Chris Freestone - Bushwhacker, Court Jester, Court Chanticleer (Until recently, Missing-Presumed In Bed), THE One
Sime - Serf in Charge of Garderobes, Sweet Magician, Esteemed Wizard, Saucy Sorcerer, Bonafide Court Ladies Main Plaything, Royal Masseuse, Royal Court Publisher, Castle Detective, Sir Moonshadow, The Shiver Master, Assistant Castle Tickler
Linda - Esteemed Treasurer (Collector of Golden Groats), Royal Court Scribe, Current Court Confessor, aka Lidlia, Vice President of Koontz Castle, Treasured Lady, Royal Court Literary Agent
Blaise - Honorable Left Gargoyle, Miss Castle Sleaze (On Official Leavy of Duty)
The Great Cthulhu - Honorable Right Wicked (but Lovable) Gargoyle
Staci - Range Rider and Shooter, CIC of Koontz' Castle Army, Royal Nurse Ratchett, Royal Bartender (Lady), Esteemed Communicator of Lost Souls
Luke - King of the Castle, Royal Court Spam Assassin, Castle Fireman
Carol - Queen of the Castle and Supreme Groom
Dawn - Damsel in Distress, Chef de Castle Koontz, Official Entertainer of Troops
The Outsider - The Royally Decreed Mickey Damnit
Gizmo Jason Krueger - Koontz Castle Gremlin
Lisa - Castle Gatekeeper, Practicing Court Doctor of Males, Official Reminder of Our Humanity, The Most Esteemed Executioner of Koontz Castle
Bryan - Official Castle Bouncer, Gunslinger and Alpha-Deviant, Royal Castle Defender, The Castle Treasure
Gayle - Lady in Waiting, The Castle Way Home, Pied Piperette
Tony - Knight in White Satin, Royal Doctor of Love and Gynocology, Royal Duke of BS, Sir Wolf, Esteemed Ho-Ho
Martin - The Interpreter of Koontz Castle
Bianca - The Royal Great Dane
Amy - Castle Librarian, Royal Bitch (Back in Time), KWO Band member on Spoons and Band Groupie
Eddie - Castle Punslinger First Class, The Worthy Castle Dinosaur, Royal Naviguessor, Court Primary Care Physician, Sir Southern Boy, Royal Court Advisor
Ami - The White Knight (Ma'am), Castle Snorker, Sister Ami the Evangelist, Your Lowness
Kelster - Queen of the Cudgel, Sous Chef de Koontz Castle
Rosie - Castle Geographer
Dohi - Jesting Photographer of Koontz Castle
Simon Moore - The Insider, Warlock of Koontz Castle
J.D. - Knight in Incredibly Shining Armor (Sir)
Fred P. - Castle Cop
Allan - President of Koontz Castle
Michelle - Dragon Groomer, Stylist in Charge of Salon Koontz, Castle Bitch and Moaner, Most Esteemed Royal Dishwasher
Jonathan (The Unforgiven) - Castle Co-Librarian, Court Loon, Royal Hacker of the Castle, Knight Protector General, Sir Smooth
Clare - Castle Little Welsh Wench
Sooz - Dancing Dragon Tamer (Puff & Kevin - pet Dragons), Cross-stitching Mother of Mark: Future Wizard, Court Shrink, aka Morag Mayhem
Snowman - Awesomely Handsome Prodigal Son, Assistant Assassin Under Staci, Sir Sweet, Esteemed Castle Songwriter
Pauline - Lady Possum
Shannon - Castle Cruise Director, Most Esteemed Second In Charge Stylist of Salon Koontz
Sue, aka JustMe, aka JiM
Scott - Plumply Perverse Pool Guy
Crystal Dreamer - Crystal Gazer Cake Maker
Tamara - Untitled as of yet.
Jodelli - Untitled as of yet.
Ranch - Founding President (No longer MIA, to our great relief)
MD - Former VI, Brother MD: Court Confessor, Amateur Gynocologist (AWOL)
Mamfa - Court Minstrel (Gone With The Wind)
Kaci - Wiper Upper (Gone With The Wind)
Tom - Royal Pepper Picker, Court Ladies Main Plaything, Personal Assistant to the Treasurer, Royal Bartender, Court Doctor of Females, Another Royal Masseause, Royal Yachtman, Court Friskee
Sarah - Court Doctor of Males, Castle Maestro (Out to Lunch)
Lori - Kennel-Mistress: Keeper of Castle Hounds (Far and Away)
Adam - Knight in Shining Armor, Original Sir Sweet (Grew up)
Luigi - Royal Engineer, Castle Poet, KWA Band Member on Raw Spaghetti Bunch (Far and Away)
Harry - Sous chef de Castle Koontz, KWA Band Member or Rhythm Guitar (Bat Out of Hell), Court Madam's Stableboy (Somewhere In Time)
Doughboy - Royal Baker, KWA Band Member on Guitar (Somewhere In Time)
Jadis - Court Scholar, Castle Gardener (Gone With The Wind)
JoeDee - Royal Aviatrix (Far and Away)
Scootie - Castle Sopwith Camel (Far and Away)
Eve - Castle Slave Girl (Somewhere In Time)
Elisabeth - Castle Horse (or is she Geoffry?) (Out To Pasture)
Raven - Castle's Rare Blonde Raven (Was a redhead when last seen), Dyslexic Ho
Mistress Stormy - Lady Wolf, Castle Weathergirl, Royal Castle Tickler, Official "IF" Girl (has taken a raincheck)
Rosalina - Castle Storyteller, Royal Historian Annex Psychic, Castle Ticklee (Joined Mistress Stormy)
Ginny - Keeper of the Royal Fan Mail (Gone Too Soon)
Ladyhawk - Castle Bus Driver, Royal Chauffeur (Flew The Coop)
Stu - Royal Advisor to the Crown (Unadvisedly gone)
Interesting Ian - Castle Psychic (Mind you, where is he?)
Julie - Moriarty to Sime's Sherlock
Hunter - Sir Hunter, Knight Of Koontz Castle, Royal Court Gigolo
Blaise - Honorable Left Gargoyle, Miss Castle Sleaze (On Official Leavy of Duty)
The Great Cthulhu - Honorable Right Wicked (but Lovable) Gargoyle
Darz - Royal Quiltmaker
Sagearch - Daydream Believer, Assassin-With-a-Bow, Dormant Philosopher
Karla - Castle Clairvoyant, Castle's Peasant Servant, Official Court Dragon Keeper
Lelia - Court Madam
Josh - Another Assistant Assassin, Castle Watchdog
Cathi K - Castle Cousin, Court Secret Agent Gal, Watson, Destiny's Darling
Kathryn - Proprietor-Matron Sainte of Bare Necessities, Court Female Jailer
Judi - Royal Stud Exerciser
KWA Band of Renown Featuring: King Luke and the Flaming Loaves
On Keyboards Sime
On Recorder Mark
On Rhythm Guitar Adam
On Tambourine Linda
On Vocals Sooz (Shoop-shoop girl), Staci (Shoop-shoop girl), Lisa
(Shoop-Shoop girl) Cathi (Harmony)
On Spoons Amy
Groupie Amy
On Saxaphone Dawn
On Drums Dawn
And Featuring....On the Dance Floor....ALLAN
Open on Holidays Only....Located Just Across the Moat from Koontz Castle is our newest establishment...Koontz' Holiday Ho-tel...by reservation only
Dawn - Head Ho
Staci - Celibate Ho, In Charge of Her Own Destiny
Linda - Never Actually Said She Was A Ho
Sister Ho's - Sooz, Cat, Amy
Jennie - Apprentice Celibate Ho In Charge of Her Own Destiny
Tony - Male Ho In Charge of His Own Destiny
Kathryn
- The Ho Wanna Be
Introducing: Madam Lelia's Stable:
Ernest - Court Madam's Castle Stud
Allan - Court Madam's Stableboy
Eddie - Court Madam's Castle Stud
Bryan - Court Madam's Stablehand
Sime - Specializing in Domination Games on Request
Josh - Court Madam's Sports Stud