Release Date: November 21, 2001
Starring: Jason London, Zach Galifianakis, Flex Alexander, Derek Hamilton, Willie Garson, Lee Majors, Victoria Silvstedt
Directed by: Brendan Malloy, Emmett Malloy
Written by: Jon Zack
Distributed by: Buena Vista Pictures
MPAA Rating: PG-13 (language, crude and sexual humor, substance abuse)
There's really not much to say about Out Cold -- other than that it is simply a pathetic attempt to cash in on the past successes of other teen movies. It also tries to imitate the classic slob-versus-snob setups used in such movies as Caddyshack and Animal House. But this struggle between the different social classes isn't anywhere near enough to carry the film's weak plot and lame jokes.
It should be obvious that Out Cold is targeted strictly at male audiences -- the film's seemingly endless supply of crude humor, reckless drinking, and beautiful women is evidence enough. Former Playmate Victoria Silvstedt definitely makes the movie bearable (at least for the men in the crowd) as a sexy snow-bunny bent on rebelling against her father. And like all comedies, there are a few funny moments -- but nothing completely memorable.
The film follows snowboarders Rick (Jason London), Luke (Zach Galifianakis, who provides the majority of the movie's genuine comedy), Anthony (Flex Alexander) and Pig Pen (Derek Hamilton), who are living carefree lives snowboarding on Alaska's Bull Mountain. Their lifestyle consists of constantly partying, picking up girls, and basically doing anything to have fun. But when town's founder, Papa Muntz, unexpectedly dies, his son Ted (Willie Garson) decides to sell the mountain to a rich, monopoly-building visionary (Lee Majors). Everyone is upset by Ted's plans to transform the mountain into another typical yuppie ski resort and consequently these unlikely heroes must do everything in their power to prevent it.
In the midst of this, Out Cold does produce one particularly humorous scene in which the only two good things going for the film, Silvstedt and Galifianakis, are in a hot tub together. Silvstedt, topless (but shown only from PG-13 angles), tries seduce Galifianakis, and after getting him all worked up, decides to leave. To explain further would be to ruin one of the only good jokes in the film, but the process by which he rids himself of his extra sexual energy is priceless. Despite the chuckles, though, it's easy to see these are the kinds of predictable jokes that the film relied on too heavily to get cheap laughs from the audience.
Lee Majors, the Six-Million Dollar Man, returns to the Hollywood scene after nearly thirteen years away, only to play a villain in a piece of trash screwball comedy. Unfortunately for the film's ridiculous attempts at a storyline, he's just too likable to be cast as a villain. Majors may have just been showing off his range, but if so, it will be lost on the viewer. And through it all, there are moments when one can almost hear the cheesy seventies theme music and sound effects during his skiing scene.
The Malloys do deserve some credit for capturing many action-packed snowboarding stunts that many fans of the sport will surely appreciate. In fact, the entire opening of the film, and even the outtakes at the end, may be enough to make snowboarders feel that they haven't completely wasted their hard-earned money. But even though snowboarders may find a taste for it, any other average joe should be sure to bring a blanket and a pillow because this sleeper is sure to knock you Out Cold.
all contents © 2001 Ed Malinowski