The information below is from an article in
THE THERAPIST,
volume 17, Issue #1, January/February 2005.
"Marital Therapy and the Psychobiology
of Turning Toward and Turning Away"
by Stan Tatkin, Psy.D.:
"Secure couples are better at generating mutually experienced positive feeling and they are better at repairing and shortening
periods of mutually experienced negative feelings (Gottman, 1993). Theirs is a process of turning toward one another."
"Insecure couples eventually reverse this formula by withdrawing efforts to generate shared positive feelings while producing
frequent and extended periods of amplified negative states. Theirs is a process of turning away from one another ...."
In couples therapy, you and your partner will have many opportunities to reflect on whether you are acting in a "secure"
or "insecure" way and why.
You will also have many opportunities to practice new behaviors that can override previous unsuccessful attempts to connect
with your partner.
