Release Date: June 14, 2002
Starring: Kieran Culkin, Emile Hirsch, Jena Malone, Vincent D'Onofrio, Jodie Foster
Directed by: Peter Care
Written by: Jeff Stockwell, Michael Petroni
Distributed by: ThinkFilm, Inc.
MPAA Rating: R (language, sexual content, youth substance use)
Because of its title and release date, there will likely be some confusion about The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys, a nostalgic and somewhat visually innovative drama from director Peter Care. It has nothing to do with the sexual scandals that the Catholic Church seems to find itself perpetually embroiled in, nor the material that has been the subject of such contemporary films as Primal Fear and Sleepers. Rather, it is about adolescence, that dicey and often precarious time of life for young boys that aspiring filmmakers, such as Care, seem to have a particular affinity for depicting onscreen. But Care’s emotionally gritty drama lacks a particular focus; it is halfheartedly thrown together with no eye for the greater narrative.
It is a movie that feels incomplete. Half-drawn characters populate a sorrowful stage, wandering about a miserable world filled with individuals that are hardly audience-friendly. It does not, like so many “fill in the blank” pictures, invite the audience to complete the cast with their own experiences and knowledge, for these are characters on unlikely adventures for no discernable purpose.
Based on the book by Chris Fuhrman, the screenplay by Jeff Stockwell and Michael Petroni tells the story of Tim (Kieran Culkin) and Francis (Emile Hirsch), two Catholic school friends who find themselves in deep trouble after their stern, one-legged teacher, Sister Assumpta (Jodie Foster) finds a notebook filled with the boys’ obscene drawings. Assumpta confiscates the drawings, but Tim devises a plan to get her back -- the boys will drug a cougar at the local zoo and sneak the animal into Assumpta’s office, where it will, if all goes as planned, wreak havoc on the school. Meanwhile, Francis begins falling for a classmate, Margie (Jena Malone), who herself has a dark secret that threatens to wreck their blossoming relationship.
The story proper occasionally gives way to striking sequences of animation, which feature the boys’ alter egos -- muscle-bound heroes like the ones in the comic books they devour -- waging an epic battle against evil. This is an interesting touch to the film, and the drawings have the ring of fantastic truth to them (perhaps a testament to comic veteran Todd McFarlane’s involvement as an animation producer), but this animated subplot draws a predictable parallel to the live action. It is more gimmicky than artistic; while it lends a noteworthy visual quality to the film, it only makes the narrative heavier with ignoble symbolism.
The live action portion of the film is just as heavy but also fairly misguided. Although all of the three principle teenagers are capably played by Culkin, Hirsch, and Malone, and their material is taut with emotion, director Care plays it like pulling teeth. He occasionally hints at a back-story that might have made the film’s central conflict between Francis and Margie more poignant, but never gets around to it until it’s too late -- the viewer is thrown into a relationship that is stilted and terse, and sometimes agonizing to watch.
It is also occasionally uncomfortable, for the characters almost always appear to be at odds with one another. There is always room from drama in which filmmakers might startle the audience, and indeed, Care’s resolution to Tim’s great cougar heist does just that, but throughout the majority of the film’s 110 minutes he makes a point of heaping it on in great amounts. His cynical, distrustful perspective of adolescence pervades the film, in an irritatingly persistent fashion.
Nor does he have much to say about adolescence, other than that it is painful and incomprehensible. But is this always true? For filmmakers it seems a foregone conclusion, that young teens can only truly come of age after having endured some great emotional shakedown. The film even lacks the typical mentor character, as both of the well-known veterans in the cast, Jodie Foster as the cold Sister Assumpta and Vincent D’Onofrio as the indifferent Father Casey, are as unsympathetic as the rest of the bunch.
Granted, this isn’t a John Hughes movie and it certainly isn’t the bubbly fare that would star someone like Britney Spears or Mandy Moore. But films have excised more poignant revelations from adolescence without alienating their audiences -- the Stephen King adaptation Stand by Me is one good example. While The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys is most certainly emotionally wrought, it seems more like the fantastical creation of one of its 14-year-old centerpieces rather than an incisive motion picture.
all contents © 2002 Craig Roush