till death do we part
and learn limericks by heart
then our brains were all turned into gruel
Submitted By: Trey Standeffer
There was once a man from Peru
That decided to eat some stew;
But as he ate,
He decided to skate,
And he spilt his stew in do do.
Submitted By: Daniel Kelley
She smiled the day that I met her
and had eyes that said 'love' with four letters
and she carried the day
as I thought of the way
I'd done worse but I've never had better
Loony Limericks / webmaster@loonies.zzn.com / revised March 2001