Submitted By: Lancelot fortescue
There was a lady in Cincinatti
by the sweet name of Patty
once a man had her
and so roughly did buggar
that she is now plain batty.
Submitted By: arno brosi
there once was a sad man from Leeds
who lay every night alone under the sheets
he spend his sorry life
without the company of a wife
and he had to fullfill his own needs
Submitted By: akrltr
Big Brother Blucher of Brest
Insistently sinned by incest.
He buggered his brother,
And mounted his mother,
But insisted his sister was best.
Submitted By: Your Web Form
There once was a couple from Arburiswith
That made love with the things that they kissed with
But as they grew older
They got even bolder
And made love with the things that they pissed with
Submitted By: Nick Painter
There was a young man from Gosham,
Who took out his bollocks to wash em,
His wife said Jack, if you don't put them back
I'l stand on the bastards and squash em.
Submitted By: Diane Clark
There once lived a man in DC
Who'd been shut off by his wife Hillary
He refused to confess
But the proof's on the dress
So quit lying to us on T.V.
Submitted By: Scott Hendricks
A new farmer's helper named Kull
accidently was milking a bull
the farmer said "Boy, you're dumb
you milked the wrong one!"
said the boy "But me whole buckets full!"
Hope you liked this original limerick. If you want more,
visit (Feel free to LINK) my website at www.chivalry.com/axel/
I think you'll enjoy it. thanx. scott
Submitted By: Steve
When his daddy told young Willie Plum
How and where new babies come from
Willie sneered, "For two years,
I've been humpin' Sue Meers,
And she's had no kid papa you dumb.
Submitted By: jenny and brad
there once was a gay horny guy
who wanted to screw a fly
he looked at a girl
and started to hurl
and thought "if i had to screw a girl i'd die"
Submitted By: Jenna Tulls
There once was a man from seattle
he loved having sex with his cattle
one day he got hurt
when his twang hit the dirt
and now he straps into the saddle
Submitted By: Nick
Bradley has a thong
His hoo-hoo's not very long
It attracts women with stubble
Just like Barney Rubble
With whom he stays with all night long
Bradley's thong is teeney
It almost exposes his weenie
But he's not very big
'bout the size of a twig
There's no lump in his bikini
Joey likes Brad's thong
He says it excites his schlong
Together they wrestle
It gives them a special
Feeling down by their wongs.
Submitted By: Lar Jasscrack
There was a lady from Seattle
Who got off blowing off cattle
Until a bull from the south
Shot a load in her mouth
that made both of her ovaries rattle
Submitted By: stan
There was a young wife from Vancouver
who had a mouth like a Hoover
her husband, in bed,
was no fun, she said,
he just didn't like that maneuver
Submitted By: The Limerick Queen
There once was a girl named Savanna
whose coochie was big as Montana
she opens her legs
and softly she begs
stick in that massive banana
Submitted By: Sus
A serial killer from Philly,
a transsexual who walked rather silly
was slaying men, oh how bad
but her life was so sad
- she would KILL just to get her own willy!
Rather tasteless... heh... :)
Submitted By: Pat Short
While Titian was mixing rose madder
His model ascended a ladder
Her position to Titian
So he climbed up the ladder and had her
Submitted By: Louise
There once was a priest from Siberia
Who motives were very ulterior
He done to a nun
What he shouldn't have done
And now she's Mother Superior.
Submitted By: pimp daddy d
there once was a man from Seatle
who got his dick cut off in a battle
he said "Hollly Shit'
it looks like a clit"
and now he whacks off with a paddle
(i invented this one)
Submitted By: Andrew Boggs
Old King Billy had a ten foot Willy,
And he showed it to the lady next door,
She though it was a snake,
So she hit it with a rake,
And now it's only five foot four.
Submitted By: rowdyrob
A dignified lady of York,
tried to eat krap on a fork
Her son cried "you goon"
"you eat shit with a spoon
it's pork ya eat with a fork!"
Submitted By: Bob Kelly
Slick Willy gets away with a lot
He's had many a lass in his cot.
His polls keep ascending,
though lawsuits are pending
Yet his record shows nary a blot.
Submitted By: Bob Kelly
These two original limericks are for all the Clintonistas out there.....
Bill Clinton's a puzzling soul
Getting laid seems to be his main goal.
He'll pick out a sow
and proceed to drop trou.
Popularity shoots up his poll.
Submitted By: Joe Hayden
A tuna sat next to his brother,
Their Dad looked from one to the other,
"boys" he said "listen,
two things smell like fish'n
both of those things are your mother"
Submitted By: Sith Kitty
Poor Rushy had a budding romance,
But his thingie went zingy at a glance.
A bit to much tilt,
and up came his kilt,
And she laughed at his tiny love lance.
Submitted By: Sith Kitty
The new wife was the cheating slut kind.
But soon she was busted she'd find,
With pics at the wedding.
The best man in her bedding.
Doing more than pinching her hind.
Submitted By: Nathan Guess
there was a young laddie named Jock.
who had a most horrible shock.
He once took a shit
in a leaf covered pit
and the crap sprung a trap on his cock
Submitted By: Dameon Corr
There was a young man named Keith,
who liked to be fondeled beneeth.
When she used her lips,
he wiggled his hips,
but not when the bitch used her teeth.
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Loony Limericks / firstname.lastname@example.org / revised February 1999