Hot diggity damn it's about time I update this thing!!!! Almost had to give me a Mike Jacob Award.

So what the fuck's been goin on the past year? Well last time I talked to y'all I was fixin to fire up the big ass RV to go out lookin for weenies with Keizerbread, Big Ed, and Swaggerty Mike. But we didn't see no weenies, so we went over to that big ass steak ranch - the one that had them deep fried onion rings. But they didn't have the onion rings no more. Then we played us some wiffle ball. Then I made a triumphant return to the hills. Only got to stay there a couple days, didn't even get in any wiffle ball, but got to see Skool Bird hit a couple of weak popups in him and Bern's beer league softball game. Then after that I made my classic miracle midnight drive across the desert all the way back to the flat red dirt. About a week later I went out with Screamin Jay to try lookin for weenies again. Didn't see any then either, but I got to see Screamin Jay's truck get beat up by some big ass hail. Went to the Brickhouse a couple times last summer to see the Redbricks get their asses kicked by a 275 lb dude who throws 47 mph and the tallest Korean who ever lived. By the end of the summer I wanted to go to the hills again for some reason, so I fired up the big ass RV again and made another miracle drive across the desert back to the hills. And who else was there to greet me but Bern's Bastard Cat. Hoo doggie he's really gotten old and crotchety, his face is all shriveled up now and he's got a shitload of black shit all over his eyelids and mouth. But he's still a great cat. Then a couple hours later the Norman Invader showed up. I guess a couple weeks earlier this black and white fluffy cat invaded the backyard, got in a pretty bad war with the Bastard Cat, but the Bastard Cat lost so now he only got control of the front yard. He was pretty much a dick to me and all afraid of me and stuff. Later on that day we went over to Motown and had us a whodis reunion - damn near everyone was there - BD, HL, Bern, Skool Bird, Injun Chris, and FK Yoo. The real reason I came though was to see Bern and Skooly's Tecate League baseball game. Now I ain't never seen none of their games, but I always said that team was full of 5'6" Mexicans who hit a bunch of 39 hoppers to second base. Well I was right about that, but they also couldn't field or run the bases too good either. It was a pretty good game though, went 11 innins. Bern pitched like 3 2/3 innings of relief, then he pulled a Rob Dibble and threw the ball 500 feet over the outfield fence after givin up the game winnin sac fly. And Skooly did a great job keepin the pitchers and the benches warm all 11 innins, even hit some pretty good fungos before the game too. Of course Skooly always has been good at hittin popups. A few days after that we got in one of our world famous wiffle ball games. Of course my camera pretty much shit out on me durin that game so I really don't remember nothin about it no more. Then I went back to the flat red dirt and pretty much sat on my fat ass for several months.

Also took a trip up to the Rockies this winter too. Got to see Swaggerty Mike there, also saw the big ass radar trucks. Was pretty darn cold there, got so cold on the way up there I got frost on the inside of my truck's windows. Overall it was a pretty good time. Except for that one dykey lookin he-she in the elevator who looked like that chick in Iraq who was pointin at those Iraqi dude's weenies that kept sayin how he/she had heard of me in a real snotty voice while I was tryin to have a conversation with somebody else.

Oh yeah I had to work some too. What's been goin on at work, you ask? Well we pretty much had usselves a Latin Invasion over the summer, I'm one of the few people there who speaks fluent English anymore, so it's pretty hard to talk to my coworkers. And it's pretty hard for our customers to order, hoo doggie do they get pissed off when they try to order. The dump's pretty much fallin apart too, we still got us a shitload of termites eatin up the inside of the store. And if it ain't that, it's the raw sewage flowin across the floor. Gomer Choad and Football Rich is still screechin and growlin at each other like old married people. Football Regina's stinky ass is still dressin like a stripper. Oh yeah that reminds me.

A few weeks back BD, HL, and Bern came on over to the flat red dirt. Went over to Drillerville and the Brickhouse to see some games. Then went to a bunch of bars with Bern. We pretty much decided all the bars sucked, so we went over to the tittie bar. Pretty much all the chicks there were either fatter than me, older than me, or had smaller titties than me. A couple of them weren't too bad though. I even got one of them to touch me without havin to pay. What was really funny was seein this 84 year old dude in there tryin to get some, and also this 500 lb dude tryin to get some. No the funny part was seein Bern rollin all over the floor laughin at them. But bein in there just convinced me more and more that I need to cut my weeny off and become a chick....hot damn the chicks get all the action in there. Just like how the chicks are always the only ones who get sprayed with water at outdoor concerts. Well it's like how the old sayin goes, if y'all wanna get with chicks, y'alls probably gonna have to become one.

Oh yeah speakin of bitches with huge sacks of chest fat that smell like crap, I think Cathy may have reared her ugly head again, and might be snoopin round the shack. Remember that message board she went ramblin on a few years back, the one where she wrote this? Well I think she told that dude who ran that board about it and had him come over to the shack too. You see one day a couple months back I posted a note on that message board - nothin bad or nothin, just sayin what I've been up to the past few years. Well next thing I know a couple days later all the sudden I'm banned from the board, and the day after that the message board is gone. I never had no problems with the dude who ran the board, the only thing that I think might have pissed him off was seein the messages from that board I put up in the shack. Well like I said before, that's why y'all gotta watch what y'alls sayin on line and shit. If y'all don't want nobody else to read it, don't say it.

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