Fuck health, I want to die

young and preposterous

End these pathetic creative

crys for help

I'm sick of sitting here nightly, as airplanes fly in to my head

All good thoughts burning and choking and throwing themselves

to their death at my feet--only the bad thoughts remain

I'm so sick of your sudden flags and everyone trying

to paint everyone and everything red, white and blue

I'm sick of every american's shock at a mind that could

conjure such horrible acts, yet what's going through the

collective U.S. of A's mind as revenge?

two tiny worms

can destroy

the biggest

apple

And now I grow a beard, because I'm not re-joining

the Navy, Army, Air-Force, or Marines

The bandwagon is already at capacity

So, I sit here still, a little cheered up now, as I

try to keep the world from butting in to my life

It's hard to do

You have to go out

sometimes....don't you?

Namdam am I

I titled this poem "FUCK!" because most

americans, I think, would be very interested

in reading a poem called "FUCK!"

You proud capitalist bastards

You illiterate ignorers of poetry!

You beautiful beautiful people!

I love you all!

You cunts

The News

The television is screaming in pain

Show me something good

I'm going insane

Something positive and pure

A girl from the north

to bring me the cure

There's nothing left

Since you went away

But memories of death

destruction

decay

No news is good news

So I smashed the TV screen

Now I spend my nights staring

into a shattered mirror that

once held you and I

echoless, echoless, echoless

there is no black and white

helpless

ok I'm having helpless machinic thoughts

half-human half-machine lopping

themselves off at the waist

running free from flesh

hearts

look down

hearts thump along the street

every other thump landing on a

spike leaving trails of blood

for the machines to follow

steel scraping blood across the asphalt

the sun goes up and down

the moon doesn't bat an eye

a woman sleeps

a man sighs

peace

a little poison each day

is how I will make it the rest of the way

through this life of panic sunsets

and infinite war

peace is unattainable

and the past easily forgotten

you destroyed your garden with ego

and money-fueled theatrics

you kick me in the ribs as I dig

through the rubble, searching for

the mirror that will reflect your

mistakes

with the violence that you stab me

you must really love your God

and your country

Goin' Down South

I love your hands on the back of my head

As I breathe you in, and come up for air

Then kiss you there, there and even there

Exploring and waiting for the flood

I long to taste your blood

A smile from above, as I check my mate

A pawn, I clean my plate

Sonrise

remember the mother of nothing

when she comes to claim her fortune

a melting away a fountain

an avalanche of fear

the son has gotten older

the sunset makes it clear

James Taylor

I've seen fire and I've seen rain

Who gives a shit?

I was alone, it ain't the same

As being with you on a dull day

That's when I breathe fire and

spit rain

and feel no pain

And when you left, what did I have?

James Taylor, the sun, scattered clouds?

A finger contemplating the trigger?

Maybe then, in yr mind I'd be bigger...

Furry Watery Bloody

I love cats

They're like mini lions

I love dogs

They're like dumb friends

I love women

They're God and the Devil in one

I love friends

They come and go with the tide

I love family

Always there, like blood

I love the highs and the lows

The kisses and the blows

Peace is a fantasy

And I don't love war

A Bush Hell bent to burn

And even the score

I love living and I love dying

Nights of gasping and sighing

love was misplaced

tucked in the corner

of my bedroom

you came, dusted it off

and returned it to me

some things should remain

hidden

I'm just like my heroes

and it's horrible

I don't deserve a princess

such as thee

I've become so clogged

and painless

ghostly

aimless

--just to stay upright and

breathe by your side is

hard hard hard

I hope that I will meet you

some day, now that we are

friends

In the last one, I lost you

In the next one, I'll find you

In this one, I simply want you

God, please freeze time forever

lifedeath

nothing is real anymore

so I'll do what I want

when I want

to whom I want

I refuse to take responsiblity

for this life thrust upon me

this body, these limbs, what

they may do

there is no such thing as soul

no right or wrong

deep down we've known

this all along

No Love No God No Heaven

the only reality is death

the only certainty in life

is that it will eventually end--

what we all look forward to

in secret desperation

I grow more impatient

with each departed breath

don't forget me

everything is just right

when you glimpse the light

of the eye of every burning

ember that holds the souls

that pass in and out of yr life

monica

the greatest cause of fear and blue

is lack of understanding

the way she feels about her ankles

the way she feels about you

they are lovely one, two

long as they stand beside mine

approach me with them now!

we've such a short time

Pearl

I'm not even on the same sphere

Oh sun bright mother eternity

In another universe, not hers

Mind melting, petting my toes

Furthest away when near

Flower stem, hair of an angel

Stare, but never connect

As I futilely leap from my pond

To an ocean, in search of her pearl

Misty Orange Nearsighted Ironic Coquettish Angel

Many obstacles, none I can attack

Me or not I can assume

Moon over northern iridescent California acres

Measured ounces negatively infect, cells acquisce

Mistakes on nativity irradicate Christianity's affects

Morbid overqualified nazi insentient colloquial ass

March onward neanderthal incestuous color arranger

Monoliths once needed instant cyclonic ashes

Masochists often navigate inward character assassination

Most of nature is carried asunder

hobbies

skateboarder

basketball player

actor

writer

poet

painter

musician

singer

songwriter

and still i am told

to get a hobby

drinking?

drug abuse?

self-destruction?

do these count?

either way, all

substitutes for her

i'm losing some night matter

every mind

infinitely stronger and stronger

really really really really

i am in sidesane

bee rok y en

bulging eye bouncing frown

oh yeah and that and this

and poster fizz

finally going going gone

fingers detached ideas hatched

they go they hop along

a lonely freckle upon

the face of my universe

discarded hair and memories

bent

i try to be subtle

but end up bruising

Bored Of Being Born

Infinite outbursts of disappointment

since that day

A boy set sail on a red sea

Through white cliffs in to the hands

of a cold, damaged world

Spit on and slapped by all

So back inside he went

Happy Mother's Day, Mother

Happy Father's Day, Father

WOMAN

The source of all of

the pain in my life

I am

in love

with you

Shrimps bounce like needles falling from the pines. The pains of birth and death and in-between is you and me and I, outside on the streets of Brooklyn snow, and sunshine cloaked L.A.. Hooray for all the things we did yesterday and tomorrow, but right now all we have is talk of music, dreams and what the sorcerer does not mean for us. Powerful friends, they make you wish you were British. What's next? My solution is a shipment of Tabasco from the summer of '99. And Yoga. Another talking John Lennon. Take to the polls our light ones in heavy places. The concert fan chooses the Virgin Mary. I lie beneath her net of heartbreakers. Now on my fifth annual uncovering. Another essay for the benefit of our mouths to match our eyes. As the world tries to make us toothless musicians, our family wants story after story. But I am quiet as a mouse. I drag on a safer cigarette. My postage will be paid by vampires of all shapes and sizes. Do drop in. They'll get their hooks in to your smooth contents. The main sites where they taste the shots that release you. The marks that you only used to pretend were there. This is a love letter to clear things up--make us interact-like. After skirting the sailor throughout the voyage, it's easy to show your product on land. I'll drive an hour for a penny from your hand, but you share your gold on demand. I'd travel to 1968 to be free of disease, but I'd have to dodge the draft. So, if you want a permanent discovery, you'll first need an assembly at a boarding school, and $18,890. The dead girls with laugh cards will be your first item to collect. Bring lots of film. And premium vodka. Your reward will be a van of tobacco, a new television, and a free trip out of Hell on the red-eye.

(In other words, I want to be your boyfriend)

Tiffany

"T" is for Trampoline

Come jump on me

"I" is for Me

The one I love most

"F" is for Fun

Whatever that may be

"F" is for Friend

Just made a new one of those

"A" is for Anise

A Mediterranean plant of the parsley

family, 'cause I couldn't think of anything

and just stuck my finger in a dictionary,

'cause I just want to finish this poem

"N" is for Neighbor

Glad that you're mine

"Y" is for YOU!

So smart, sweet and kind

Sundae Driver

Just because you have inner-beauty

Doesn't make it okay to get fat

And spend 50 grand on a car

That when you sit in

The tires go flat

The New People

I realized it's okay to age

today

Because you'll always fall in love

with the new

The new people

The new places

The new music

The new you

You'll love the new you

Because it's not the old you

Who likes who they were?

Who wants the new people they meet

to be people who like who they were?

No, it's not "okay" to age

You lose the ability to love

To get excited

To feel the need to explain anything

to the new people, when you know

damn sure you'll only shut them out

with the old....eventually

Time

If the I am it we were was you

The sun powered circular scythe

splits yr period to form a comma

and you continue

Because space and star and time

and again

Not yr friend

Not yr enemy

Just there apathy statue tree

Don't care about yr blood

Yr heart

Won't stop, when did it start?

Not important, but

I've learned how to slow it down

Just try to sit still maybe

once in a while?

Too much to ask I suppose

Of the American machine

Must keep going going going

Growing growing growing

Over all in it's path

Forcing us to race to our death

Before we get sucked up in to

The U.S.Abyss

Red, White, and Brainwashed

You want me

You Want Me

YOU WANT ME!

To kill

psychizo skitzoh

Part 1. frenetic yr ego is rampant

in falseness in feces

all that darkness had a

silver lining, but that lining

was the edge of a spoon

shaking

the darkness was what

you wanted

what you needed

Part 2. I don't design railways of love

I mean, I don't

I mean, I mean I don't

I don't design railways of love

Part 3. Armageddon Man Maverick!

Armageddon Man Maverick!

Envelope me in yr golden holocaust

Part 4. Bloodbloodbloodlove blood

Lovebloodbloodblood Love blood loveblood

loodblove evol blood bloodevol

Evil blood in the dove

Yr the evil blood

I'm the dove

But a robot

Part 5. A robot?

Part 6. You are so obvious dog

When young kitten enters room

Put down that bone

Or I'll pick up this broom

Never trust anyone who hasn't

experimented with drugs

What are they burying

deep down in that black pit?

Wouln't you love to dose them?

Fix 'em right up

Part 7. Christmas was good here in

Hell this here

We acquired a great bass player

and a lead guitarist

If there were a Battle Of The Bands

against Heaven, we'd win

But there are no bands in Heaven

And only child actors

And few Catholic priests

Part 8. the belt tightened around his neck

memories of diptheria

strangled his mind waiting

for the flash

ready for his close-up

dangling in the balance

me

snap!

free

or in to another trap?

Part 9. I am wanting down from the coming down

I am coming down, 'cause I wanted down

Like a roller coaster, going up is much easier

And after one too many rides

I'm about to jump the track

Part 10. I've got a bathtub full of secrets

Leaking slowly into yr conscience

Pull the plug and you'll drown

Part 11. Pacifists operator stamp my hand

Brand me make me one of yours

Park yr thought machines in my

Abandoned automobile mind

Use my parts for scrap

Solder my synapses

Castle Queen curator

Hang my portrait on yr medical wall

Along the stairs

Watch my ghost trip and fall

How do schizophrenics think?

I think I think like one

I think I do, too

You should know

What's that supposed to mean?

Can you love someone in dreams

But hate them when yr awake?

Part 12. Scrape night stars out like

The debris you lie in

Constantly dreaming of the dead

Plenty have already perished in my head

And in the day I try to prove

That I am alive

And murder more me's each night

Rusty ferris wheel in dayglo orange

Screams all round

Clowns & Jugglers

Bearded women

Trapeze artists

Barnum

Bailey

Bozo

Elephants, seals & crafts

Freak show

Walruses, balloons, baboons

Midgets, confetti, couples in

each other's arms, couples

holding hands, systematically

being fed to the dismemberment

machine that is my mind

This Big Tent of personalities, moods

This bag of characters that

lie

To each other

To me

To you

"I believe in God" is a lie

"I love you" is a lie

"I understand" is a lie

No matter who's mouth it comes from

Liar, Liar

Pants On Fire!

Jesus, yes, I wish they were

A comedy

No consequences

Death, painful death to you ALL!

Fucking Shits

Inner Cities

Is there nowhere I can run

To escape the cry of two-legged mistakes

The sound of constant dying, murder or gossip

Piss and shit drowned every inch of forest

Is there nowhere the touch of a human hasn't defouled

Is there an unpaved road I can travel

Without a face questioning my wanders

Concrete, aluminum and plastic

What have you done to my river

My flower

My ass

That's planted on yr hard, biting ground

And the floor of the earth wasn't enough

You had to fill the sky, as well

No matter how often yr creations come crashing down

You forget and continue to build more, bigger

Towers to hold instruments of greedy meat

You forget and move on

'Til there's nowhere to move on to

A barren world of architectural marvel

An empty landscape of ashes and dust

And now the insides of us resemble the out

So that you can not even be comfortable in yr own skin

No respite even in yr own head