Dreago's Report

Dragon 2006 Monday: If you can't say anything nice, come sit next to us.

It has now become DragonCon tradition to save the art show for the last day. We wander around, looking at the various displays. Right after I say, "You know, Kell? I can't figure out if the art is tamer or if I'm just desensitized because I don't see any phallic fishy art this time around!", we bump into a booth filled with well, one picture showed a woman with a snake coming out of her mouth and going into her ...it's all very oral and phallic and yucky. And although I'm no prude, that's about as specific as I am going to get because we're tired of people googling all sorts of sick things and ending up at this website.


I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don't think I'll ever make a good actor because chances are, if I'm feelin' it, you're hearing about it or seeing it on my face. Cancer Sun AND Moon here. Kelly and I head over to the Tribal Autographs event. Everything is so confused. We don't know where to sit or where to stand in line. Kell and I sit and start chatting, only to be yelled at by some random fan, a random fan who was NOT staff, by the way, to shut up. Her scolding is an all inclusive one because even Cast apologizes sulkily. It's embarrasing, really.

At this point, I'm just tired of it all. I've witnessed so much in-fighting, out and out sabotage, desperation and dissapointment that I am beginning to soak it all in. As I wait to get my program signed, I think, "Why do I feel so sad? I've achieved everything I wanted! I got to hang with my friends, meet the cast, conduct my interview and dance the night away." But I know why. I've always been the morale thermometer. I'm the girl who picks up on the bad vibes and frets over it. I'm also the girl with a strong sense of loyalty (Taurus Rising). I've watched my friends be snubbed and alternatively, run ragged by other's demands. I don't care for it.

Matt asks me, "What's wrong? You look like you're about to cry." I lie and say I'm just tired. I hate lying. But I hate crying in public more. So, with my program signed, Kell and I get some lunch. Or rather we get separate lunch because we can't agree on food and I'm being mopey. We reunite for Tribe Q & A. There are some good moments. Caleb and Matt stand up and try to figure out who is taller. Then they start rolling around on the floor and wrestling. This is my favorite kind of threesome ("Boy, Boy, Girl -Or Charlize Theron"), and if rumor is correct, not the only threesome he will experience at Con. Still, neither was naked and covered in oil, so the moment passes and I lose interest.

And of course, there is always the yearly jaw-dropping question we highlight in our reports. Frankly, we're beginning to feel bad for always picking on this one person, but man, this fan has a real gift for asking questions in a creepy way. Remember the Meryl Rape question from a few years back? And the "what's it like being so good looking" question? He asks a question that strongly implies that indigenous stories are only being told because of white guilt and reverse discrimination. Tom Hern responds passionately and intelligently- telling the audience that Maori stories are New Zealand stories and that everyone has a tale to contribute. I consider having Tom's babies but that feeling is nipped in the bud by the following turn of events.

Well, apparently we're not the only ones who are tired of people and wishing for Con to end. After more long silences and awkward questions, Cast begins to get...testy. One fan asks a question that's been asked before and she is told to look it up on Tribe World. Ouch. Funny, but still, they are paid to answer questions, no? Leave the snark to us, people! Then, in a shocking move, Tom stands up and declared the track over. Even though there is a Tribal Goodbye scheduled for the end of the day. Staff ushers us out and like stunned cattle, we obey. I take back my fleeting desire to have his babies. Staff declares that they need "special time" with the Cast and the rest of the fans stand around and wait, unsure of what to do.

Since when does Cast decide how and when track ends? Granted, we know he is not going to get paid for this last event and that sucks, but damn, why take it out on the fans who had nothing to do with the foul up? The Fabulous Girls have had nothing but positive interactions with Cast, but even during the Con, fans were seeking us out and regaling us with tales of standoffish and cold behavior. It seems that Tribe Track politics involves everyone- us, the other fans, staff, sponsors and cast. I have theories on what went down and I'll share them in my next piece. But in the meantime, be assured that the Fabulous Girls had enough of moping. On with the show!

So, we bust out our camera and rewatch our interviews. We park ourselves at the Atrium and proceed to dish the dirt on everyone who walks by. When there is not dirt, we make up dialogue and story lines for the people living their lives in the elevators. As our table of girls begins to get bigger, we talk about dating, dream interpretation and Tarot. And because I love food and I love my friends, I invite our little party to dinner. As I said in the last con report- friends are really what DragonCon should be about.

After that, we're high on life. We bust out the video camera. We interview each other. And? We find out that Tribe Staff got a bunch of matching tattoos! Well, this is just the type of fan happening we want to get on tape. We rush over to the couches in front of the American Grill Hotel, hoping to catch a tattoo'd triber fresh after dinner. The interview is not very good, after all, I had no preparation and had only just been told about the ink. But the Fabulous Girls aren't greedy. We've sent the clip to Tribe Red Dragon. If you want to see it, ask them.

Shannon and Sam then tell us a hilarious story about a move they learned called "The Danny James Experience." Seems that the cast member in question got rip roaringly drunk and staff began to worry about his safety. However, that year, we tried really hard not to curtail anyone's fun. Looking back on it, perhaps we should have been a bit tougher. Anyways, Sam had to secretly follow Danny around so that he didn't stumble into traffic too long, didn't fall off a balcony and didn't end up alone in room, in a foreign country, with underage girls. Sam shows how she skulked around corners. I suggest that she should have crawled around platoon-style. I even try to show her how to do it backwards, crawling around on my back.

And then I just lose it. Suddenly I get this picture in my head of what I must look like, on my back, in a public hotel, crawling slowly out of my shirt. I turn bright red and laugh myself dizzy. Kelly catches the spirit and shows us how a good spy does a military like roll over the furniture. We catch it on tape. It is posted here. We laugh even harder. Matt Robinson walks by and we show him the tape. We're giddy with delight. And then I hear it. A loud, rumbling noise, like a gate closing.

At this point, we're on the sofas next to the American Grill Restuarant. I jump in response. Matt says that I really must need a drink. We laugh and go back to the tape. I hear that noise again. I look over, expecting the restaurant to be closing because the noise sounds like the mall grill closing at the entrance. Instead, I see a bunch of glass shower the floor and a man rolls through the roof of the restaurant lobby.

Really, he rolls. It was like he bounced off the glass, it broke, and he rolled through the opening. He didn't make a sound, but he sluggishly rolled on the carpet. Sam and I call 9-1-1. Matt and I head towards the young man. The operator asked if he was bleeding or alert. But before we can touch him, we hear that noise again. Matt turns and rushes Sam out of the tunnel. For a brief moment I hesitate. This young man is hurt. And what are the odds of glass falling in the same place? But then I realize that my husband will divorce me if he finds out I got hurt because I was being stupid. So I start to run as the glass begins to make that rumbling noise again. However, nothing happens.

I tremble with fear, just for a moment. And then, I stifle a giggle as I think, "wow, Kelly just rolled off the couch, some guy rolls off the roof!". Sam has begun to shake and exclaim, "I'm not used to this kind of thing." As I turn to console her, all my feelings dissapear. It's about time my training kicks in! Or my pension for dissasociation. The paramedics are on their way and Matt herds us towards the bar. Nothing to see here. Our group finds a table and we begin to talk about nothing and everything.

Here is what really, really, really pisses me off. A group of Tribe Fans, who did NOT witness the actual event, just the aftermath, because they were not there at the tunnel entrance, troop in. They proceed to coo over us, shooting glances at Matt and then they cry. What are all these hysterics about? Getting cast attention. That's just disgusting. I don't care how many enemies this report will make me. You want to get laid? Do it some other way and don't use a poor guy's accident as your ticket to ride. Matt was fine. He did NOT have a scratch on him. He did NOT give the guy CPR. Although he's a nice guy, he's not the hero of the piece. Nor is he a tragic victim. Like the rest of us, he's just a witness. I've read and heard the rumors. There are no heroes here and it's inappropriate to spin a fairytale out of this event.

While we are talking, Shannon asks what everyone thinks of DragonCon. Matt decides to unload Cast feelings about DragonCon. They're not good, just as we've suspected. Cast feels pulled every which way and overwhelmed. He begins to rant about the need to set aside Tribe politics. We agree. However, I don't think Cast got our point that they need to take their complaints to the right people. It is pretty hard to hear that Cast was having a disappointing time just like we were. But all is not lost. How bad can it be when you have plenty of sex, drugs and rock n roll at your beck and call? Whiners. I hear Booze, Blunts and Boobs capped the night.

And despite my own whining, I enjoyed the time I got to spend with my pals, at other panels and at some of the great dances offered at D*C. I could easily take my money and play in a different sand box. But tribe fandom has brought me some good times and good pals. So I have decided that I would use my powers for good- I plan to write another report explaining Tribal Politics as I understand them in an effort to get Fandom to start talking and hopefully solving some of the problems. Let's face it. We're screwing ourselves out of a Tribal Gathering.

I sleep peacefully that last night. Despite what had happened, I was upbeat Tuesday morning. I was going to go see Shakira with another Fabulous friend. My vacation had just started.