Funny Signs

On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."
********
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

   At a Proctologist's door
"To expedite your visit please back in."

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

   On a Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
* *
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want
tows."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on
fire and take appropriate action."

   On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

   At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."

   On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome ! Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a
car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

   In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your
payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and
get fed up."

   In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

   At a Propane Filling Station,
"Tank heaven for little grills."
********
And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator
Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

From Niles R. on 5/27/2003